1 the first
*breath in breath out* u can do it, I say to myself softly wondering if anyone heard me. A slow silent breath gets released,the feeling of relief is finally back.
Today is my first day of high school. It may not seem like a big deal or anything but to me it is, I'm so small and smart for my age and I've always found it hard to fit in. I was never really excepted because of this. People would mock me and call me names but now I'm in a new environment, a new school, a new house ,and hopefully new friends. It's hard moving alot but you get used to it.
A few people tried to talk to me but they ran away when they heard me talk. They started asking me questions...very odd ones at that, it seemed like some of them didn't have common sense. They kept asking these questions it made me really uncomfortable because I felt like I wasn't human and they had never seen someone like me. I know I'm odd but I'm pretty sure that I am human.
I met a few new people who seem really nice they showed me around the school, took me to lunch and we just ended up talking most of the time. For someone like me I was impressed normally it would take me weeks to talk to someone and nobody would come near me so I was excited about this year. They are all so friendly but I know this isn't gonna last knowing myself they're all gonna hate me by the end of the month, not just my friends but probably the whole school, everything may see great now but nothing ever changes. It gets tiring after a while
The day went by so fast and the second day had come. I kinda got excited I couldn't contain myself. I got the hang of things and by the time a few weeks went by I had made friends no enemies yet and all smiles and laughs, it was fun to be excepted. This was the best, nobody has ever cared about me this much, it's amazing!
The weeks went on but they only had bad written on them. Rumors, lies and hatred spread faster than light flashed and sunk in like butter on bread. Everyone had turned on me. I only had my classmates to help me through all the pain. One of my most valued friends was the one who hurt me the most. He lied to me and won't talk to me.
Should I be stupid and run back with my tail between my legs should I just let it go, the fact that he thinks that would've been enough to kill me if I was 10 but now I have doubt and I've lost all my trust for people and the world. It's just filled with lies haters and pain. I just wish I could stop being so nïve and just stop believing that everyone is good if you let them be. Should I just walk away, chin held high, no tears in my eye. I'm so tired of being treated like a fool just because I love easily.
I'll survive, there are still people in my life who try to help me. I just wish the people I loved most would see that I love them and stop treating me like trash. I wish they would either stay alive, stay with me or love me back. Why can't I just be normal it may be weird but I'd rather be the person everyone ignores instead of the person everyone mocks, hurts, lies to...but I love being me I just wish the world would adapt to who I really am or do I still need to learn who I am?
