1 Jas

--AN) A full rewrite of the original. Now a Yuri Novel. --

"I'm sorry. I thought you were just a pretty boy…. I don't swing that way…." The young man had an awkward expression on his face as he looked at what he thought was one of his best buds. He never thought he actually swung that way. 

The boy, no girl, stood there feeling quite shocked. Her shoulder-length hair swayed gently in the breeze as she looked at the young man whom she had fallen in love with. They had hung out many times and got to know each other quite well. She never thought that she would be rejected!

Jasmine stood frozen. Her nickname was Jas, which was kind of boyish to start with. Yes, she was tall for a girl. Yes, she was tomboyish and liked to wear boy-style clothes. She always wore hoodies or baseball caps. Her chest…. Even after eighteen years was still non-existent…. But… She had really thought…. 

"I am sorry, Jas, I can only think of you as a best bud…." David really did not know how to act. He had nothing against gay guys, but he was not one of them.

"I…. I see….." Jasmine did not notice that the boy in front of her still had not realized that she was a girl. Jasmine was doing her best to hold back her tears. "I…. I need to go…."

"Jas!" David wanted to apologize once more, but as he reached his hand out, he quickly put it down. He felt very bad. He thought they were pretty good friends. Scratching his head, he could only watch as Jasmine ran away. Friends or not, he just did not swing that way.

It was not David's fault either. Except for some of the girls, everyone thought Jas was a man. She had a neutral voice, so it was hard to distinguish her from either a boy or a girl. And because she always wore a face mask, it was hard to tell if she was a boy or girl if you looked at her face closely. Even if they did see her face fully, since she had a more refined facial structure, it was hard to tell at first glance that she was a girl unless she actually wore girly clothes. 

At school, she rarely used the bathroom, unlike other girls who would always do their makeup. This was because Jasmine never wore makeup, to begin with. And if she did, none of the girls ever cared about her entering the restroom. They would only look at her and blush. 

But on this day, when she finally let someone into her heart, that same heart was completely broken. Jasmine ran all the way home, not caring for the tears that were dripping down her cheeks or the stares from the passersby. 

As she entered the two-bedroom apartment that she shared with her grandparents, her grandmother had just walked out of the kitchen. "Jas! Why are you crying!?"

"I…. Grandma, it's nothing…" Jasmine felt embarrassed and ashamed. She had been rejected for the first time in her life. She did not really want to talk about it.

All she had for relatives were her grandmother and grandfather. Her parents died in an accident when she was sixteen. She cried at their funeral, but after a few days, she quickly pulled herself together. The money her parents left her was used to rent this apartment. She paid a few years' worths of rent upfront since she was finishing school. She was now in her final year of high school and was also working at night to pay the bills and put food on the table. 

Both her grandparents were disabled and were unable to do much. Her grandfather needed a walker to get around on the bad days and a cane on the good days. Her grandmother would do some handy crafts and try to sell them on the streets. It was not an easy life, but they were at least happy. They had each other. 

Jasmine told her grandmother many times she did not need to do anything. After all, all her income was handed to her grandmother so that they could live decent lives. She was someone who did not care too much about expensive things, so as long as she had a roof over her head and food to eat, she was perfectly happy. 

Jasmine went to her room and closed the door. Her room consisted of a bed, a dresser, and a small nightstand. On it was a notebook. This notebook was rough around the edges and showed years of use, but it was filled with Jasmine's dream. She had always wished to become a singer-songwriter. For as long as she could remember, she looked up to the musicians she saw on TV and wanted to become one. But life has twists and turns, and her dreams were far from ever becoming a reality. 

Jasmine sat down on her bed and picked the notebook up. She held it in her hand and felt slightly better as she gently caressed the cover. "One day…. Maybe one day I will finally get to stand in front of a bunch of people and sing…." As this thought came to mind, Jasmine closed her eyes and let the lyrics in her mind escape her lips….

~~~~~

I just want to stand tall~

I just want to show you all~

That a dream is not just a dream~

And I want to prove it to you all~

Every time~

Every time I feel let down~

Every time I feel like my world is coming to an end,

I think of both of you and grow the courage to keep on going~

I just want to stand tall~

I just want to show you all~

~~~~