Preparing to leave (1)

My heart felt like it would come out of my chest and when I tried to turn around and hit him he entangled me in his embrace. I was completely unable to move but I was not someone who would accept defeat so I still tried to struggle my way out, he smirked and finally spoke when he had seen me struggle enough "Are you done?"

His voice was scary and resonated in my ear and I finally stopped struggling to have him speak again "Good girl, now agree do as I say and I will let you go now."

I stood there for a while not knowing how to respond. I was scared of something that I didn't have the guts to face for so long was being forced on me. I could not agree to whatever he said like this, I was not prepared or rather I was not ready to accept that he was right.

I closed my eyes and spoke in a tone that shocked me too because I had never been emotional in front of anyone, no one had seen this side of me "Please don't make me go back, I feel scared."

He looked at me and maybe his gaze turned soft, I could not see clearly because my eyes were filled with tears which I wanted to hide so I quickly looked to the floor. 

James let go of the tight grip around me and then turned me around to hug me tight, he placed a kiss on my forehead and it made me feel as if I could leave all my worries to him, I could forget about everything and melt down. He gave me a sense of security which I could not let go and I began to cry in front of someone for the first time in my life.

He did not say anything and just hugged me until I calmed down by myself and his shirt was soaked wet with my tears. He looked at me and creased my cheek then without another word took me back to my room. 

I went to lie on the bed not in the position to face him but as always he was not ready to let go of me so he came lie behind me and hugged me from back and this was the first time I didn't resist his touch since the time we had come back the he slowly whispered in my ear "I am sorry for forcing you earlier, I know it must have been something too hard on you to make the decision of not going back but I was really feeling helpless when I knew that he has come back and he is way stronger and as he is after you, it is even more scarier."

I was feeling emotional and it felt like if I spoke instantly, I would definitely cry so I didn't speak for a while and calmed myself down then said in a very low tone that was only audible to him because he was that close to me "I can just stay here, practice and even learn new things."

He didn't say anything for a while and by his grip around my waist, I understood that he was angered by my words but he was trying  to Calm himself down before speaking again. After a lot of thought he finally said "You know what you are saying is not going to make you any stronger but let's come to an agreement with something that I have come up with. I will accompany you to that place and you will at least try to adjust for two days, if you feel uncomfortable or not fine I will bring you back. I mean to say that I will bring you back the minute you are unhappy."

His words were like honey trap slowly sucking me in and this trap of his was in fact luring so I thought for a while and said "Fine, we will go in 2 days because before that I will have to buy the tickets and get the things that I will be requiring there."

He nodded "Good, now go to sleep, tomorrow we have to start with the shopping and you should be well rested."

I nodded and then went off to sleep my dreams again shifted to my past memories causing a nightmare and making me restless in my sleep but then as if James felt my uneasiness he hugged me closer to his chest making me feel comfortable and I finally slept well rested for the rest of the night.