43 | 41st

"Welcome back!", Yoongi greeted the rest of his band members as he opened the  door of the apartment.

"Why didn't you come pick us up?", Jimin asked and pouted.

Yoongi just shrugged his shoulders.

They didn't need to know that Alejandro had left just five minutes ago. He wouldn't be surprised if they'd just met him in the elevator.

"I am really excited to see what you've been working on Yoongi, but if that's okay with you, I'll get a good nights sleep first", Namjoon said and patted his shoulder.

"All good."

"I'll cook something for us if y'all want."

"Really nice of you, but I'm very tired, I'll go to bed now, and the other members ate in the airplane already. But the offer's appreciated", Joon answered.

"Oh alright then", Yoongi said, "I'll let you settle in."

As he was back in his room, he laid onto his mattress immediately and took a pillow into his arms.

It smelled like Alejandro. He had slept on this pillow the last two nights, of course it smelled like him.

Normally Yoongi wouldn't seek affection from someone, especially not someone he'd just met. But he felt lonely. And he didn't know how to make the feeling go away.

He was on and on to text him.

But thinking about it, it was dumb.

Alejandro had just left. It was foolish to think he'd want to see Yoongi again right now.

He sighed.

And of course he didn't do anything for work, nothing in the whole past days, he'd accomplished.

Namjoon was excited to see it and Yoongi didn't have anything to show.

His paper sheets were empty, his program still at the last update from five days ago.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why would he do this to himself anyway?

It was as if he couldn't live with the pressure but he also couldn't live without it.

Someone knocked on his door.

"What?"

"It's me, Hoseok. Can we talk?"

"Of course, come in."

Yoongi sat up, quickly wiped away the single tear that had managed to escape from his eye.

"What's up? Is there something I can do for you?"

Hoseok smiled as he sat down.

"No, I'm okay. Is there something I can do for you instead?"

Yoongi looked down.

"No, I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine. Talk to me. I can almost hear your thoughts going on and on..."

Yoongi sighed once more.

"Alright. I didn't work while you were in America."

Hoseok raised his eyebrows.

"That's all? I thought you'd say, you burned a building or got someone pregnant", he laughed.

"Mm", Yoongi made until he felt goosebumps creep over his body.

Did they-?

He tried remembering if he slipped a condom on or off after he had sex with that married woman some days ago.

He had every detail on his mind but he couldn't find that specific moment.

Goddammit, fuck.

"Hoseok, I- had sex with a few people these past days and-"

"Oh no. And you forgot to use protection, is that it?"

Yoongi nodded slowly and looked up.

"Did you make her sign the papers??" "What papers?", Yoongi asked.

"The papers that she is not allowed to tell anyone what you two did! She could sue you now, Yoongi!"

"Oh fuck-"

"Okay listen. As long as she just forgets about you, you're gonna be fine. Now don't beat yourself up about it, shit happens. You should tell Namjoon beforehand though, so you're prepared in case she does bring it up again."

Yoongi sighed.

"I guess i don't have a choice."

"Anyway, how was America?", he asked.

"Oh well, it was nice. Except for Taehyung and Jungkooks breakup tho. That came pretty random. They kept on fighting nonstop, it was really exhausting."

"I believe", Yoongi chuckled.

"What?"

"Can I let you in on a little secret?", he asked.