1 Chapter 1 A Stupid War Filled with stupid people

[Before we being this Chapter is mainly her realizing what is going on and a summary of how the war went and I didn't use ' this chapter as this is all her thoughts]

Warm, my first thought upon gaining consciousness was warm not the irritating midsummer warm but the kind of warmth you feel when it's a cold winters night and you have a cup of hot chocolate I didn't know where I was or what was happening all I knew was that it was warm

The second thought came much later it was wondering where I was it was quickly followed by the third wondering what happened to me

Upon thinking about the third I remembered what happened I remembered the worst-case scenario playing out right in front of my eyes the feeling of being just one step away from victory only to lose it all I remembered by the end wondering what was even the point of continuing to fight and then I received news that the alliance was landing in the Francois Republic I half wanted to give up right there and then

The flight over the Republic felt like it took less than a second I'm sure it was because I was too caught up in my own head to feel the time passing and I'm also sure that's the reason I didn't sense them until they opened fire after that I barely remember what happened but I do remember what I felt and it was a deep bitterness that I had lost to that thing and then I remember casting no casting is not the right word I forced out an explosion that I'm sure killed everyone for kilometres and probability permanently changed the maps

Upon My memories catching up to me, I was confused had I not just died? This could be the afterlife or something like that but I definitely wouldn't belong in such a warm place even more so than that didn't Being-X say I would leave the reincarnation cycle and be erased or something along those lines if I didn't die a natural death or if I didn't have faith and neither of those conditions are fulfilled so I shouldn't even exist right now but I shouldn't be surprised you can always leave it up to Being-X to be incompetent

Looping back around to thought two where am I? I can't move, I can't speak, I can't do anything but think and feel and what do I even feel besides warm? I know I have all my limbs but they feel off. So am I alive or am I dead logic would dictate I am deaf after what happened but it would also say I am alive as I can feel and think

I need more information but in order to get more information I would need to open my eyes and move but if I could do that I wouldn't even be needing this information truly an annoying paradox

So what do I do no what can I do? I can't move, I can't hear, I can't see, I can't talk and I can't smell that just leaves me being able to think and feel but what can I find out with just that, hell right now it isn't even enough to figure if I am alive or not

Maybe I am looking at this wrong I know for a fact I died but right now I feel as though I am alive while normally both of these statements couldn't be true at the same time, there is a way for them to both be true and there is a precedent for it, reincarnation

But the one problem with the reincarnation theory is Being-X as he appears to be the only being with the capacity to reincarnate someone but if there was anyone in existence who wouldn't give me another life it would be him hence why it makes nearly no sense for this to be true but it is also the only theory that makes any sense given the information I have

So if it is reincarnation I am in the womb right now which is confusing considering I am conscious right now but

There is no point in continuing this line of thought it will just keep looping back around

What should I do? I haven't really been in a situation like this in years probably since before the war

The war huh… thinking back on it did we really have a chance to win in the first place?

After the Entente Alliance attacked I don't think we had a chance

The high command moved the main force to deal with the Entente Alliance leaving us in the perfect position for the Francois Republic to get rid of their old enemy then stuck in a two-front war, Dacia thought it would be their best chance to attack

Dealing with Dacia was easy all things considered but it was still a huge waste of resources better used elsewhere, then we dealt with the Entente Alliance same case as earlier it wasn't hugely difficult but it was still a huge waste of resources for the rest of the war and then after that, we conquered the Francois Republic but in an act of severe oversight let them get away but by then that didn't even matter as we terrified all the nearby countries into declaring war

The commonwealth had to be put on the back burner as we simply didn't have the navy to land troops but still, for the rest of the war their bombing runs would continually put a huge strain on the supply lines needed to wage war on two continents

Then the Russy Federation attacked we had been expecting it but even still we dreaded it. We managed to win battle after battle pushing back until we were halfway across the Federation operating on supply lines that barely just barely worked with the help of civilian fighters to maintain the garrisons. It was just about enough but each fight still took a miracle to win, even still we kept on winning until we were fighting on 3 continents. It was safe to say the only reason we hadn't completely fallen apart was through the combined effort of Hans von Zettour, Kurt von Rudersdorf, Maximilian Johann von Ugar, Erich von Rerugen and me Tanya von Degurechaff not exactly the best of situations for a global superpower to be in

Alas even this fragile stalemate we held was not meant to last as on July 18th 1928 The United States declared war on the Empire

Acting to ensure we had as few weaknesses as possible we forced an occupation of The kingdom of Ildoa as they were sending far too many messages to the US for us to be comfortable with

Quickly following that we pulled out all our troops from Africa to reinforce the mainland and to have some more leeway to move troops In case of emergency

The government and high command decided that we couldn't hold the front with our current troops so they instituted slave labour in all our held territories to produce more equipment and munitions as well as fulfil other non-combat roles and forcing POWs to do hard labour in military camps

They then removed the gender barrier for conscription and forced nearly every able-bodied adult to fight with all these acts the lines were manned and we just barely had enough equipment for everyone the empire was in a better state military-wise but near ruined in every other aspect too the point that winning the war might not even help

And when a combined army of the US, The Russy Federation, the commonwealth and more attacked surprisingly we held

The alliance aptly named The Alliance while strong didn't have many Soldiers who had actually fought in a war before whereas nearly every soldier of the empire had years of experience

So we held strong for 3 more years but then the cracks accumulated from 8 years of total war started showing and on August 12th 1931 The Alliance achieve their first major victory pushing us back barely a year later and we had been pushed back to the border of the Russy Federation but with such a small border and such little supply lines to man we held at the border

On November 26th 1932 the Alliance landed troops in the Kindom of Ildoa barely a month later we were pushed back to the border but similarly, we held as we had the mountains and easily supplied lines to support the line

February 5th 1933 we lost Dacia but we held at the border which was becoming a common theme

June 17th 1933 we were forced out of the territory of the Entente Alliance we had lost quite a lot of troops trying to get them across the water

By this stage in the war, we knew we were going to lose everyone did but we couldn't surrender as the terms were too horrible to even consider and the fact most of us would be hanged for what we did

It was a wonder how people didn't rebel I suspect it was because too many people had died in the war to just give up

And then on September 24th 1933, I received the order to buy time for the main army to arrive to deal with the army landing on the beaches of the Francois Republic truly the worst birthday present anyone could ask for

Just a few short hours later I was ambushed but before I died I used everything I could to cast an explosion spell as powerful as I could blowing up myself, the area around the beach and the beach crippiling the beach landing and buying high command enough time to deal with the situation as I did owe them

At the time of my death, I think somewhere from 110-130 million people died in the war more than any world war Earth had seen and it wasn't even over yet I think it was around a tenth of the world's population

Truly a stupid war and a mass waste of human resources and yet directly or otherwise I was responsible for a significant portion of those deaths

Hell I will probably go down as one of the most evil people in that world's history if not the worst as I was the one actually firebombing city's

Heh, it's kinda funny when I think about it because for them I would've been a 9 year old girl by the time the war started and by the end, I was only 19 not that I looked it either way I can imagine it now a hundred years from now a class will open their school books to learn about one of the most prolific killers in their world's history only to see a little girl

It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad and if it wasn't me

Haaah I really messed up didn't I

I went into that life with the goal of only surviving and maybe living a luxurious life if I could but instead, I spent the first ten years of my life in an underfunded orphanage and the other 10 years in a constant war

I've got to ask why? What did I do to deserve that? Was the crime of not believing in a being such as Being-X so great that I should be faced with such a punishment, hell was me not believing worth all those lives? If anything that life has solidified the fact that Being-X couldn't possibly be god.

What did I do to deserve that?

What did the people I killed do to deserve that?

Being-X is just an idiotic arrogant piece of trash that is worth less than a dog

This worl-no this reality is disappointing people constantly acting out on emotions even when it defies logic and a wretched being controlling them

There isn't really a point in continuing this line of thought the only thing I could gain is some emotional relief and if I acted on emotion id be no better than them, no better than a wild beast

Chapter 1 end