A SFW Snip 2: Definitely (un)planned

"W-Wait, this- this isn't-"

"You signed papers," Scathach muttered flatly, showing some documentation that I wasn't aware of. Or, at the moment, I didn't remember as I think I may have seen those before.

The action stopped, with Lucy picking up the files herself and reading those after putting on some glasses to heighten her sight.

"'I, Joseph, King of Britannia, and Husband to the most Amazing and Humbled Queen, Lady Myasviel First of her Name, thereby declare that I shall accept seduction offer from those that have passed the queen's tests to gauge loyalty, preparation and tact within paperwork duty whenever necessary,'" Lucy started to read out loud. "'Thus, by royal decree, I shall accept the queen's advice when it is a matter of emergency such as keeping up with the stress of kingship that normally marriage would deal with in case the queen is capable of fitting the duty. However, if the queen is unable to stand up for the duty, she can muster one or multiple individuals to replace her in the bedchambers' duties. Post Scriptum: I ain't drunk, you are!'"

"The decree is quite clear," Scathach remarked with a smug look. "Your fate is sealed, Joseph. Just accept it!"

"...Okay."

"Rejecting us now is- wait, what?" Lucy tried to come back at me but paused as she heard my resignation. Her glance now aimed at the puzzled former queen. "He is just accepting it like that."

"I mean, as a King I'm expected to be more careful when I'm drunk, so I guess that's on me. I should have been more careful," I replied calmly, yet feeling a bit nervous as the lance-wielding woman standing over us looked less pleased with that answer.

"...Wait, something isn't right," Scathach muttered with a confused tone. "You never drink enough to get drunk. So that whole thing about being drunk during the signing of that paper is a lie."

"I didn't say I was drunk because of alcohol. I was drunk for love," I replied as cheesily as possible. "Plus, Mya told me she had plans to use it only for cuddles-related affairs."

"Another lie, Mya told us that there was no innuendo within that paperwork," Lucy replied this time around, eyes narrowing on me. "You… you wanted this to happen."

"The letters, the conversations about this situation- he..." Scathach's eyes widened as she realized what was up. "You planned all of this?!"

"...I don't know what you're talking about," I replied weakly.

"You planted hints and clues for us to see and notice through our investigation. You led us to the documents, Mya specifically told us about the papers and the letters, and then you let yourself be caught in such a manner," Scathach responded strongly. "What do you have to say about yourself?

"All correct minus the Mya's bit. I actually didn't tell her to do that," I admitted. "In fact, she also wanted that to happen on her own."

"This- this is..." Lucy commented, failing to come up with words. Then Scathach spoke again.

"Not going to change anything," The woman replied with determination. "It's sure intriguing, but the end goal is the same. Except now we shall make sure you pay for tricking us like that. Prepare yourself for it, Joseph!"

I just giggled at that. Ah yes, my real plan was coming to fruition. Yes, I knew it would have happened so earnestly, but I had also gotten through this idea with the notion of having them both work to do their best about it rather than just be hopeful to give something and expect for it to work.

"Love you two~," I hummed, stunning both at once.

"Love you too," Scathach muttered back, blushing at the genuine comment.

"Love you too, daddy," Lucy hummed, getting groans from both at the nickname. "What? I didn't say anything wrong?"

"Be quiet and do what I say, depraved pest," Scathach rebuked in frustration as she shoved the redhead against the confusing king that was Joseph.

At least they ended up getting all they wanted out of this most unusual situation. But the way this came to be? Very bizarre to say the least.