Epilogue 

The day is August 5th, almost 2 months since Melanie and I first washed up onto the deserted island. It just so happened to be the second day we came back from the island as well. Back to real life now, back to norma…

"Yo bartender, a Bloody Mary please."

Well, not quite fully normal yet. There's still about a month of summer vacation left, another month of bartending on the Suwi cruise line.

"Coming right up…" I said begrudgingly preparing the order for the blonde former delinquent in front of me.

"Without hot sauce this time if you will,"

In order to fulfill Paula's wish of erasing all of her criminal records, a memory wipe had to apparently be done on everyone who knew her except us. Thus when we came back from the island, it would seem to everyone else that none of us had left and we had spent the last 2 months on the cruise line… with a couple of changes.

"Can you grab me the tomato juice Fiona?"

Standing next to me and nodding was the red haired android with a blank expression on her face. She leaned down and handed me the tomato juice in the refrigerator.

"So toots," Paula said giving her a wink and leaning in close to her, "how's it feel having a soul and human emotions now? Does the sight of me make your heart pound like an actual human?"

"Humanity was a mistake,"

As I made Paula her drink and handed it to her, a middle aged man with black hair came into the bar.

"Paula, why are you here? Aren't you supposed to keep an eye on Melanie?"

"No, why would I do that?" Paula asked taking a sip of her drink, "It's not like I'm her body guard or anything, just her friend."

"Right…" Mr. Suwi said taken a back, "Huh, yeah, why did I think you were?"

"I think she's in her room Mr. Suwi," I said, "Probably excited to see the exotic island soon."

"Oh that's right, we land in a couple hours don't we? My how she's grown, you know she's always been quite the survival enthusiast?"

"Really? Did you ever allow her to explore that interest?"

"Well, to tell you the truth Xavier, we were always too worried she'd hurt herself if we did. She's quite the fragile girl you know. But we do think it's time we let her spread her wings a little now that she's 21 and ready to go on an actual adventure. That's what this part of the cruise is all about! Wait a minute… when did we even add this part in?"

"Ah haha, glad to hear," I said with a smile, "I'm sure you just conveniently forgot."

"Yeah, funny how that works," Paula said rolling her eyes, "It's as if some simp made a wish to…"

**Bam**

Before she could finish her sentence, Fiona delivered a kick to Paula's shin.

"Oww…"

"You're a bigger one,"

A beeping sound suddenly came from Mr. Suwi's pocket. He pulled out his smart phone to read the message sent to him.

"Fiona, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure,"

"It appears my daughter is in need of some wine right now. Could you take a bottle over to…"

"No,"

"…"

"…"

"Uhh… okay but…"

"Xavier will,"

Mr. Suwi looked over at me as my face turned a bit red.

"Okay… Xavier then, can you take a bottle of red wine to Melanie's room? Its room number …"

"299?"

"Why yes actually," Mr. Suwi replied in astonishment. "How did you know that?"

"Pretty sus Dipsh… Xavier," Paula said finishing her drink.

"Lucky guess?"

"You're not doing anything funny at night with her are you?" Mr. Suwi asked looking at me suspiciously.

"No no of cour…"

"Pshhhh as if a virgin like him wouoowwwwwwwwwwww"

This time Fiona stepped on Paula's barefoot.

"You're a virgin too,"

"True, you trying to change that toots?" Paula said holding her foot.

"I'd rather sleep with a clown."

"Uhh… okay," Mr. Suwi said awkwardly turning his attention away from them, "In any case, could you take a bottle of wine to her room Xavier?"

"No problem Mr. Suwi!" I said grabbing a bottle from a cabinet in the bar and heading towards Melanie's room. No heavy storms this time, just a calm sunny afternoon.

I gave her door a knock. No response.

"Melanie you in there?"

No response again. However, faintly I could hear the sound of computer keys rapidly typing. Quietly, I turned the knob handle and entered her room to notice she had her headphones on and was typing something in a word document on her laptop.

"And then, as if a loyal dog to his survival master, Melo, Xander jumped into the ocean to save his true beloved"

"Melanie, what are you writing?"

"Xavier!" Melanie said panicking as she quickly closed the word document and turned to me, "It's uhhh… nothing, nothing at all. Just uhh… some guide for adventuring! We land soon don't we? Better prepare for that with a checklist."

"Why does the document title there say, 'real life self-insert story BL version?'"

"Oh that?" Melanie said quickly closing all her folders, "Ahahaha, funny you should ask, I'm also writing a story about uhh… knitting?"

"Right…"

Her face turned red as I placed the wine bottle on her desk as I stood right in front of her.

"Hey Xavier?"

"Yes Melanie?"

"Thanks"

"For?"

"For everything, saving me, dealing with my shenanigans on the island, and even spending your one wish to do something nice for me. You're really awesome you know that?"

A smug smile appeared on my face.

"What…? Why are you looking at me like that?" she said fully flustered at this point, "You're still my assistant though you hear! When we get on the island, I expect you to do everything I instruct you to! A survival extraordinare's assistant must prepare for every situation!"

"Right right master," I said giving her a pat on the head. She looked down at the ground still blushing heavily.

Jeez, what a simp.

The End

Xavier: Wait what? Why are we still here? The book literally had a "The End" line already. Why is another chapter coming out over a year after initial publishing?

Melanie: No silly! We still have to do promotions for the next book! Also the new readers won't even notice.

Xavier: What…

Fiona: Hurray, sequel.

Melanie: That's right! Now available on Webnovel and other publishing platforms, it's "Stuck on Another Island with My Boss's Daughter", this time with 2x the BL content.

Paula: Links below. Read this one too you degenerate!

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CG9VNWFZ

Webnovel: https://www.webnovel.com/book/stuck-on-another-island-with-my-boss's-daughter_27268377405975105

Xavier: I don't think we're advertising this correctly. Is insulting the readers really a good idea?

Paula: Why not? We're all degenerates at the end of the day. And in that we share a bond.

Melanie: Especially you Xavier! You left your computer on in your room during work hours and Fiona and I had a quick glance!

Xavier: Wait, what?

Fiona: Many VTubers.

Xavier: Ye… yeah. What's wrong with that? It's an up and coming trend that doesn't harm anyone. I just like watching cute girls doing cute things, okay!

Fiona: VTuber hentai.

Xavier: …okay, I can explain.

Paula: Don't worry Xavgenerate, I'll distract them with another link. Visit Kinoren.com to sign up for a free newsletter. In it you'll receive free stuff like promotions, short stories with us in it, and Fiona's bathwater.

Fiona: Burn in hell.

Xavier: I'm pretty sure we can't do that last one because Fiona's you know… not a real person. She's an android who doesn't need baths.

Melanie: Tsk tsk Xavier, did you forget the ending already?

Fiona: Humanity was a mistake.

Paula: Nah, but Xavier's right. That was just bait; we can't actually give out toot's bath water. Everyone knows Canadians cleanse themselves with dry ice which doesn't produce liquid. The other two things will be included though!

Xavier: I highly doubt anyone will sign up anyway. I think Kino just paid $50 to have a random dude on Fivver design a basic, shitty layout WordPress page. I really got to scroll to the bottom of this to enter my email?

(Author's Note: FML, Even after hours of YouTube tutorials, this shit is too hard to figure out.)

Melanie: Yeah… it definitely needs some work. In the meantime, you can also send Kino a direct email message to his email: Kinorenwriting@gmail.com to add your email to the list of people receiving the newsletter! Is it even a newsletter if it just contains promos and short stories though? Whatever, you'll be receiving those thingies.

Paula: Yep! And when you send the email, you can write whatever you want. You can say "hi," or "Wow, what a great novel. I really liked that Paula girl, she's best." or even, "That was the absolute worst story I have ever read in my entire life you unoriginal hack. You're the reason we still have starvation, global warming, and celebrity culture. Also you ruined Christmas". Whatever you send, we'll add you to the email list for the newsletter.

Xavier: Wait, has anyone ever actually sent that last message?

Fiona: I did. To Paula.

Paula: Ahaha classic.

Melanie: Alright that's everything bye!

The Actual En…

Xavier: WAIT! That's it?

Paula: Yeah? What's the problem? I'll update everyone if I ever actually get some of that sweet sweet Fiona bathwater.

Fiona: Kys.

Xavier: No but like… shouldn't we thank some people? Such as the readers who spent their hard earned money just to read about us degenerates.

Paula: I mean, floor's yours then Xavgrateful.

Xavier: Uh alright. Thank you everyone who took the time to read this book as well as everyone who supported the author. With all the problems in the world, I hope we were able to brighten your day with some laughs. We hope to entertain you more in the future as well.

Melanie: Mmm… not bad Xavier. But the BL story I read yesterday did a better job giving thanks.

Xavier: What! Fine, you say a better thanks then.

Melanie: I'd like to thank ancient Greek culture, as well as California, Sweden, and Tumblr!

Xavier: …

Paula: Personally, there's only one person I'd like to thank!

Xavier: Please don't say yourself.

Paula: Personally, there are two people I'd like to thank!

Xavier: … alright so who's the other?

Paula: Satoshi Tajiri.

Xavier: … yeah that's pretty fair. Alright Fiona, what about you? Who would you like to thank?

Fiona: Adderall.

Xavier: Come again.

Fiona: Maple Syrup.

Ned: WHY ARE YOU DIPSHITS STILL HERE? GO, SCRAM, WE HAVE TO SET UP FOR THE NEW "SILLY HUMANS" SEASON.

Xavier: What the fuck, Ned? When did you…

NED: OH AND SHOUT OUT TO THE COVER DESIGNER. AMAZING DUDE, LINK TO HIS PAGE HERE:

Link: https://www.fiverr.com/linfantasi

Ned: NOW HURRY UP XAVSHIT. LIE DOWN ON THE GROUND AND LET PAULA STEP ON YOU LIKE SOME SORT OF FEMDOM FANTASY.

Xavier: I…

Ned: LINKS TO THE SEQUAL ONCE AGAIN BELOW! LATER DIPSHITS.

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CG9VNWFZ

Webnovel: https://www.webnovel.com/book/stuck-on-another-island-with-my-boss's-daughter_27268377405975105

The Actual End.