Refusal

"Edmond." Mr Zheng suddenly called me as soon as I boarded the bus with Emily.

Although I was annoyed and just want to get to my seat so that I can sleep, I still stopped to answer him as a sign of respect. "Yes, teacher?"

"Why don't you sit beside me? We can have a little talk while on the way." He smiled, patting the seat beside him.

I almost hissed at him out of annoyance. Why can't he just see that I don't want to talk? Not to mention, he brought attention from everyone else on to me. Now almost everyone on the bus had their eyes on me.

As soon as he said that, I can feel this anger and fear coming up. I'm both angry at Mr Zheng, while also afraid of everyone else looking at me, afraid of what they feel about me.

I know he's trying to help me in his way, but why doesn't he understand that he is causing me distress!

As I look around, I tried my best to push down this panic that is kicking in. I can feel my stomach churn, and somehow, it's as if I can hear what is going on everyone else's heads right now.

Oh, poor guy. What a pitiful life he is having.....

I'm glad I am not like him, it'd be so embarrassing...

Ha, sucks to be that guy, I'd end my life if I were him...

I did my best to shut them out, trying to pretend I'm okay, but they just keep coming. Now all I want to do is to go to sleep so I can escape into my peaceful spot.

"Mr. Zheng, can't you see you're causing him trouble! So much for a counselling teacher!" That was when Emily snapped at Mr. Zheng, and his eyes widened. Of course, Emily was usually a good kid in school, so it is rather surprising to see her do something like this. Even though I knew she'd try to defend me, I'd never expected her to just lash out like this.

"Miss Aliskerr, look, I'm trying to help-"

"Can't you see your help is causing him more distress, leave him alone." She spoke those words, leaving Mr Zheng was left stunned, while she pulled my hand and headed for an empty double seat to the back right of the bus. "Come on, Edmond, let's go."

I let her drag me across the bus, unsure of what to do anyway. On one hand, I wanted to apologize to Mr Zheng for her outburst, but at the same time, I just want to get out of this situation before I break down.

But before I can settle with a decision, we've already arrived at the seat, so I guess maybe I'll just go with the flow. Besides, it doesn't seem like Mr Zheng is going to stop us, so might as well just let it slide. The apology can wait.

And this was why I didn't dare to register for the summer camp in the first place...

I thought so as I drifted off to sleep after I settled myself in the seat beside the window, with Emily silently looking after me.

——

Edmond Corbyn. Once renowned as a prodigy and the head of the next generation of mages, at only the age of 7, he already displayed great attunement to magic. A prime example being the ability of casting magic without the help of spells, which some still struggle to achieve even in their late 30s.

Just with this example alone, it was enough to cause shock in anyone. And yet, if they knew what else he was capable of, their jaw would probably dislodge from their face.

To interact with mana seems simple enough, but it is definitely no easy feat. Not only it is something that very much depends on the feelings, but it is also limited by a person's ability to regenerate mana, the maximum output of mana in an instant, and their ability to shape the mana into the preferred form.

Which is why despite children have great sense of imagination, they can't really do everything they want with mana. It's because their body isn't capable of such a thing. It's as if the world had put a limit on humans, it is only when they're old enough to understand the world that they can tap into the joy of creation with mana. But by then, their wild imaginations were already rusted by the sea known as time. Putting them back at the starting point.

Which is why it is so abnormal for Edmond Corbyn to have such talents at such a young age. Because not only does it mean that his body had fully developed its mana system, but it also means that he was able to analyze and understand how a spell works just by looking at it.

But despite the glorious days, he still ended up like this today. There were many speculations on why did he lost it, some were widely accepted, some not so much, while some evolved into conspiracy theories on their own.

At first, the government did a number of attempts to help him restore his mana, yet they were all futile. But it wasn't long before they gave up as well.

That's basically what Mr Zheng knows about Edmond Corbyn.

When Mr Zheng first saw Edmond in his primary school, he remembered how Edmond was such a cheerful child. Full of curiosity and full of life, just like all child is. Which is why although the other teachers treat the prodigy with respect, he treated Edmond like any other.

But ever since the incident occurred, Edmond becomes more gloomy with each passing day, the energetic sparks of life in Edmond's eyes were no longer there, replaced by a hollowed out emptiness.

Those were the eyes of someone who wants to die. Oh, how Mr Zheng know it very well despite both their young age. He knew, if nobody held Edmond's hands. He'll be nowhere in this world very soon.

Which is why, Mr Zheng decided to take the burden on himself, even if the other teachers deserting him after seeing no more hope in Edmond, a hard irony on how things were before and now. With Mr Zheng putting extra care on Edmond in contrary to how he simply treated him like any other.

But despite all his attempts, contacting both his older brother Nick Corbyn for his assistance, it felt as if Edmond is getting more and more reluctant of accepting Mr Zheng's help.

And just now, with Emily Aliskerr, who took a liking on Edmond ever since he lost his mana for some reason, lashing out at him for being a bother to Edmond. Mr Zheng couldn't help but begin to doubt himself, is it really a good decision to help Edmond in the first place?

Perhaps all of this was only him being too self centered, maybe Edmond never wanted help in the beginning, maybe it is better for someone who is dead inside to be dead instead of painfully latching on to life...?