Death From Bird Shit

Some people call me a loser, others a weirdo, some even call me bad names :(

Jk, tf. Anyways, my name is Francisco Reymos, summer break is here, AND I CAN'T WAIT! I had the whole thing planned out! I'm gonna get some snacks, some drinks, some tunes, and good times. That was until I cracked my skull so hard my brain came out. You know whats the worst part about that? I didn't immediately die. Yep. I just sat there and slowly bled out. The second worst part? SOME FUCKER RAN OVER MY LEGS!!! Houston, I swear, every driver has to be driving at least 60 miles per hour(96.5 kilometers) Anyways, I guess I should start from the beginning.

It was a normal day in Houston, which meant rain, snow, and blistering heat. Today, it was the latter. It was the last day of school and I, of course, skipped school. It's the last day, what are they gonna do? Give me detention? So it's the last day of school and I decided to stock up on food and drinks so I don't have to leave my house for a while. My parents were quite well off and gave me money and paid my rent as long as got good grades and stayed out of trouble. Of course, when you give your school false phone numbers they can't do much, can they? Anyways, I'm currently walking to the local Dollar General since HEB is too far and not as cheap. Quantity over quality is most important here after all.

I am also walking because have you ever driven in Houston? The DMV needs to step their game up. Anyway, inside the Dollar General I grabbed as much candy, drinks, and junk food as possible. Maybe some adult diapers too? Tempting, but I'm sure I can hold it. I walked to the cashier-Hey! I know that kid!

"Whatsup, dumbass?" I say, high-fiving him

"Nothing much but seeing people steal and dying of boredom, they don't even let us use our fucking phones man!" my friend said.

"Haha, loser, anyway, you can come to my place if you need a place to crash again," I said, giving him my card and opening a coke.

"Yeah, I might get evicted soon, I'll call you," my friend said.

Walking out of the store I spotted yet another friend, walking up to her I was about to pat her on the back, sadly, this was my downfall as I stepped in bird shit and slipped backward onto my head.

"Hu-WHAT THE FUCK FRANK!" she said, taking a step back.

Holy fuck my head hurt, imagine hitting your head, but like times 1000 and like 100 degree sidewalk burning your brain, I did get one last scream after I felt something crush my legs.

"Damn....No New Vegas," I said before I closed my eyes.

....

....

....

I opened my eyes to see something quite surprising.

[WELCOME TO THE "SYSTEM", PLEASE PICK YOUR PREFERED PLACE TO BE REINCARNATED INTO]

[*!*&@*]

[&2(@*@&]

[FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS]

[*@*@@]

[NO REINCARNATION *HEAVEN OR HELL]

'What kind of rigged shit is this?' I thought looking at my options.

[SHUT UP DUMBASS ITS MY FIRST TIME]

'DID THIS SYSTEM JUST CALL ME A DUMBASS?' I thought as I looked at the message.

[YEAH DUMBASS, JUST DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND PICK NEW VEGAS]

I'm not sure I like this system... Oh well, I do know New Vegas quite well

[YEAH THAT'S THE SPIRIT, DONT WORRY, ILL TAKE CARE OF YOU]

I'm not sure why but it felt as if the System puffed its chest out.

Sighing I clicked on the only option there. This is rigged

[OF COURSE IT IS]

Shut up