Chapter 8: Realization and confession

9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mark 10:9

As time passed, Zane and Hayley's friendship grew stronger to the point where one could say that their relationship became a lot more intimate than it was. Though Hayley was in denial over the idea of falling in love with Zane, she couldn't help but wonder if that was true. She only became of her feelings thanks to Lynne and Tasha.

2 weeks ago...

Hayley was just hanging out with her friends as usual when they decided to go to the mall again. Though this time, Zane and his friends weren't there to meet them, which made Hayley feel a bit sad as she was actually looking forward to meeting him. When they finished shopping (both window and actual), they decided to eat lunch at the food court like before. While they were eating lunch together, Hayley couldn't help but think over her conversation that she had with her aunt and cousin. Could I really be falling for Zane? She asked herself while deep in thought. Is it really that bad? Would mother even approve? Definitely not. She would straight up disown me should she find out that I have feelings for a boy. She made it very clear that I shouldn't fall in love or I'll risk getting my heart broken.

"Hayley?"

Even if I did have feelings for him, which I DON'T, would he even return them? Would I have to live with this secret for the rest of my life? Should I even tell anyone about my feelings? If so who?

"Hayley?"

But even so, what if Zane does have feelings for me though that may be impossible at this point. Oh no! What if he has feelings for Janine given that he knows her more than he knows me?! What do I do?! Obviously, I should stay on the side and let them be together but how do I deal with the impeding heartbreak and emotional devastation that will affect me in the future? What if I end up proving mother right?!

"HAYLEY!"

"AH!" Hayley shouted as she saw both Lynne and Tasha stare at her suspiciously, especially since she didn't really finish her meal that she ordered. "Uh hey guys. what's up?"

"You okay?" Lynne asked with concern. "Me and Tasha noticed that you haven't finished your meal? Is everything alright?"

"Uh oh yes!" Hayley claimed with the most forced grin she could muster. "I'm perfectly fine. Just thinking about my next assignments that's all I swear!"

But she knew that judging from their unimpressed expressions that neither of them bought her claim, thus prompting her to sigh before finally admitting the thing that had been bothering her for days.

"Fine I'll tell you," Hayley said as she began to show signs of blushing. "It has occurred to me that there is the SLIGHT possibility that I may or may not have developed certain feelings for Zane that may or may not be of a... romantic nature?"

After a brief pause, which wasn't that brief to be honest, the 2 girls across from her began laughing their heads off which embarrassed and annoyed Hayley to no end. It didn't help that they received a few curious or irritated looks from the others who were also at the food court.

"Hey! Why are you laughing at me?" Hayley demanded as she became more irritated the more they laughed until they eventually stopped.

"Oh Hayley," Lynne chuckled as she wiped a tear from her eye. "We already knew."

"Wait, YOU KNEW!?" Hayley asked in shock. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING!?"

"Too be fair, it was quite obvious from the way you look at him," Tasha added.

"But I didn't even like him when I first met him," Hayley pointed out.

"True but we saw how it happened over time," Lynne countered. "Ever since you started hanging out with Zane and Janine, it seems as though you can't stop talking about how amazing he is when it comes to his knowledge of that book series you love so much along with anything related to law and attorneys or whatever."

"Yeah but I could have been talking about anyone," Hayley tried to defend herself.

"Oh please," Tasha added with a smirk. "It's obvious to anyone who has good eyesight and an excellent judge of character that you are hopelessly in love with him."

"Hey I'm not hopeless!" Hayley angrily defended herself with her blush getting darker.

"Aw look she's blushing!" Lynne teased, causing Hayley to pout and become frustrated before rolling her eyes.

"Besides," Hayley added. "Even if I did confess my feelings to him, there's no way that Zane could ever possibly return my feelings."

"Really?" Lynne asked in surprise over Hayley's doubts. "Why is that?"

"Because he's in love with Janine," Hayley asked. "They're shown to be much closer to each other compared to me plus they're probably dating each other already and I'm just a third wheel to them."

Another pause happened before the girls began to laugh uproariously again only this time it was a tad bit louder than before. This made some customers leave in annoyance while others were more confused over what they could possibly be laughing about. After they stopped laughing, while trying to wipe the tears form their eyes.

"Oh Hayley," Tasha said with a giggle. "Janine and Zane have never been on a date nor have they ever been interested in each other like that. At all."

"Wait are you serious?" Hayley asked in genuine shock.

"Of course not," Tasha replied. "I've been a part of Tau Chi Zeta for months by now and I can assure you that I have never seen or heard Janine ever have a crush on anyone let alone go on a date with them. Besides, even if she DID find someone she was interested in she would have told me so."

"But what about her Saturdays with Zane at the café?" Hayley pointed out. "I mean, don't they... you know..."

"No Hayley for the last time they don't," Tasha reassured her. "They simply like to talk with each other over their favorite things. Zane and Janine seem to be the only students that can talk with each other over that book series and were genuinely happy to find out that you like them as much as they do."

"Still," Hayley said in doubt. "I mean, Janine is prettier and smarter than me plus she's a sorority leader thus making her Zane's equal. I couldn't measure up to that. Plus he's a fraternity leader too and I'm just a meager student. What could I possibly offer him?"

"Well you don't have to necessarily offer him anything," Lynne assured her friend. "Just tell him how you feel and be honest about your feelings?"

"But how?" Hayley asked. "How can I do that? I know ZILCH about romance plus there's the issue with my mother. I told you guys about what had occurred between my mother and father years back."

"Right," Tasha said as she and Lynne recalled the tragic and heartbreaking story of Hayley's parents and their nasty divorce which left Hayley devastated and traumatized. "But even so, Zane is different. I mean, he's a gentleman who has good skills and traits of his own that make him admirable. He's also quite handsome which is a cool bonus."

"I guess," Hayley responded. "But if I'm going to confess my feelings for him, I want it to be special and private without anyone watching and judging my every move."

"Hayley don't overthink it so much," Tasha assured her while placing a comforting hand on her palm. "I assure you, Zane would be lucky to have someone like you."

"Yeah and besides," Lynne added. "Zane could probably help you get out of your shell more and maybe even show your mother that not all men are slimeballs like she claims."

"Maybe," Hayley responded as she thought back to her aunt and cousin, with her aunt's words still floating through her mind and repeating itself. But is it REALLY something you want to do? That time, Latria asked her on whether she wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps and become a lonely and bitter woman for the rest of her life. As that question kept repeating itself to her, she debated with herself over whether she should take this chance. Should I go through with it and risk the possibility of breaking my heart and disappointing mother? Or maybe... I could risk this and see that maybe love isn't so bad after all. No, I believe I made up my mind a long time ago and I can't just back down especially since it's obvious at this point that my feelings for Zane are not nearly as platonic as I thought they were.

"Hayley?" Tasha asked. "You still there?"

"I'm gonna do it," Hayley said with determination.

"Do what exactly?" Lynne asked in curiosity before Hayley faced them with a determined expression.

"I'm going to tell Zane about my crush on him," Hayley said in a firm tone.

Another pause had occurred only this time instead of laughter, the girls ended up screaming and cheering happily for Hayley as they got up and walked around the table to pull her into the tightest group hug ever while cheering her on and showing their utmost support. Though there were others who became annoyed by their overly cheerful praises, the girls didn't care as they were too happy for Hayley to stop. Despite her embarrassment by how over-the-top her friends could be, she still appreciated their support and was happy to see that there were others outside of her aunt and cousin who encouraged her crush.

Present...

"Hayley, you still there?" Zane asked, causing Hayley to finally snap out of her flashback and blush in embarrassment.

"Oh uh sorry Zane," Hayley responded. "The room looks beautiful by the way."

"Thanks, me and the boys have been working on it for weeks," Zane said as he showed her the new lounge room he and his fraternity members had created in place of the old unused one they mentioned earlier. "We managed to move some of the furniture that we could use in here and are planning add more details to it. What else do you think we should add?"

"Huh?" Hayley said in response, unsure of what to say. "Oh um... I don't know... it already looks fine enough."

"Are you sure?" Zane asked with a raised eyebrow. "It's okay if you want to add more input to the layout."

"No it's not that," Hayley said. "There is however something that I've been meaning to tell you though. But first, do you mind closing the door but not locking it as I want it to be kept between us."

"Okay then," Zane said as he was a bit uncertain as to where this was going. He went to close the door like she asked but made sure to keep it unlocked (as it could only be locked on the inside of the room) before going back to Hayley. "Alright, Hayley what's going on? Did something happen to you? Is that why you're being so secretive?"

"Not exactly," Hayley said as she had trouble facing him and blushed. Why is it so hard to talk to him? Just say it damnit! "It's just that I.... I don't know how to tell you this without making you freak out or anything while also making it awkward between us should you not accept me."

"Look, as long as your secret does not involve you suddenly being a diabolical criminal I'll accept you no matter what," Zane assured her while trying to keep things from getting too tense.

"Even if it involves... you?" Hayley asked in uncertainty.

"Of course," Zane said as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Look, I know how you tend to overthink things and act paranoid at times but you can trust with whatever you need as long as it's not too dangerous or illegal."

"But what if I were to tell you that hypothetically speaking, I had.... certain feelings for you," Hayley asked, making Zane become silent as he stared at her.

"What?" he asked in a flat yet surprised tone.

"That's right," Hayley declared. "I'm in love with you and I don't mean that as simply seeing you as a friend but as someone who genuinely likes you as more than a friend."