1 Prologue

I can't say whether I'm more surprised that I was hit by a truck or that I'm seemingly in the dark realm of what I can only assume is some realm/level of hell or that heaven or any other form of after-death existence doesn't exist and I now just need to fall into an eternal sleep.

Luckily for me, there's a man... thing shrouded in darkness to my left just staring at me... quietly... without moving or seemingly even breathing.

Lucky me?

Before I could raise my own questions, I was beaten to the punch by the thing shrouded in darkness.

"Congrats, you've won the lottery boy. You get a new life of your choosing thanks to the Fates."

Great, its voice is neither manly nor feminine!

"Wait... does that mean you or the Fates killed me?!" I asked as this whole situation suddenly got really familiar.

"Yeah. And look how lucky you are to have died faster" It said smugly.

Oh, this bitch.

"I WAS ON MY WAY TO GET LAID AND LOSE MY VIRGINITY YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed. I had spent 17 years of my life alone and as a joke and gift, my best friend Donny got me what I can only describe as a 1-night free prostitute coupon from his friend who's a club owner.

I don't know how an "employee" will know it's legit but there's a phone number on the "coupon" so I guess they just give him a call or one of his helpers will answer. Either way, being a second-end friend of a club owner/pimp seemed to have its perks.

Unless you get your ass run over like me. Then unless that club owner is a certain handsome devil, who owes you a big favor, you should likely call it quits.

"Yeah, I know. I was technically there. Jesus, what is up with humans announcing everything that has happened when it happens.

And back to your point, that's why it's funny. I mean, what a way to get cockblocked right? Not exactly the first time an isekai/transmigration cockblock has happened. But it certainly never gets old seeing you humans freak out every time it happens. Unleeesss it's a girl... then it just feels awkward."

"PUT. ME. BACK." I demanded.

"So you don't want to get reincarnated?"

"No! I was perfectly fine with how my life was going. You prick!"

"Oh... welp, memory wipe it is."

"Wait wha-*poof*" I vanished.

The thing in the shrouds Perspective:

"Woulda said you died because it was your fate and not BY the Fates but you wouldn't have believed me anyway... maybe. Why did we let that old perv and his kid give humans free will?"

"ugh, whatever. But now I have to spin the wheels by myself... god this is gonna be awkward."

With a flick of the shrouded entity's finger, two wheels appeared and automatically started spinning.

It was awkwardly still 20 seconds before the wheels slowed.

The wheel closest to the entity stopped first. The wheel landed one place after the Marvel cancerverse and one place before Boku No Pico. Landing directly in the middle of ☆My Hero Academia☆. (AN: Which is scarier?🤔)

Stopping a few seconds after its predecessor. The second wheel landed one after No Powers and a couple of millimeters from Masterful Fellatio Skills. Gifting the forcefully reincarnated man "The Ability to End Life".

"Well, that's that. I wonder when us gods are gonna stop grabbing random people and just cloning them like seriously it's much more efficient and easier on the paperwork."

(AN: Honestly didn't try much on this prologue cuz I'm tired, just made funny additions and called it a day.)