1 Hatred of love

Every evening, sitting at the shore of the sea, listening to the waves and their overlapping storm, the sky with its colors makes my evening memorable. It really isn't lovely or better staying there alone, but having someone next to you. Someone with whom you worth spending your life. Someone you can truly die for.

 Many people read love as the easiest thing, but they fall into the trap of lust. When you lust after someone, you may not get affected, but when your love is agape, you sure have to fight it up to the end because it won't be easy. My thorns are on the road, and they sting a lot when they pierce into your body. Have you ever wondered what hurts the most about love? Memories. The memories you made with your love. The memories of pain, happiness, and sadness. Love has to do with the mind, just as memories do. The other one that serves as a brother to memories is thoughts. This is really the confirmation of whether you are in love or in lust. The more you think, the more doubts you create, and just a little bit of pressure from either friends or family, you lose your love. Love is the easiest thing in life but also the hardest.

 Back in my teens, I tried to mingle with girls just as my friends do, but it was really hard for me. Being alone and lonely had become a habit for me. Although I had a friend who tried to help me out with mingling with girls, I dismissed all his attempts and opinions as failures. Sometimes, he would tell me how I would ever get married in the future. I would reply to him by saying that if I couldn't find a wife, I would just remain a bachelor throughout my life. It's not that I don't want to mingle with girls, but the fact that I didn't receive maternal care has been a problem for me. My father was so wealthy that he bought me a new house when he planned to get married to another woman. According to what I have heard throughout my upbringing, my mother left me with my father because he had no money. My father made sure he spent his last penny on me to succeed in life and look good, just like other children. It was really tough for him back then, and he often stated that the worst mistake he made in his life was loving and marrying someone. He would have been happier if he had died as a poor bachelor rather than dying poor and leaving his son in this ruthless world without someone to take care of him.

After four years, my father met his longtime friend who knew him when he was still with my mother. He narrated everything that had happened to his friend, tears dropping down his cheeks. I couldn't withstand my father's tears, so I joined him in crying, but secretly because I didn't want him to see me. It would have caused him great pain. His friend gave my dad a million dollars to start a business and live like a king, with a deal of repaying him after a decade. My father was surprised and didn't know what to do, so he remained silent for ten minutes. He thanked his friend for the opportunity he had given him and promised to repay him. My father started a business and grew it within two years. Throughout all of this, he included me in every step he took, even though I couldn't understand them at the time. He repaid his friend in just five years, and after that, our lives went through a significant transformation. I was able to mingle with other children, unlike before when they would criticize me for being a poor man's child. I used to get bullied a lot back then, but this transformation allowed me to rise above the bullies. Although I was small, I learned that money answers all things. 

 I was sixteen years old when my dad called me and sat me down. At first, he apologized for the statement he had to make. I vividly remember what he said - he was going to marry another woman. I agreed to it and was actually happy because I thought I would finally have a mother figure in my life. However, my dad didn't agree with me living with him and his new wife. I wasn't happy about it, but my dad's words calmed me down. He told me to look back at all the hardships we had been through and what if his new wife would mistreat me, just like we see in movies. I answered him confidently that she couldn't, because a woman who loves him would also love me. He said something that I would never forget - now that he's wealthy, he wondered if his new wife would be happy seeing me inherit his property after his death. He believed that no woman loved a man deeply, but rather always loved his money, just like my mom did.After this conversation, I agreed to live alone because I was now a grown-up teenager. All these incidents made me despise women altogether. I distinctly remember my favorite artist at that time was Eminem. I made him my favorite artist after learning the full meaning of his name, "Every Mother Is Nice Except Mine." This resonated with me deeply because I felt like we were going through the same situation. My dad would never let me spend much time with his new wife, and he still paid attention to me as he did before. He would often tell me that if he had a daughter, he would make sure she didn't care about a man's money but would help her partner in building their own world, something my mother failed to do for him.I asked him why he got married after promising he wouldn't. He told me that he had already achieved his dreams, so now he needed a woman to stop him from committing adultery - which worked well because my dad easily fell in love with women, especially those with ample cleavage. When it came to women, my dad would act as if he were in his teens. He would point out attractive ladies to me and say things like, "Look at that fine lady passing by." I remember one day he showed me a lady and I went up to her, encouraging her to marry my dad. However, she looked at me disdainfully. My dad called me over and said he could buy the whole world for that lady if he had the money.