Teenage? Mental health? Anxiety?.... None of these things exists!

Teenage years are unquestionably the most awkward, challenging and frustrating years of a person's life. Yes, they're fighting for their independence and they occasionally play the role of grown-up really well on their good days, most days they're fighting an inner battle straddling childhood and adulthood. Imagine waking up and feeling sad, angry or irritable and not really knowing why? Teenagers are basically little kids in grown up bodies wanting to be understood and heard at the same time.

Chapter 1: You're a girl born in a typical middle-class Indian family.

In India, there is a weird culture of consoling the father after a girl is born. Normally people in our country want a boy first their so-called "Light of family". But in my case I was born first and being the first generation of kids (from my mother's side) I was loved the most by my maternal grandparents and family. As I grew up my mother pictured me as a perfect girl like a legit perfect girl, perfect in everything sports, academics, dance, etc, etc. Imagine being so much perfect at the age of 5! Ain't a hard thing for sure. I loved going to school and studying. As I entered 1st grade my brother was born or I'd say the 'happiness' of our family was born. I felt happy and sad at the same time. Why sad? Because I thought I would be loved less and would get less attention. Well, it was partially true. My parents started spending time with him more and I often felt left out. Imagine being the center of attention for years and suddenly that spotlight is snatched away from you! My brother was born a crybaby. He never wanted to meet and play with anyone other than mommy. On the other side, I loved interactions and even went to school happily which is very rare for a 3-year-old. As I grew up we shifted to a permanent new home, I was admitted to a new school when I was 8 years old. I fancied making friends and talking and studying and playing. I was still a brilliant student and even got a rank in the top 3! On the other side, my brother was repeating nursery cause he was very much shy to even tell his name during the admission tests. Being the eldest one, I was expected to keep my scores up and be perfect in every field because I was going to be the pillar of his life. Makes sense? Maybe or maybe not.

Indian parents believe that providing economical support is everything. No matter whether the child is going through a mental trauma they are like we are paying your school and tuition fees! We didn't even pay half of it when we were studying! The world has changed.

All I need sometimes is to be understood and heard. All I need is for my parents to stop focusing on the small stuff that doesn't even matter like not eating food on time or waking up a little late in the morning. I am just a kid in a growing body trying to figure out things and all I feel is not to be told what to do and how to do stuff. I barely know how to drive and make yummy snacks but all of a sudden I am loaded with the pressure of making life-changing decisions that I am surely not prepared for. I know that as parents your goal in life is to pass along every Life lesson you have learned lessons that will save guard and will remind me to be on the right path in life but sometimes your well-intended words of advice or lectures don't necessarily come as tender words of wisdom, sometimes it's like listening to nails on a chalkboard.