I like the mystery of what happened to her sister. It is a good hook that makes the reader want to read more. Your writing is not perfect. You have small grammar mistakes here and there. When you introduce a new speaker, start a new line. That way it is easier for the reader to get it is a new person speaking and not the previous speaker. Overall it is not bad, and I may come back to read more.
Great start to a novel. A very interesting premise of a missing sister with a hidden society involved. Has definite potential for a long web serial. Writing quality is very clean, just a few typos here and there. Only area where I feel there could be more polishing is the dialogue tags, but I will entirely leave it up to the author to make their choice. Another humble suggestion from an amateur author like me is to outline the novel first, outline the smaller episode, and then outline the chapters. That way the pacing will be smooth and consistent throughout. Overall, a great, fun read. Keep it up, dear author and thank you for your hard work.
Not bad, not bad at all. In fact, the plot and pace are both good so far. I like your idea, its creative, as well as how the story is progressing. A small reminder though - maybe divide the paragraphs a bit more will help? The first two to three chapters were a little hard to read, but it got better later on, so I guess thats fine :). Overall, great work.