Chapter 7

The walk from the town of Blue Rivers to the caves was about two miles, but as we hiked closer to the mountain the terrain became steeper. I had gone to the caves a few times as a kid while hiking with my dad and Max. Max and I would explore the cave, avoiding the larger caves in favor of the smaller caves that only children could comfortably explore. Less than a half mile from the caves was the waterfall which fed the river that our town was named after. After dirtying ourselves in our expedition of the caves, we would race to the falls to wash ourselves and play in the water. Although there is a current near the falls, it is much quieter than the current further down river closer to town. Jason carries me up a rocky path to the mouth of a cave. The entree way of the cave is bigger than a door way. He walks though the cave which resembled a dark hallway. I could see anything until Jason pull back a curtain at the end of the tunnel, revealing a much larger cavern within. The Cave was adorned with solar power string lights that had become popular amongst students in our grade. A dingy mattress was laid in the far corner of the room, covered in thick blankets. Many of the walls and the floor were also covered in blankets, perhaps to keep heat in and make the cave more comfortable. I frown and look up at him. "How long have you been living here" I whisper, hoping that he doesn't assume that I pity him. "A while" he responds, placing me on the mattress. Despite my concern and curiosity, I bit my tongue and instead say, "Thank you. For carrying me and letting me stay with you". He only nods and goes rummaging through a bin at the other side of the cave. He pulls out a handful of protein bars and sit on the mattress besides me. "Eat. It'll be dark soon. I'm going to wash up at the falls and bring back some water." He said gruffly as stands up again. I nod, which is the only thing I can bring myself to do as exhaustion sweeps over me once again. I watch as he peels off his shirt and grabs a towel from another bin at the far side of the room. I stare at the jagged scars running down his muscled back and torso. The sight makes me want to vomit again but I don't have anything left in my stomach. Instead I let out a horrified gasp, and regret it almost instantly. I never thought that I was insensitive or clueless of other's feelings despite my temper, but it the face of the horror carved into his flesh, my mind went blank, oblivious to how my reaction may hurt him even more. He turn to me and for the first time his icy exterior broke into pure panic, although only for a moment. He quickly draped his towel over his shoulders and said "Don't look at me you pervert." He turned to walk away, but I felt an overwhelming urge to follow him. To hold him like he held me last night. To feel all the pain this broken world has left us with together rather than face it alone. He is already outside the cave while I tried to hobble up from the mattress and make my way towards the exit. I push myself forward, suddenly desperate to reach him. Desperate to apologize. Desperate to make him stay so that I wouldn't be alone with only the ghost of my former life as company. I stumble and fall about halfway to the exit. Too far from the exit, and too far to return to the mattress, I let out a loud cry of desperation which evolved into an all consuming sob. I try to stop, to quiet my howls of grief and despair but if I close my mouth it feels like I'm choking, like I'm drowning, so I just let it out, no longer worrying if Jason, or the trees or the mountain can hear me. I lay pitifully in the middle of the floor curled on my left side until I cry myself to sleep. Crying for him, crying for me, crying for the world that will never exist again.