1 Chapter 1

As I was brought before the judge, I didn't blink an eye, I looked into his eyes and told him I was guilty, I fell inlove with my student, a student I was supposed to lead to the right path, I was supposed to teach him morals, instead I engaged in immoral act with him.

I still have no regrets because we love each other.

I know Mason loves me, though I made the first pass at me, it was only because he was still too young and may not bee bold enough to tell an older white lady of 27 that he was inlove.

As I stood infront of judge Alex, I knew he hated me, he hated my guts, someone like me was not needed in the field of learning, but still I had no regret.

"Miss Barbara, are you saying you feel very vomfiry, to tell it to my face, that you slept with your student, and you don't have any regrets? Judge Alex asked me, and I only smiled, he must really think I am joking, I have made up my mind to be truthful, for the love I have for Mason, I need not deny him infront of a total stranger, I guess what he wanted to hear from me is that I am sorry and did not mean it, but I could not say that, because if given a chance, I will definitely do it again.

"Have you ever fallen inlove? I asked him in return, that seem to throw him off balance as he gave up on trying to get me to speak differently, from what I have been saying.

When he did not respond, I added.

"I didn't think so".

Soon the private interrogation between me and the judge was over, he didn't have anything to say to me, he wanted me to say I was sorry for loving someone, but saying sorry only means I didn't want to continue, but I want to continue, I love Mason my 15 years old student, he was way younger  than I am but to me age is only but a number.

"This is Africa, your case will not end like these women, we will deal with you here, you will wish you never step your legs in this country again". I heard the judge say, and I wonder what stunt, he is trying to pull with me. O blinked my eyes severally and asked rhetorically.

"Is he threatening me? I watch him leave, with his eye fixated on mine, as he walked by. I couldn't tell, I looked into the old papers he dropped on the table, they all had the stories of teachers like me, who had also been involved with their student. The first one was.

Debra Lafave a Florida teacher who became notorious after having an affair with a 14-year-old student. 

I smiled because, I have read about her, it happened in 2005, I also learnt that the teacher was already married, but that is not the case with me, I am  very single, and  I am  not sleeping with him for fun, I am lnlove with him.

This Florida woman, probably never loved her husband, but I love Mason.

I didn't know her husband divorced her afterwards, but who wouldn't divorce a woman like that, It is obvious she doesn't love her husband, so she should be allowed to go and be with the person she loves.

The most scary part of everything I  am reading, is the fact that they all were face with a serious jail sentence.

She faced up to 30 years in prison.

"Thrity years is no joke". I thought and I prayed silently, but knowing how far this scandal have gone, I know help will come soon.

I smiled as I read what her attorney said. "To place Debbie into a Florida state women's penitentiary, to place an attractive young woman in that kind of hellhole, is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions." I could not agree less with the attorney, he sure knows what it means.

I was having fun in my predicament, as if nothing is wrong, I should totally be crying, but here I am, not being serious.

Reading what her husband went through, as the case went viral, I started to feel just what my parents would be thinking of me at the moment. I closed my eyes for the first time, thinking how crazy things have gotten for me. Sometimes I want to feel bad about what I have done, but thinking about it again, I really do not have such regrets, it is just the law,  seeing people less than 18 as minors, but what is the difference between the gap of 16 and 18 it doesn't change much.

The things that they have not learnt at 14, they will probably learn it at 16. Attimes, these kids even knows more than we are giving them credit for.

The next victim I read about was 

Mary Kay Letourneau who is 34 and married when she began her relationship with 12-year-old student Vili Fualaau. I started to give myself credit, atleast Mason is 15 going on 16, his body built does nitsuggest he is even that young, the way he acts is all mature. But this woman, sleeping with a 12 year old? That is so cliche.

I know this may sound like I am judging, but I am sure you can relate to, because, seeing Mason, even I had difficulty believing that he is that age.

I had asked him many times, during the time we were together, it was as if I knew this day would come, somehow, I was hoping he would tell me he only lied about his age because he wanted to get to school, but he remained untouched by it, he maintained, that it was his age.

I have also read sometime ago, about this sixth grade teacher, who had sex with her 12years old student, she started it in a car, thinking it will stop at just a kiss, but it did not stop at just kiss, they went even further, to doing some touching.

When the police found them, she had to lie immediately, saying the boy is 18, but a 12 years old will definitely act like that, just as Mason would always act like a minor sometimes, and if he wants to be mature, you will start to argue with your instincts.

She was charged for child rape. Letourneau pleaded guilty to child rape in exchange for a three-month jail sentence and probation. The judge approved the plea bargain on condition that Letourneau had no contact with Fualaau.

But love never stops, it is almost impossible for love to just stop there, which is why I believe age issues, should not be taken seriously.

She even got pregnant for her student, and that shocked me even more, she gave birth to a daughter at first, then she got out of prison, and again, the two were spotted in a car, the police once again arrested the teacher, for violation of parole, she was then sentences to six years. Their of and on relationship and reunion soon came to an end, when the student got to 21 years, he told the court that he is mature now, and needed to be with his wife, who happened to be his teacher, and taken that she already have two daughters for him, she gave birth to the second one in prison.

 She is 53 and he is 32. That is like.. what? 21 years different. Why are they making my case with Mason look like a serious abomination, when the age difference is not that serious.

Love is so beautiful, that it does not check numbers, and we really do not pick those we fall inlove with, we don't have a choice about them.

 The people that are making the affair thing an issue, are those that actually do abuse the fact that one can truely fall inlove.

I looked down at the long list of victims, I did not want to read any further, I could feel my eye ache.

I wish I could see Mason, coming from such wealthy family, I guess he grew too mature for his age already.

I started feeling sick, waiting for the police to come and take me back to my cell, felt like waiting for ever, it was as though Judge Alex, told him to leave me alone there for a while, not like they have been treating me badly, they have actually been really nice to me.

As I covered the paper, I closed my eyes, and I could feel the tears drop freely on my dress, I feel so lost again, it was happening again.

I hate closing my eyes, Bei whenever I close my eyes, I see my uncle Brady, coming on to me, touching me inappropriately.

I could not scream then, and I could not scream now, he was hunting me.

I hate the way he makes me feel, I feel I should totally scream, and call for help, but that feels like the most difficult thing to do at the time.

Who will I cry to? Who will I call on? I am a princess, I lived in a glass house, but surrounded by parents who thought giving me everything was all I needed, they forgot I needed them too.

They left their job to my uncle Brady to do, and he did more than I wanted orore than they wanted.

He was always threatening me that if I tell, that he would kill me, and no one would know, I tried to tell my motherany times, but her social class circle will not let her see me.

I opened my eyes, in a hurry, looking back at the news paper infront of me, I should not shut my eyes, I should totally read on, maybe that would get my mind off my uncle Brady, but as the inn, got all dark and quiet, I felt strange figures approaching me.

I knew I was only imagining things, I should not take what I see seriously, but I could not help it, I was scared.

Forcing my eyes to read more, I saw another teacher's story, she slept with three of her students.

"What? I almost screamed out loud. I started feeling like a saint where these sort of teachers are, though I should not be trying to justify what I did, I know that I could never feel sorry for loving Mason, unless, he doesn't want me anymore.

But maybe he doesn't want me anymore, since I got arrested, he had not tried coming to see me, atleast he is not the type that will allow them hold him back from doing what he wants to do, he is a man of his words, but somehow, he has refused to come to her.

His birthday is fast approaching, I want to celebrate with him, but I am in the prison and he is not here, I just hope he hasn't abandoned me.

I don't know if my heart will be able to take rejection from him, I love him too much to accept any form of rejection.

I know what I did might be seen as wrong in the eyes of people.

You all may want to judge me, but I really do not care, because, I have stopped caring about what the world thinks about me a long time ago.

The world never cares about me and right now, I don't care about the world.

For many years I cried for help, I wanted my father to hear my voice, I wanted him to see what his brother was doing to me under his roof, but he was too blinded by work and politics.

Even my uncle's wife, who was living at our boys quarters then with my uncle, most times I would cry and she would see me crying, but she would say nothing. The world shut their doors at me, and now they all want to judge me?

No one should judge me for loving a man, instead they should all go and judge themselves, for looking into my affairs.

why was there no one judging my uncle at the time, why are they trying to judge me now?.

Even after my uncle was discovered, nothing serious was done to him, Bei, it would be a disgrace to the family, instead I am the one that was made to go through hell.

I looked at the paper infront of me again and pushed it aside, it is funny how the world works, and the things they see as serious.

there are things that should be done in our society, but those things are not done.

people overlook so many things, making irrelevant things their problem.

since they did not notice me all those times, maybe they will notice me now.

Don't get me wrong, my parents are not all that bad, but when a parents fails to give attention to his child, then he would never be able to win that child.

children wants to feel bonded to their parents, so whatever I have become today, I still blame it on my parents.

right now, as I sat in the court inn, all I think about, is Mason.