Miserable and Shabby

Bei Sangyun resumed the class in a daze. The conversation of adults kept repeating in her mind.

'Poor', 'Pitiful, 'Orphan', 'No backing'....

She never once thought those words to describe herself. However, to others, to adults that's what she looked like.

A poor, pitiful orphan with no backing.

She glanced at Fei Chuan beside her.

Did he also think the same? Is that why he did not want to become friends with her when they first met?

Fei Chuan was smart so he must have seen that at first glance.

But why did he tell the Teacher about the dispute and made the Teacher help her?

Was it because she was pitiful?

That was the only reason Bei Sangyun could think of.

In Fei Chuan's eyes, she was just a poor orphan child from a small village. It must be laughable to look at when she was studying with all her might in Fei Chuan's house.

Because no matter what she did, she could never cross the distance between them. Nor be a smart or confident person like him.

This thought made Bei Sangyun sink lower.

Bei Sangyun looked down dejectedly and happened to see her dirty straw sandals. Because she had to walk through the fields and cross the mountain to get into the town, her straw sandals were dirty.

Her eyes moved and saw a pair of clean and handsome shoes. It was Fei Chuan's. Compared to Fei Chuan's, she really looked shabby and miserable.

She looked around and saw that the children in the classroom wore new and fashionable shoes. She was the only one who was wearing this old-fashion straw sandal.

Compared to those colorful and pretty shoes, her sandal looked particularly ugly and dirty.

Bei Sangyun wiggled her feet and indescribable shame rooted in her heart.

Everyone wore brand new clothes while she only wore three kinds of big old shirts that she had been using since kindergarten. She held the hem of her clothes tightly and wanted to dig a hole to hide them.

At this moment, Bei Sangyun who was not conscious of her appearance and current status in life suddenly become aware of one of the ugly truths of the world.

The small seed of inferiority that took root in her heart long ago since Fei Chuan's arrival, had sprouted and blossomed in her heart.

Her innocence and confidence were shattered because of it.

...

Ever since that day, the always lively and enthusiastic Bei Sangyun suddenly become averse to going to school.

"If you don't go to school today, you will have three absences."

Grandma Bei said as she glanced at Bei Sangyun who had no intention of going to school. "I let you pass the other day and yesterday because you said you are not feeling well. But you eat like a pig the whole day. So what's your reason now?"

Be Sangyun pouted, "I have to help you sell this in the market."

Grandma Bei took the basket from Bei Sangyun, "I can sell this by myself. Go and prepare for school. Or you will be late"

Bei Sangyun hugged the table, "There's nothing for me there to learn."

"Why? Because you know it all?"

"Yeah! They teach us basic math. I know them all. It's boring."

Grandma Bei raised her eyebrow. She just remembered that during the summer vacation, Bei Sangyun was very enthusiastic about studying. It was as if she was injected with chicken blood and studied hard despite no one urging her.

Grandma Bei was very proud of her and even bought her a new pad and a pencil.

Bei Sangyun was always looking forward to going to school. So why she suddenly did not want to go to school?

A thought occurred to Grandma Bei. Her eyes suddenly turned fierce, "Tell me honestly Bei Sangyun, did someone bully you?"

Bei Sangyun puffed her cheeks, "No one."

Grandma Bei looked at her expression carefully. Seeing that she did not seem to be lying she sighed in relief. She also trusted Bei Sangyun.

Her little kid won't be cowardly and let herself bully without a fight. The children in the village looked up to her. Even the older children here did not dare to make fun of her.

Grandma Be did not know that although Bei Sangyun had a good impression of the children in this village, the teenagers who were hanging around the young master take Bei Sangyun lightly.

"Grandma, am I an orphan?" Bei Sangyun suddenly asked out of the blue.

Grandma Bei was stunned. Her face changed, "Did someone call you that?"

Her child was indeed bullied?

"No...no one called me that..." Bei Sangyun could not tell that she overheard the Principal talking, right?

"But I don't have a father and a mother. Doesn't it make me an orphan?"

Bei Sangyun was once curious about her parents before. Her grandma said she would tell her about her mother once she become an adult, but after learning a few things, Bei Sangyun understood that she was just an orphan.

Her grandma was just making excuses.

"Your parents are all alive and well."

Bei Sangyun's ears suddenly perked up. She sat up straight and her eyes turned bright. "Then where are they?"

"....It's complicated to explain."

The happiness on Bei Sangyun's face dissipated. Her face turned bitter, "They are alive and well but they did not even once look for me. They don't want me right?"

Grandma Bei put the basket down and said angrily, "Who wouldn't want our Bei Sangyun? Those people who don't like you have no eyes! But your parents are a different case. They are just....busy."

Bei Sangyun's face turned uglier, "You don't have to explain, Grandma. I know I am very unlikable. They don't like me too."

Grandma Bei was shocked. Her granddaughter was always confident and never doubt herself. How come she harbored such thoughts?

She crouched down and held Bei Sangyun's hand, "Sangyun, tell me, who told you those despicable things?"

Grandma Bei was really angry inside. She raised Bei Sangyun to be proud and never lowered herself in front of anything.

Even if they starved, were poor, and lack of some things, she wanted to instill in Bei Sangyun that their dignity should never be trampled by anyone. No matter what kind of situation they were in.

Facing Grandma Bei's solemn expression that says she would fight anyone who said those things to her, Bei Sangyun teared up. The rim of her eyes turned red. She bit her lips,

"....No one. I just don't want to go to school."

Grandma Bei's heart ached. She hugged Bei Sangyun. "Alright. Let's take a break from school. If you don't want to go to school this year, then let's go next year. Until you feel better, okay? Don't worry, Bei Sangyun. Grandma knows you are the best. You can overcome this."

Bei Sangyun was plunged into a warm embrace. She could not help but shed tears.

Only her grandma knows her best. Right, she was not standing in the boat all alone. She had her grandma with her.

To Grandma, she was smart and great.

And that's what all matters now.