1 Prologue 1 – Happiness

[It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live]

A quote that stuck with me spoken by a long dead roman emperor. Why do I bring up such a quote?

I do not fear death.

In fact, I never have, my existence had always been devoid of life. Spent pretty much all of it trying to avoid human contact as much as possible. Was never extremely close with most of my family and never had any real friendships.

Why? Never had any particular need or want for it. My life never really got started till I hit late twenty's when I met a particular woman.

The women's whose coffin I'm currently standing over.

I should probably go back to the beginning.

__________

It was a cold and rainy morning in a small countryside village when we first met. The village only contained a few dozen houses and had a two-lane road going in and out of it.

'This weather really sums up my mood today'

I'm currently patiently waiting under a rundown bus stop as once again delays strike the transport system. I'm getting soaked as the roof is broken.

'Fucking waste of time'

I'd already stood here for over half an hour but now my patience has grown thin. I had some stuff to take care of in the town nearby but I guess I'll have to leave it for tomorrow.

I started to jog back home in the pouring down rain when a car caught the corner of my eye, well actually it was more the sound it made that caught my attention.

*Screeccchhhhhh*

*SMASH!*

A small car driving in the rain had suddenly lost control and had crashed into a telephone pole. Somehow, the car had managed to slide so much before the collision that the backside of the car was what impacted with the pole. The car was now clearly undrivable. Some of the side windows were also smashed as well.

After seeing what had happened, my instinct should've been to head towards the car if I hadn't witnessed the driver's reaction to the accident.

"Fuck Fuck Fuck FUCKKKKK!"

Taken a little aback from the women's anger to the incident, I quietly observed her from a distance over her frustration.

Her appearance honestly wasn't anything special or unique, brunette long hair, not particularly tall or short, fat or skinny. Her reaction however definitely was, unique.

"Damn it, I should've just hit that bloody cat. I can't afford to get this repaired again"

She pulled herself out of the car and when she closed the door, something happened.

*BANG!*

The airbags had just then decided now to inflate.

"I hate my life"

Honestly, I found this to be a little humorous but even so, it still would've been a good idea to check up on her.

"You alright?"

"Do I really look alright to you?"

She really is agitated. I should've expected that response. Still, I continued.

"I meant do you want an ambulance or need recovery called?"

"What? No, no I don't"

I really didn't want to stick around and since she seemed fine, well physically at least, I started to head back home.

Maybe leaving a women alone in the rain in a broken down car isn't the most polite thing to do but being honest, I couldn't care less.

__________

The next day.

Luckily the weather had cleared up overnight. Since this is the British weather so most famously known for being terrible, everyday might as well be the toss of a coin with how inconsistent it is.

Weather aside, I was at the bus stop again waiting for another delayed bus to take me into town. It was just now pulling up.

'Only ten minutes late this time'

It wasn't always this bad, a few years back it used to run like clockwork. I could find a new place to live or learn to drive but I really don't care enough to do anything about it. One of the many issues living in a rural area.

I got onto the bus, paid the fare and headed towards the back seats when I noticed someone familiar.

'Crazy women from yesterday'

Sometimes my thoughts aren't the kindest.

I sat down and didn't really pay any attention to her. The bus then set off.

…

"Have we met before?"

Both sitting on the bus at the back, she initiated the conversation.

'Her memory is terrible'

"Yesterday telephone pole"

She immediately got embarrassed at my blunt response.

"I-I'm sorry about that"

"About what?"

"About getting frustrated and angry. I'm not normally like that"

"Didn't notice it"

This response irritated her slightly.

"Yes, you did, I saw you staring and gawking at me getting pissed off"

I had just wanted the conversation to end there. I'm confused why she started getting annoyed at me shrugging it off. If she's going be rude about it, then I'll do the same.

"You should drive better if you don't want onlookers"

There was never a cat. She was just trying to justify her poor driving in the rain.

"Says the guy who takes the bus everywhere"

How the hell does she know that?

"Insurance costs too much. And are you stalking me?"

"N-No of course I'm not, I just drive this route a lot"

So, she must have noticed me at the stop then, it's not exactly a large village so I guess that makes sense.

"Whatever"

I finished the conversation there.

__________

A few hours later.

She once again begin to speak towards me in a frustrating tone.

"Are you actually stalking me now?"

"Don't flatter yourself"

I should give a bit of context, after exiting the bus in the neighboring town, it just so happened that we ended up exiting at the same stop.

And then entering the same bank and leaving together.

And the same thing happened at a large supermarket.

These coincidences kept happening till we both ended up back at the bus stop in town. She then decided to say something about it.

"You accuse me of stalking you, and then you do the exact same thing. You know you're a creep, right?"

"Yes, I really wanted to see your ugly face again"

"You must need glasses then, I'm beautiful you know"

"You've got a high opinion of yourself"

We were both getting a bit irritated now. I don't know why I was though. She continued,

"Nothing wrong with being confident"

"It's more like arrogance"

"Is there any difference?"

"Yes, a lot"

"Nope, you're wrong"

"Sigh"

I let out a sigh of frustration and then tried to explain why there is a difference.

__________

After a frustratingly annoying long time.

"There the same thing though"

"No, they're not, arrogant people tend to be narrow minded and over exaggerate they're own self-belief"

This had gone on too long now and after a quick pause, the topic changed drastically.

"You know, you look a bit cute when you get flustered"

She made a sly grin while saying that.

…

'What?'

Honesty this girl was seriously crazy, just where the hell did that come from. Never once in my life had I been called cute. I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or not.

When it comes to looks, I know I've always been somewhat average looking and never had an issue with that. Six feet tall, really dark brown short hair where it might as well be black. I have been a little into fitness and trying to keep a healthy lifestyle though.

You could say it's trying to make up for other shortcomings. No, it's probably just boredom than anything else. Have no need for looks or anything superficial, I've always preferred being lonely regardless.

But the flustered comment surprised me as well, I've always been a bit stoic. I'm not sure if it's the right way of describing it but I don't tend to show emotion much. I obviously feel emotion although I can be slightly numb and cold at certain times.

Yeah, this girl is definitely strange.

"Not going to respond then, I said you looked cute and now you've gone quiet, can you really not think of a response to that?"

She clearly was enjoying this.

"Er-err"

Damn stutter, why did I stutter then of all times.

"Thanks?"