1 Return to Monke
Life sometimes sucks, did you know that?
You feel like everything is going so well, your future is assured, and you have enough money for a comfortable life, how much exactly? I would say… 37 million dollars… it's a very precise number I know, but with it, one can go to the best hotels, fly first class on airplanes every time, and enjoy life to the fullest.
How did I get that money? Luck mostly… When I was starting school, this old friend of mine came to me with some shit about Bitcoin, he said it was super cheap back then and I bought a lot of it believing him, wouldn't you? Well, I was 15 back then and had dreams of getting rich quick.
Fast forward to college, I discovered that those bitcoins that I bought almost a decade prior, and completely forgot about, were now worth a fortune, so… I just sold it all. I am not smart enough to invest or stupid enough to try my luck again… The government took a huge chunk of my money but I still had enough, enough for a very comfortable life.
Having money is playing life on easy mode, I didn't have to be handsome to get the hottest chicks, didn't have to be polite and didn't have to care about other people's opinions.. It was nice… but also brought me some emptiness… I cleared life… what was there to do now? I had more money than I would ever spend and could buy all the things that I wanted, I wasn't a high-maintenance guy and didn't need to buy my own airplane or anything like that, just a fancy car and a fancy house.
So I started fancying doing some adventuring around the world, and went to some exotic places, enjoyed some high adrenaline rush with my other hobbies, like my latest one… Skydiving... Since I was 15 that was on my bucket list.
That's when the irony hits me… when I was on the plane I could've sworn that the instructor was familiar somehow… I couldn't remember… but it's like having that one word on the tip of your tongue and being frustrated for not remembering it.
On my way down, as I was enjoying the feeling of "flight"... It finally clicked. He was the husband of a chick that I used to fuck… a lot…
My fears became true when I pulled the ripcord of my parachute and nothing happened… How ironic eh?
I screwed his wife… He screwed my life…
Skipping the part where I turned into a pancake, not that I could properly describe it anyway, now I see myself in front of a desk with some weird blonde dude reading some newspaper, with a headline that reads "Millionaire Dies in a Skydiving Accident, Vengeance or Negligence?"
Well, at least I have the final laugh… His inmates will be the ones screwing that cuck from now on. I don't even remember the last time I actually saw a newspaper… Refreshing…
"So… " I said trying to get the man's attention "Who won the game?" I pointed to the third page.
The man stared at the results of the super bowl and shrugged.
"Not a fan of sports I see…"
The awkward silence remained for a few seconds.
"Shouldn't you… at least point my way to hell or something?" I asked, trying to remove the awkward silence.
"Why do you believe your place is in hell?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
I just shrugged "Well I never believed in any god, I took my time enjoying the seven deadly sins… and I didn't help that old lady crossing the street when I was young, not that I regret that… I lived in a very dangerous neighborhood when I was a teen… who knows if she had a gun under that old granny coat?"
"And you believe all of that is enough to get you a reserved spot in hell?"
"That is what I was told… to tell the truth…. if heaven is filled with those religious cunts… I would rather go to hell… even better if the spot is reserved, I would hate to wait in line."
The man chuckled. "No, you won't go to either hell or heaven, there's no such thing as hell or heaven in our system, you either are reincarnated or terminated."
"So… Will I become a squirrel in my next life?"
The man shrugged "Possibly, who knows? It's all up to chance…"
"Oh so a lottery, do I have to push, pull or roll anything?"
"Of course not, this is the high realm of the afterlife, there's no need to do such menial tasks."
Suddenly a black screen appeared behind the blonde man and a bunch of letters that I never had seen before kept changing at a fast pace.
"Do I have to say stop at least?"
The man sighed and massaged his forehead "Humans…" I take offense to that, I was a very happy human!
"Go ahea-"
"STOP!" I shouted excitedly, interrupting him without a care in the world, which prompted the letters to instantly stop, wow I wish the computers back home were this responsive!
The man kept staring at the letters and shook his head, which instantly gave me a foreboding feeling.
"You will be sent to the Tranta Star System in the Andromeda Galaxy, M31V J00442326+4127082 to be exact, with some interesting perks… it seems your luck is rather good, human."
"I have no idea where the hell that place is… Wait. Galaxy? As in... space?"
"That's what a galaxy means…"
"So, I shall be a superior life form or something? Am I in Star Wars?! DO I HAVE THE FORCE?!" I shouted excitedly, I can't believe I will be able to pilot a spaceship!
The man just kept staring at me like I am some monkey.
"What?" I said in confusion.
"You are not in Star Wars, close though… you are going to the Marvel universe."
"Marvel? Like Spider-Man and Iron Man? I wasn't a huge fan.. only watched the movies because some friends said they were cool… well some actually were." I said a little bit down, but then I remembered that Guardians of the Galaxy had spaceships and all that, so it reinvigorated me!
"You don't have to worry about Spider-Man or Iron Man, you are going to the Marvel world a few centuries before the main plot… and you are not even going to Earth so you won't have to worry about them."
"What about the perks that you told me?" I asked curiously.
He grinned "Well, you receive a once-in-a-lifetime chance to create your own body based on other multiverses.."
"… Okay…" not gonna lie, I am confused…
"Have you ever heard of anime?" He asked.
"Yeah, not a big fan either, loved watching old Toonami when I was a teen though…"
"The thing is, you can create your own body based on animes, now certain things won't be exactly the same as in those series, but they will be close enough."
I felt deflated. "Man, I haven't watched those things since my late teens… over ten years ago… I am very out of touch with the whole anime thing."
"Well, I'm sure you will figure something out… "
After that my vision blurred and I felt myself staring at a character creation screen, except that these graphics were realistic… a bit too realistic actually…
After staring at the anime options...
"Naruto, One Piece, Bleach… I've heard about some of these but never watched them… what the fuck is Boruto? … Come on, show me something I have knowledge about!"
I kept searching until I saw old animes such as Sailor Moon and Gundam Wing. "Now we are talking!"
Then I finally saw it, the one and only Dragon Ball.
"Hell yeah! If I'm going to be an alien, I'm gonna be a Saiyan!" I shouted in excitement.
A few options were grayed out, and looking at the names I could understand why.
[Saiyan God]
For example, was out, and just by looking at the name I already knew why. Not that I even knew what the hell the Saiyan God was, probably some new addition that was completely outside the old Dragon Ball Z story.
I saw that there was Legendary Saiyan as well, which would mean... That hulking Saiyan named Broly from the old movies, did they finally turn him into canon?
Well, one of the perks of being dead is that you have all the time in the world to pick and choose so I went after every single option. My first option was the Legendary one, I still remember certain scenes where Broly used to steamroll a whole squad of super Saiyans with ease, that was badass back in the old day.
But when I saw the warnings, I couldn't help but doubt a little.
[A Legendary Super Saiyan has no control over his rage, it is almost impossible to control their rage, be warned.]
Okay, that's a red flag, the one thing worse than an angry Hulk, is an angry Hulk with planet buster powers… I might die in space after being triggered by some prick just because I blew the planet, Saiyans don't survive in space…
Then came an unknown option.
[Ancient Saiyan]
Never heard of it, but it's worth checking it out… it's not like I will be late for anything by taking my sweet time anyway.
At first, I wasn't that impressed, they didn't look that much different from regular Saiyans, not the 'Standard Model' anyway, they were bigger and had more muscles, had a more mean face, which I am totally down for…
The warning was… interesting.
[An Ancient Saiyan is far more powerful than the regular Saiyan, but so is their lust for battle, by choosing an Ancient Saiyan, you will feel more compelled to fight, like it's an addiction. The transformations would be more limited, having only one. Ancient Super Saiyan, which is far stronger than regular Super Saiyan 3 form, reaching Super Saiyan 4 levels of power, but also considerably harder to achieve.]
"Interesting… I like this one, let's see the options here."
As I kept switching some "Pre-made models" for my new body, I discovered what I consider the best option ever! I was incredibly disappointed when I saw that regular and legendary Saiyans didn't have this option, and I didn't want to wait to reach Super Saiyan 4 to get it.
The legendary body fur!
"HELL YEAH!"
I took my sweet time editing my appearance, I don't know if I will be transported there with this body, or if I will grow and become like this when I reach my prime, but I will make damn sure to edit everything I can!
A few concessions needed to be made if I wanted the furry body, one... My nails would be black, which is weird but hey… I'm a furry humanoid with a monkey tail, is not like the nails would change anything.
Another thing was the teeth, they were way sharper than regular teeth, similar to old Oozaru teeth.
Then I finally started editing myself, to be honest, I am really happy that there are far more color options for hair and eyes than regular Saiyans from the series, with their hair and eyes always black or limited shades of brown.
Then it hit me…
I can create my favorite Saiyan design!
Selecting the colors Red and Blue, and changing a few details of my body and tail, I looked at the final product with a huge grin on my ghostly face.
If I'm going to be a Saiyan… then I will be one hell of a Space Monkey!
In front of me was the Sigma Saiyan himself.
Gogeta Super Saiyan 4.
