29 The end of the adventuring party
My question was quickly answered, as an even bigger Wopperflower appeared. It almost reached the ceiling that was what, 30 meters high?
I'm not leaving this place alive, aren't I? Oh, now I understood, I was the 'ice' from the start.
"Sorry Kenshin, I didn't expect it to mutate again" said an embarrassed Bennet, scratching the back of his neck.
"Indeed. Our magnificent foe had surpassed the limits of his previous shell, giving birth to a-. *Ehem*, it got bigger".
I sense a lewd joke there, but I'm still too young for that.
"What can we do? I don't know if leaving that alone is safe. It's growing even more now" I said, looking at the towering being.
I think this is much cooler than the fire cube.
Hehe, cooler.
Anyway, what can I do? There is no way Bennet and Fischl can beat this thing, as overpowered as they are.
'Try to use that 'weird thing' said Guizhong, but I could sense that she was hiding something.
'How do I use it?" I said, rummaging in my back to look for the weird thing.
'Throw it at the plant, maybe it will do something'.
'Guizhong, do you think I'm stupid?'.
'Yes'.
'Well, this stupid person knows that right now you are like a kid, hiding the blanket he has pissed on. Just because I will lose it doesn't mean your shame is going to be erased. Just- oh, what is this?'
I took out a shiny purple sphere, with lightning contained in it. I even had 2 of them, but I don't remember picking these spheres.
'That...looks dangerous' Guizhong gulped, and I could only agree.
'If it's dangerous for me, it's dangerous for that thing. It reminds me of the storm above Seirai. Anyway, hey!' I threw the mysterious ball to the growing Wopperflower.
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A few hundred kilometres away, the God of Eternity opened her eyes in confusion.
Why was she feeling something that looked like her power activating?
It stopped pretty quickly, so she lost interest.
Meditating was more important.
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A huge flash blinded me.
A lightning bolt had descended from the previously sunny sky, and hit the Wopperflower in its 'head', instantly killing it.
"What did you do?" asked a stunned Bennet.
"I don't know, it looked dangerous so I threw whatever I could at that thing?" I shrugged.
Meanwhile, the plant was turning into ice.
"That never happened before" mused Bennet, looking at the now statue of the bit Wopperflower. It was made entirely of ice. Indeed, we found one 'ice'. "Look there is your ice!. I hope your drink is cool enough now!".
If I didn't know that this kid had not a speck of malice in him, I would have thought he was mocking me.
Did he really think that I would post a commission only to have a cool drink? That only tells me how stupid are the Commissions people usually post.
He approached the statue and with his sword cut a small portion of the statue, storing it in a bottle and giving it to me with an excited smile.
"Here, your ice!" he smiled brightly at me, while I could feel a few veins popping. "We were so lucky this time, I never saw the Wopperflower turn into ice".
"Why are you speaking as if that thing was common?" I asked him while approaching the monster. I was curious about this thing.
It was enormous, and it didn't look like it was going to stop growing, how do they usually deal with this?
"It happens once a week" Bennet nodded, making me deadpan.
Now I understand why are they so overpowered. They need to fight with these kinds of things every week.
"How do you deal with it?".
"We don't" Bennet shrugged. "We leave it alone, it usually dies because it gets suffocated with the ceiling when it grows too big.
What the hell is that answer? What if one day this thing learns how to shoot its ice beam at the ceiling, or the ceiling crumbles because of the constant pressure, or this thing learns to grow sideways?
I will need to tell Varka about this. Hmm, I wonder how this ice feels, it a big monster after all.
Now that I think about it, there is no way I'm using this ice for a drink, it's disgusting.
"OUCH!" the damn ice attacked me! I swear!
"Are you okay?" asked a surprised Bennet grabbing my hand. I now had a serious burn. "What happened?"
"I touched the ice" I said, putting my hand between my tights, in a try to reduce the pain.
'It looks like the electricity from that orb remained inside the monster, and when it crystallized, the electricity was trapped inside. When you touched it, it tried to escape through you' Guizhong graciously explained the obvious.
"You have to be kidding, we found the 'hot ice'" I muttered in astonishment.
"Oohh, sorry Kenshin, it must be my bad luck" said a depressed Bennet. "You can't cool down a drink now".
What have you smoked? If this thing touches a liquid, it's not a matter of 'cooling down', you will have no liquid to drink any more.
"Don't worry Bennet, we can follow the list and worry about this afterwards. I may know a place I can find ice, but I need your help with the blessing" I cheered him up. He was giving me a lot of surprises today, but I still had money in my bag enough for my grandchildren to be able to slap those fuckers from Inazuma's faces.
"Okay then!" he was happy again, I may be jealous of that. "Oh, but let me heal you"
"Oh, you also know how to hea-" I suddenly saw him jump at least ten meters into the air, and quickly come back to the ground with a face that screamed murder.
"BOUKEN DA BOUKEN!!!!!"
"Gyaaaaah!" I was not ashamed at all of the girly scream that came from my mouth.
A red area appeared under me with Bennet in the middle of it, and my burn instantly disappeared.
"What the hell Bennet, you are even better than the certified healer from the church" I said with a deadpan face.
"Hehe" he bashfully replied.
What the hell are you bashful about? Between your flame sword and this, I don't understand why that drunkard of a god you have is still the Archon.
"You win Bennet, you win. Now let's- oohh?" suddenly I felt how a stream cursed through my body, revitalizing me.
But above the absurd healing this 'stream' would surely provide me, I felt strong. Sorry, not strong, I mean STRONG.
I grabbed a rock from the ground and crushed it using only my fingers.
"Bennet, miracle from Celestia, please tell me what's happening, because I'm sure the reason my brain still works is because this red thing is healing it" I could only admit that he was the superior being here.
"Hehe, it's my special move, I'm still training it. It can make you a bit stronger" he looked bashful again.
What do you mean by a 'bit' stronger? I'm sure I can beat Yae to a pulp now, disregarding all her magic shit. And you are telling me that this is still not completed?
I touched the iced Wopperflower, my stunned brain not reacting to the pain and the torment my roasted hand was probably being subjected to.
And voila, it's not even hurt. My hand is recovering faster than what this pesky lightning can do.
"Anyway Kenshin, let's go!" he grabbed me again, taking me out of the paradise I was in.
"Noo!. I don't want to leave. In that red thing, I was strong, I was powerful, I was SOMEBODY!" I screamed out of my lungs. "I don't want to be a nobody any more! Please let me go back!"
"Ohohoho, this one recognized that your egregious display of flippancy is only the validation of the absence of understanding the odium your current behaviour is causing in the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, queen of the Immernachtreich" Fischl said with a mocking face.
"What are you going to do if I say that you have been torturing me to the Guild?" I said to her with a dark face. "Pain is all your yapping is causing to my ears. Also, I don't even know most of those words, but there must be an error somewhere".
"You-you wouldn't" Fischl looked scared now. Didn't Bennet say she was new to the Guild?
"Yes, I would" I nodded, showing a confidence I didn't have. Sure, I could report it, but it wasn't serious enough for them to penalize Fischl.
"They will revoke my license again, please don't do it" she pleaded with teary eyes.
I didn't know what to react to, the fact that she had lost her license a few times, or the fact that her way of speaking was motive enough for her to be suspended.
"Anyway, where are we going?" I asked Bennet, who was pulling me to places unknown.
"To Starnatch Cliff!. There is a rumour that if you go there with a friend, you will be friends forever!. That a kind of Blessing right?" he said excitedly. "It's sunny now, so the chances will be even bigger!"
And just like Bennet said, we reached that cliff, I'm not saying the rest, too chuuni. Starsnatch, heh.
"What now?" I asked him.
"Now we pray to Barbatos-sama to help us" he said sincerely and joined his hands in a prayer gesture.
There is no way I'm praying to that filthy betrayer. I still remember when he abandoned me at the hands of Yae 7 seven years ago just because he feared that stone woman, she probably wasn't even interested in him. She was probably not interested in not-
BANG!
Lightning struck next to me. Is that woman punishing me even here? How much range does she have?
"Sorry Kenshin, my bad luck made the sun hide" Bennet said with a downcast expression. I'm starting to see the pattern here.
"Don't worry, I'm from Inazuma so this lightning storm reminds me of my home. Maybe the God of Eternity decided to Bless me" I reassured him. I was still not sure if this guy wasn't the Pyro Archon in hiding. His soul wasn't special, but he was too powerful.
BANG!
Sorry Miss Shogun, I won't make more jokes about you.
"That's great!" shouted Bennet, excited now. Again. "As for the book, don't worry, I will give you mine" he said handing me a worn down book.
"What's it about?" I asked. Even if standing by Bennet's side brought nothing but good fortune to me, I was getting tired from all the running around.
"I don't know, but the lady at the Guild who gave me this because somebody lost it told me that it was a book about happiness and how to achieve it. It was too difficult for me to understand, so I will give it to you" he said with a happy smile.
It was hard not to like the guy. And he is powerful.
"Thank you, I will read it when I arrive at my room, I wouldn't want it to be damaged under the rain" I nodded and put it into my backpack. "Where is Fischl by the way?"
'She said that she had enough lightning this month, and every time Bennet came here thunder would arrive. He is known as the Archon of Rain and Lightning' Guizhong explained to me.
'He is definitely more impressive than that woman' I mused. I didn't see her fight, but Bennet's special move was awesome.
We quickly arrived at Mondstad, where I paid Bennet for the Commission. Of course, I will send him half of what I get from the spoils.
"Hello, how did it go?" the non-human asked me with a malicious smile.
"I misjudged you" I confessed to her.
"Hehe, you should be more polite if you don't want to-"
"I thought you were a spiteful bitch who sent me with an incompetent adventurer to make me suffer" I continued, ignoring her.
"....." she had an angry expression, she wasn't human but she behaved like one.
"And yet, I got rich, got to know the most powerful person I ever met, and even killed for good a big plant. Thank you, I will be polite to you from now on" I nodded gratefully with a slight bow. "Now I need to read a book my new Archon in disguise friend gave me. May your non-life be filled with happiness and fulfilment. Now if you excuse me, I must bid farewell" and that I did, not caring about her reaction. It was raining and I was cold.
"Welcome back sir" the receptionist of the hotel greeted me with a business-like smile. "We have good news for you. The expedition party will arrive in 3 days"
Is this.....my Blessing? Did someone bless me without my knowledge? I knew it, Bennet was the best, he was now the Captain.
After thanking the receptionist, I went into my room to read the 'book about happiness'.
'What is happiness and how can you achieve it? That's what this book is about. By the end of it, you will be able to have infinite happiness, literally. Yes, I know this sounds like a scam, and yet is only the truth'.
Hmm, I will give this to the Shogun, she could have a bit more happiness in her life.
'And what better way than to experience ecstasy forever? You only need a fresh corpse, lube and a lot of willpower. The firs-'
That's enough.
