30 Self-Exploration

Hearing the word daddy coming out of both of our mouths sent shivers down my spine. It felt like it was a forbidden word that I'm not supposed to say cause it sounds so irregular. And the thoughts that come with the word only make it more obscene. Many correlate the word "daddy" when said by older people to a very naughty and mischievous background. Such as the woman calling the male "daddy" with a flirtatious look and lingerie. I'm not supposed to think of it that way since the meaning behind the version Jason is talking about is to call for the dominant that is taking care of the submissive. It's a lot to get used to but I'm glad he's being slow with me to some degree.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was proud to have gotten me to start saying it but I wasn't comfortable enough to speak it verbally in a usual manner. I assumed that's what he was looking for as well, to call him daddy on a daily basis. I wanted to be comfortable but even just the thought makes my cheeks flush and fill my stomach with butterflies. It flusters me so much that I can barely speak which makes me nervous. I don't want to seem like such a weak thing that can't even talk when asked to respond.

Jason listened in on my thoughts and caressed my cheek. "You're thinking too much on this kitten. I understand that you're not used to it and don't expect you to start calling me daddy right away. It makes me happy when you do and it's a treat to my ears when you do feel comfortable of the moment to say it but I won't rush you. I don't want you saying it and have no feeling behind it. You should follow what feels right and I'll accept what you decide." He reassures which calms my nerves a little bit.

I loved that he was so understanding and gentle with me. From the guys I've met in the past and from what I've read in books, it only seemed that good guys like him came from fairytales. it was too good to be true. I pinched myself just in case I was dreaming and reassured I was still in reality. I heard Jason chuckle from my display or reassurance and kissed the top of my forehead. "It's all real little one, I'm not imaginary."

Looking back at what he told me earlier, I lift up my hand and touch the choker around my neck. I hadn't taken it off for a second since the car accident. I didn't want to risk losing it. It stayed on while I was in the shower and I was surprised that it was ok even though it was in danger of ripping or tearing through that whole experience.

Jason got up from the bed and made his way over to my side of the bed and knelt at my bedside. "So what does my princess want for breakfast? Pancakes? Crepes? Breakfast burrito?" He asked and mentioned options for me to choose from while I thought about what my stomach wanted. "Can we have chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries?" I asked hoping that was possible. I missed having strawberries from my hometown in the US but at Cambridge University I didn't have the luxury of home and had to resort to campus food.

"Pancakes it is. Now go get undressed and into one of the bathrobes and I'll start the bath for you. It's about time I get to pamper you. I've been waiting a long time for this." And with a kiss to the forehead, he headed into the bathroom and started the water. I got up from the bed and walked into the closet to undress and noticed that everything that was hung up was his clothes. I slept in his bed! I can't believe it! Ok, don't get distracted Oli, bathrobe and quick before he comes out and sees me stark naked. I quickly strip out of my clothes and grab the bathrobe that was hanging on the hook closest to the closet door. I wrap it around me and enjoy the soft fuzz against my skin.

I walk up to the bathroom door and peer in to see Jason rolling up his sleeves as he tested the water to make sure it was a good temperature and placed a bath bomb into the water. He turned to look at me and smiled. He brought his index finger up to my cheek and kissed my nose before wrapping his arms around me. "I put a bath bomb in the water to help your skin and your body relax. Do you want my help with your bandages?" He asked motioning to the patches on my neck.

I had completely forgotten that they were there and lifted my hand to touch them. I looked up at him and nodded since I didn't know what to do to treat a vampire bite. He guides me to the sink and opened up the medicine cabinet and turned to me. Slowly the bandage was peeled back to reveal two hot pink bites on the side of my neck. I felt his muscle clench against my arm when the sight was revealed to him but he slowly relaxed and continued to treat me. He dabbed some ointment on the bites and did the same for the other side of my neck.

"There, we'll keep putting this ointment on to disinfect the bite so it doesn't get worse. Relax and enjoy the bath then once you're done, don't forget to wash off the soap with a shower and get cleaned up fully. I'll have breakfast ready for you when you finish little one. I'll be waiting just in the bedroom, call out if you need anything." He said before giving me a soft kiss and left the bathroom closing the door behind him. I take off the bathrobe and hang it on the hook on the back of the door and slipped into the bathtub. It was lukewarm and relaxing. I put my head under the water to get my head wet before relaxing fully into the tub.

The suds from the bath bomb gave a pleasant smell of hazelnut and honey whilst cleansing my skin. I close my eyes for a little bit, enjoying the serenity of the bath and being safe again. My worries were slowly being washed away as I let go of the fear of Zack's torment. Realizing the pampering Jason was giving me was not only nice of him but also comforting. Not having a father figure most of my life was troubling as I was raised by my mom back in California. I focused on my studies and never really gave in to the trouble of worrying about a father since it didn't occur to me that I needed one. Now that I have Jason and the ddlg relationship I'm starting to realize how much I wanted to have a strong male figure in my life. Jason replaced my father in my life and I'm excited to learn more about the lifestyle.