Nothing Left

#Chapter1 Nothing Left

Prologue

I breath through as I stood still, staring up in awe when it was breathing through strongly. Dead eyes looking down on me as if I was worth nothing.

So I waited, not opening my mouth when I watched it closely not knowing exactly what to do. We worked so hard, we've been through so much to get to this point to this place. All our resources and Hope's set into this last option

gladly I will die knowing I tried

I told myself over and over again. That's what we've always told each other when all the odds were against us

Yet here I was covered in blood, dirt and alone wanting to prove myself worthy when we both knew I wasn't. Nobody was.. our world wasn't.

But as I looked back up at it i realized more and more that it wasnt glaring or judging me. It was watching me.

My eyes lowered in shame as I looked at my bloody and dirty hands.

I wasnt worthy, what was I expecting when I came here ? That it will bow to me that it will just listen.

Pathetic.

I'm just another tiny life in its eyes.

Stained and guilty as the rest of them

I dropped my weapons, everything I had on me I put it down before getting to my knees myself.

I realized what I truly came here for.

It wasnt what everyone had told me

And if I'd die for it I wont fail this final test no matter the outcome.

because to most of it all.

I stayed true to what I thought was right I stayed myself and I stand to mistakes I've made i will not hide behind my name or my past neither my bloodline or the people I've known and loved.

We've changed so much in so little time, more than anyone could've thought or expected. I was proud to have been chosen and be a part of a journey like this to fight for people that needed it.

And those who I kneel before now, They will know who needs them who deserved them.

Even if I wasnt one of them.

I made sure I brought the message that there are many lives worth saving.

Lives I'd die for without hesitating.

I know who I am, I know what I want, what I can do and I now know

why I truly am here.

Silent,

That is how I would describe the atmosphere on that dark day.

Jongin cried very silently when we burried his father in the middle of the forest because there was no where else we could bury him and he needed to be burried.

I have learned that it was a human tradition to bury their lost ones.

Ofcorse I long knew before that burning them meant they would be sent to hell.

I did not believe in any of those sayings. As two faced as my mother was, she was not evil to be sent to hell if it even existed for all I knew.

Jongin believed in heaven and hell though he did not believe anyone was truly evil to end up in hell i found it interessting how he had his own opinion on those believes. To him hell was a place where people would learn to cleanse themselves and travel to heaven to be in paradise once they have redeemed themselves.

He believed I belonged to heaven with him.

But I cannot seem to care.. i just wanted to be with him no matter the place.

I have come to realize that even more when I saw him this broken.

This silent.

Almost like he did not want to make a sound to show he was hurt yet he could not hide the fact that he was.

I hugged him close and tightly while he was on his knees and I accepted chanyeol blaming me for the loss be cause i could not disagree with it.

I would have accepted it even if it came from jongin.

But jongin was silent.

'' theres a million little reasons for why, I like your smile /"

My eyes opened as I woke up from having dreamed back to the night we danced like we did not have a single care in the world.

Little did we know what would happen.

I swallowed sitting up from where I had been laying down sideways, realizing the jacket that had been laid over me while I was asleep.

It was jongins jacket and I turned my head to see him sleeping next to me, facing me with his back.

I hesitated looking around us to see our fire place close by with jongdae sitting by it.

Taking the jacket off me I laid it over jongin instead looking at him for a moment when i spotted how he was frowning as I laid my hand gently against his forehead. He was sweating possible from another bad dream but at least he was sleeping.

Sighing I stood up to hug myself as the cool breeze hit my body, i took a seat besides the servant.

'' you can rest now I will keep watch/"

Jongdae turned his head a little to me as I reached my hands out to the fire wanting to wark them up.

'' aren't you sirens suppose to be resistant against the cold ? /"

'' I am walking on 2 feet not a tail am I? Everything changed ever since I stepped on land /"

He was quiet at that again, looking briefly over his shoulder at his prince and I looked away uncomfortable.

It had been 2 days, jongin insisted we should move further away from the castle in case they searched us.

Then there was this journey his father had talked to him about that we needed to find baekhyun again to explain. When none of us knew what.

Jongin tried acting strong as a leader should but I did not like it.

He could act strong and strong minded, responsible, confident and sure when he was standing in front of his followers but not when he was standing just in front of me.

'' I did not mean for this to happen.. I would never want anything like this to happen.. I know what it is like to lose someone I would never want jongin to experience something like that /"

Jongdae nodded looking back at the fire ''I'm not blaming you.. I agreed with your plan aswell.. I guess I wasnt ready to give up on her either but this isnt a fairy tale in the end we are all guilty for believing it was. /"

I glanced down aswell starting to play with my hands when it went a little awkward. I wanted to say something but I didnt know what or how to.

I was thankful that he didnt blame me like chanyeol had. It actually helped a little to hear him say those words.

My eyes traveled up to look at the knight sleepinagainst the tree with sword between his legs.

'' why does he always sleep like that ? Is it not tradition aswell to sleep while laying down on land /"

It took jongdae a moment to realize what I was referring to till he shrugged shoulders unbothered '' he wants to stay alert /"

'' he does not trust me /"

'' well /" he sighed '' your kind is still suppose to be our enemy. We're raised to hate anything that isn't human or useful to us /"

I looked at him thoughtful. Sirens were also raised to those beliefs, we would have stories of how horrible others are. Ofcorse we were always the innocent victims used and betrayed. It must have been the same just the other way around with humans.'' you do not seem to be affected that much by being raised like that /"

'' I was raised by my sister, she loved a werewolf .. you know that story it was her death and I hated not just the wolves but everyone. Nobody scared about the fact that she was killed they just scared becaus eit was a werewolf who did it /" he frowned with a huffed '' my sister never cared about those things she just didnt want to see anyone suffer anymore she wanted the war to finally end and I want the same.. /"

I nodded to myself understanding him as I watched him straighten himself with a deep inhale.

'' I am sorry for your loss .. you are helping jongin greatly, you are doing everything you can your sister would be proud.. should be /"

He smirked huffing out a chuckle when he slightly looked at me before picking up a stick to poke around in the fire amused.

'' you probably saved my life that day you know.. after you told me you hated me and everyone else/"

I was quiet clenching my jaw when I thought back to the moment before coming up with words '' I said I hated you I did not say I wanted you dead ?/"

As I said that that servant chuckled lightly while i frowned in irritation back at him.

I thought to that day again and what had happened on it. A particular incident making me glance back at chnayeol '' you think he would want me dead ?/"

Jongdae looked at him aswell while I now looked back at him frowning still in seriousness '' well ... its complicated /"

He must have noticed that I was not satisfied with just that answer when he cleared his throat continously poking around in the fire '' why dont you get some more sleep if I'm being honest I fell asleep soon as everyone else did I'm rested now /"

It almost felt like I should be scolding him but since nothing happened I did not have the energy to start a fight over this specilaly after we had the gentle talk just now.

So instead I nodded feeling how tired I had been still myself. It was hard to get good dreams since a while.

He did not say more either when stood up to walk back over to where jongin had been still sleeping.

Quieckly I approached the space besides him, getting to my knees first before I got down to lay besides him.

Looking at him while we both laid sideways to face each other.

'' you shouldnt worry /" he whispered.

I swallowed looking down instead as he opened his eyes to look at me.

'' its not your fault, chanyeol will figure that out aswell /"

He lifted bis arm lightly showing me his arms were open for me and i Scooter closer to have him Hug me with the jacket as a blanker over both of us. '' do not leave me /"

'' I'll always be on your side, Tippy toes /" he exhaled leaning onto the top of my head and I closed my eyes whispering back

'' I will only be on your side /"