Chapter 1: Ocean

The air blows through my hair like a hurricane on shore. The strands twirl in the air as if it was alive and seeking freedom. It was hard to breath, but at this very moment it felt like I was truly alive.

The words faintly cross my mind as I stared at the ocean crashing onto the rocks below loudly, but not loud enough to block my train of thought

"Some things are worth fighting for, but I rather just watch you die before I have to waste my time fighting and risking my own just for you to live" his words were always hurtful, but as my father was ready to go to war, he hissed those words at me before following the troop across the country.

I understood that this was something he couldn't walk away from, since every young man had to fight for their country and their families.

Rumors had it that if you didn't try to kill yourself to avoid going to war, your family will live comfortably. He didn't stay alive just so I could live, he did it for the family that was unrelated to mine.

Father made his own family after my mother passed away. She was a burden in his eyes and longed for her death while I plead for him to save her with medicine. He didn't comply and didn't even bother showing up to her funeral.

I was alone from the moment my mother left. No… from the moment I was born. Father refused to take care of us, so mother had to result in her own work, and that made him angry. It was to feed me and give me clothes on my back, but he always made it about him.

I wasn't sad that he left for war. Not at all. I was sad that I never got to live the same way as girls my age did. My half sister was adored by all and didn't bash an eye at me. Her mother was the same and pretended like I didn't exist, resulting in me often not being home and selling fruit in town.

As I sat by a cliff and breathing the salty air, I thought to myself "Was it worth staying alive for this long?" I looked at my dirty and scratched up hands "Mother, you told me to live long, but for what reason? I lived and learned as much as I could and went by with little money, but it's not worth going through the trouble if there's no long term goal. Is it to just survive?" Tears fell into my hands "No one will look at me. I'm hideous… there's no point" I shook my head, starting to sob "I can't take it anymore! Not with this disgusting growth on my face! What's the point?!"

Losing my hope in a future, throwing myself down the cliff wasn't hard to do. My body felt at ease and even warm while falling down through the cold winter air. I've never felt warmth at this time of year for never being able to afford a coat, but it felt so warm knowing I don't have to live much longer

My body felt like it was stabbed my needles as soon as I dropped into the heavy water. Everything was on fire and I couldn't even move my arms. I couldn't swim, but even if I could, I felt like I broke everything in my body as soon as my body landed front first into the surface

'It hurts' I couldn't even hug myself and endure the fact that I was finally having my death wish "It hurts… the pain is there, but it's so warm"

I opened my eyes at my surroundings. All I could see was white and blue from the ice of the ocean. My body was immediately giving out, and I was expecting it. I wanted to enjoy the sight of the ocean floor for a bit longer before going to sleep, but something caught my eye. Something was moving. Something was coming towards me.

My body managed to hang on while watching this mysterious figure swim towards me. A head of coral pink hair swayed in the water like silk. The hair was attached to a head and a body, a body without legs and a fish tail instead

My vision couldn't make out the face. The figure's body was clear as day, but her face was missing. Her small white hand reached out to me, and with whatever strength my body still had, I was strangely able to reach out due to the currents moving my arms

"You've fallen from a high place" a woman's voice spoke to me. Her hand was close to mine, finally, making a light appear between us. The feeling felt hot enough to feel overwhelming. I waved my arms around and hugged myself, almost not noticing I was able to move them on my own again

'It's not' I cried out in my head. Hands grabbed my cheeks and brought them close to the figure in front of me. My eyes widened, shocked and surprised at what was happening. I was more awake than I was before, yet for some reason I still couldn't see her face

"Your face is ugly" she said. My heart sunk at the words "Nobody looks at you because of this" she touched my growth "you can barely see your eyes, but they are a beautiful shade of ocean blue"

'There's nothing beautiful about me'

"Maybe, but people are only able to see what is in front of them. They aren't able to see the colors you possess. Eyes are blue as the ocean, hair as pink as the corals, and…" her fingers touched on my growth at the same time I was able to see her face. It was like I was staring at my reflection, but without the growth. Is… Is that how I look without it?

"Your soul as gold as the lost treasures nobody on this earth knows how much it's worth. These words describes you. Nobody sees you under all that dirt, because underneath is a shining princess worth caring for" she leaned into my forehead to kiss my growth "Look for your purpose… Darling" I watched her lean away to smile at me, making me realize who I was looking at

"Mother..?" The figure smiled before my consciousness faded while my body continued to float in the ocean. This must've been a dream. It was so hot. Everything is still on fire. I may be going to hell for everything that I am. I'm prepared for everything… just remove me from this miserable life.