A Wish 2

He knew that he had frightened her so, he could feel how nervous she was from the way she fiddled her fingers, but he really appreciated how she kept calm and composed like the Princess she was.

The silence between them stretch taut, and it wasn't until Ren Yupei couldn't bear it anymore did he asked. "Princess, what do you want me to do?"

Ouyang Xueqing sighed. "I am thinking."

"About what?"

"Brother Ren." She turned and looked him right in his eyes. That was the pair of eyes that she was so familiar with, not the unfeeling and cold eyes filled with murderous intent. She was struck by the feeling of familiarity so much that she felt her throat constricted. Her voice was raspy and her eyes glistening with tears. She had taken off her mask so her mismatch, peculiar yet breathtaking eyes were seen clearly. "Won't you tell me?"

He gulped. "About what?"

"Your pain, your suffering, your longing. Is it so hard to trust anyone? Can you let me share your burden?"

"Princess—" Ren Yupei's pupils dilated at the sight of the girl's wet eyes. "I—It's not like that."

She grumbled unstoppably, the words spilling from her mouth like a fountain. "Do you know how I feel when you were in that condition? I was sad and hurt. I wished that I could somehow soothe your suffering, or at least share your burden with you. Like how you always stay by my side and listen to me, won't you let me do that too?"

She tugged on his sleeves. Her voice was weak and almost begging. "Can you tell me?"

She could see the contradiction on his eyes as well as the turbulent emotions inside. His gentle and kind façade was peeled off, and there, Ouyang Xueqing could find his weak, fragile and tormented side. The rims of his eyes reddened and he lowered his gaze.

The strand of his hair fell down softly, covering his eyes from her. He whispered eventually. "It's not a happy story, though."

Ouyang Xueqing wiped her tears and nodded. "It's okay. Isn't it the purpose of you telling me, so that you can take the pain off your shoulder?"

Finally, his lips curled up. It was the first smile she had ever seen after he had woken up. Ouyang Xueqing found herself a comfortable position as she leaned against the wall and hugged her knees. She waited for him patiently.

"She—Little Song is, I mean, was my fiancée."

She had somehow guessed it. "Do you like her very much?"

"Yes." He agreed wholeheartedly. "I don't just like her, I love her. I love her as much as the pain I'm feeling now." He grasped the fabric on his chest and muttered. His voice were weak, almost like a whisper from the air.

Ouyang Xueqing stared out of the window. The sunlight from the window poured in on them and warmed the coldness in their body somehow. There was a faint choke coming from deep inside his chest and he cleared his throat. She didn't say anything, but he knew that she was listening.

"Do you remember when you asked me whether I have loved someone? I have, and the only one I will ever love in my life is her. Someday, someday you will understand where I'm coming from, Princess. When you don't want anything but her, when you saw her and found your whole world in her eyes, when her smile was enough to make you willing to sacrifice anything just for her to keep smiling."

"But then…" He gritted his teeth as a drop of tears trailed down his cheeks. "I couldn't do anything to save her."

Ouyang Xueqing asked carefully. "Did she…die?"

"Hmm."

She had always thought that Little Song had somehow left him for someone else, but she had never guessed that she was no longer in this world anymore. That's why, that's why he kept on dreaming about her. That's why he kept on calling her name.

She didn't truly understand the love that ran deep inside his veins because she hadn't felt anything like that before thus she didn't know why she felt a dull ache on her chest at that moment. But then, she suddenly recalled the woman in her dream who chose to die because she couldn't bear to live another second in the world without her beloved in it.

Thinking about that, she felt a pang of pain in her heart that made her took in a sharp breath. Without further thought, she reached out her arms and wound them around his neck as she hugged him tightly.

The man's shoulder were trembling and she felt a slight wetness on her shoulder. His arms that was hanging limp on his side slowly crawled up and embraced her back. Ouyang Xueqing closed her eyes as she felt her eyes burn. Tears dropped down her eyes when she heard him crying. She patted his back like how he had always done for her before.

"Thank you." She whispered. "Thank you for still being alive, Brother Ren. Thank you for not leaving."

How much suffering had he gone through without her?

How could he kept on living with this pain inside him?

She couldn't fathom it, and she couldn't imagine how it was to be him. If one day, she too found herself in such a situation, could she find enough will to keep on living?

***

After they made up and put the past behind, they had somehow returned to how they originally was. Ouyang Xueqing couldn't bear it anymore and pardoned herself to take a bath and sleep through the day in exhaustion.

It was not until the next day that she woke up by the birds chirping on her window. There wasn't anyone that knocked on her door to wake her up and she guessed that they had all colluded to give her some rest that she very much needed.

After a good night sleep, Ouyang Xueqing felt better and fresher than usual. She tidied herself up and planning to go out to fill her empty stomach as coincidentally, there was a knock on her door. "Princess." It was Ren Yupei's voice.

She opened the door and felt relief when she found him standing there, smiling at her gently. "Are you okay now?" She asked worriedly. "Why don't you rest for a few more days?"

"No." He chuckled. "I'm okay now. Thanks to you, An Zhengnan and Miss Ling."

Ouyang Xueqing's mouth twitched. She had somehow forgotten about Furball, and he hadn't made any sound for the day. She felt a little worried at the little guy. "Do you need something?"

"I am here to escort you to breakfast. We have all been waiting for you."

"Ah, okay." She nodded. "Can you give me a minute, please?"

"Sure." He agreed readily.

Ouyang Xueqing closed the door. And after making sure that he had gone a little far, she called in a whisper. "Furball? Furball, are you there?"

The little ball of hair popped out from the corner of her bed. He was so small that he almost blended into the white sheet and could be seen as a little inconspicuous speck of dust. He yawned. "What's wrong?"

"Furball!" She exclaimed in excitement and stroked his fur lovingly. "Good morning. You are adorable today as well."

"Stop! Stop harassing me!" Furball squirmed with all his might. He bounced around and screamed with his childish voice. "Go away!"

Ouyang Xueqing pouted her lips. "And here I am worried because you haven't made any sound since yesterday."

"I am sleeping, okay?! I need sleep!"

"But you have been sleeping the whole time!"

He argued unlike a sleepy beast he said he was. "Yeah, I have been sleeping for almost a thousand years, remember? I am still groggy!"

"Okay then." Ouyang Xueqing humphed. "To think that I am planning to feed you meat."

"Meat?!" His fur stood up as he bounced in front of her. "Really? Let's go! Let's go!"

"You said you're sleepy."

"I am not sleepy anymore! I am awake completely!" He jumped and settled onto Ouyang Xueqing's shoulder as he purred against her cheek fawningly. Her white robes were making him seem like a small fluffy decoration on her hair. She nodded as it didn't seem suspicious at all.

"Okay, let's go to eat some meat!"