Unwanted Feelings

Nash closed carefully the door behind him as he left, leaving Astor on the balcony, staring at the endless city lights. The blond werewolf walked downstairs and passed his boss. Ren was swearing before he threw his phone off the window, an annoyed expression on his face as he puffed his chest before letting out a sigh. That was sign enough for him to not approach. He was planning to talk to him about Astor, to ask him not to be so rough on him, so sharp even though he understood he wasn't the best person to preach, his cold exterior had been commented on by many after all and he was self-aware enough to be able to see how he treated people and how others saw him. He didn't really mind though, that was who he was after all. 

Changing his course once more he found himself up the stairs, his heavy boots making him drag his feet on the wooden floor of their room. He shared an apartment-like space with his sister, making sure their rooms were as far away from each other as possible. Sometimes he couldn't stand her constant talking, times like now. 

The girl jumped in front of him, her brown eyes squeezed as she pointed a finger at him. 

"What?" he asked her, almost a hundred percent sure he was going to hear something utterly stupid. Niss looked around before she spoke, she didn't want anyone to hear them. Grabbing her brother's wrist she dragged him into her room, closing well the door and pushing him to sit on her bed. "What do you want? Spill it." he repeated. 

She stood before him with her hands on her waist, patting her foot on the floor. 

"I saw that."

"You saw what?" 

"You smiled at him. You were kind to him and even went to his room." she described the situation with Astor. 

"And? Am I not allowed to?" he asked her. Niss scoffed, thinking he was playing stupid. 

"You are my brother. I know you better than anyone. You like him." 

"He is alright." 

"Nash!" Niss called his name loudly, staring at him with a strict expression. Her always excited eyes though were hiding something else though, she was worried about her brother. 

"What do you want me to tell you?" Nash asked her. 

"How do you feel? When did it begin? How serious is it?"

"I…I don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"Do I look like I care?" nash sighed, falling back on his sister's bed and looking at the ceiling, he couldn't look at her while he talked, he felt embarrassed about it and more importantly he felt bad, as if what he was going to confess was a mistake, a wrong deed. It was decorated with little stars. Those plastic ones that shone in the dark all little kids had. Some of them had fallen, leaving just a trace of their shape, no more light. 

"When we tended his wounds in the forest. No, maybe even before that…" he mumbled, trying to gather his thoughts. "I thought it was weird to be treated like that and still be nice. Your soul must be crushed but somehow he remains kind. Can you believe they used to call him a freak? I mean…have you seen him?" Nash asked. 

"He is very beautiful but don't let that fool you." 

"I know…I know…that's what I thought at first, that maybe this was because he was so different but…"

"But?" 

"I keep finding myself wanting to protect him. He grabbed my hand today and told me that he feels safe around me. No one has ever told me that. We always feel like threats wherever we go so I just couldn't help but smile. If the moon had a form I am sure it would look like him." Nash mumbled, placing his arm in front of his eyes, hiding his face. 

"You know this is bad." Niss told him, waking him up from his daydream.

"I know."

"You know he will kill you. You know that he is not really kind. You know that if you mess this up in any way he won't hesitate to slit our throat and I won't be able to do anything about it because the moon…"

"I know. I know Niss. I know all of that so please let me be. I won't do anything, I swear." 

"Please." his sister begged him. "Don't do anything stupid."

"No one would do anything stupid over a simple crush."

"Is it just that?" 

Yes, do not worry so much but Niss…I want to protect him. Crush or not. Even from him if I have to." 

"You will, we will. I promise." she said, taking her brother's hand on hers and smiling. "Now how about you help me pick a dress for the party!" she said excitedly as she walked towards her closet. It was painted white with pretty little pink daisies on the front. She opened it to reveal a closet almost overflowing with clothes. 

"No. Nope. Never." Nash said, immediately sitting up and rushing to the door. Confessing everything he felt, that was acceptable. Talking about clothes with his sister, never done it and never will.