13 Letters and Sweet Madame
I was in the same black space. I approached the illuminated zone and a pale man with white long hair pinned to the ground, the same as Shen Zi. He also saw me and started yelling.
"Boy! Release me! I can feel that Morax is near, let me go and I will kill him this time!" he started yelling. I could have asked him for more information, but seeing how he was yelling stupid things I just followed my mantra. Don't interested, get out.
So I left the illuminated area, and found myself in the same position I once was, with both Rex Lapis and the spear boy looking at me.
"He is yapping about killing you, and it's probably not a good idea to try anything" I admitted honestly. "Before you ask, he looked like a pale man with long white hair".
"Yes, that's him. It's good to know that he can't do anything. If he is pinned, as you put it, every single Remnant will be in the same condition" mused the Boss.
"Hmm" spear boy nodded.
"Was he that strong?" I can't help but ask curiously. He looked like a huge man, but not that amazing.
"He was almost as strong as me" it was the Boss who said that.
"That's awesome. I could paint his face and he wouldn't be able to do anything" I started feeling powerful all of a sudden. "I don't think I can bring paint to that place. Anyway, we can't do nothing right now, but if I can erase the non-hostile ones, spear boy's job would be easier right?"
"My name is Xiao" spear boy introduced himself after a long while.
"And my name is Kenshin. Any way Boss, where should we start?. The area near Liyue would take priority right?".
"Yes, where do you see the next Remnant?".
I pointed to the floor 2 meters away from Chang Li, making them deadpan.
"This is going to be a long day"
It was almost night when I finally was able to fall in my bed in the Wangshu Inn. I wasn't able to help anyone. Out of the 50 or so Remnants I checked, all of them where hostile. This isn't going to help as much as I envisioned. Maybe I can help after I learn more about it.
But I was very happy and excited. Why, you may ask. The answer is obvious.
It's letter time.
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That night in Inazuma.
I have not calmed down yet.
Every time I remember the damn letters, I feel extremely angry. And is was even worse when I realized that tonight another one will come.
I could stop reading them, but I need to know if Kenshin needs something. If I stop reading tonight's letter and Kenshin asks for help, I'm the only one who can do something about it.
So waiting for a letter that I know it will mock me, but having no other choice is making me feel an impotence I haven feel in the last 500 years.
Here it is, just on time. Looks like Kenshin tries to be punctual about this thing. It only makes me look like a trained dog.
I'm going to skin him alive when he gets back.
"Hello pink woman. I hope your day has been bad and your anger has not subsided yet.
If it has, don't worry!. The mighty Kenshin here will reignite it.
My day started being the best. I was walking around when I met a random god. Yes, you read it right, his soul was shining like a beacon, so of course I approached him to ask. As my mom told me, it's best to be direct. And surprise!. A random Rex Lapis appeared".
This can't be true. What are the chances of Kenshin meeting the oldest Archon?. I can only hope that he shut up and didn't irritate him. I don't know him personally, Ei hasn't tried to talk with the other Archons since the Catastrophe 500 years ago, but he doesn't seem to be an Archon that gets angry with a child right?. If only Kenshin was a normal child....
"Anyway, he offered to introduce me to a teacher that could help me understand my ability. Pretty awesome right?. And another surprise, this person was also the grass-eater's teacher!. I admit that put off me a bit. I mean, grass-eater was walking with horns on her head thinking that nobody noticed them, and this person taught her. It's a bit ...you know.."
Indeed, that very Ganyu-like. She is such a naive and pure person that I can't help but tease her, even if she doesn't understand half of my jokes.
"But still, an adeptus recommended by the God of Contracts!. It was amazing, but she didn't accept me, she was busy"
Hah!. Not everything is going to be your way.
.....
Why am I happy about the misfortunes of a 5 year old child?. I must have made a mistake somewhere.
"So I had no choice but to get back. What could I do?. No money, no place to stay the night and my only option was to work for the Funeral Parlour here.
I went back and accepted the job, but it wasn't what I expected. I didn't find any interesting things, I was just sitting behind a desk organizing documents. By the time I realized I was tricked, I had already promised to work here, and mom told me that I shouldn't break my promises. I had to admit defeat".
That's good, now I can feel assured that he is safe. And I feel a bit more happy that he is not having fun while I'm swamped with work. He will be overworked for this month and he will come back only to be punished.
Haha, good work brat.
"Is that what you expected me to say?".
Oh no.
"Hahaha, you naive little fox. You can grow even older, you ancient fossil, but you can't grow smarter. You should have known better than underestimate the mighty Kenshin!".
I am going to kill this kid.
"Let me tell you what really happened. I had plans to leave for Mondstadt. If I can't have fun in Liyue, it's obvious what the solution is. Leave."
Please tell me he hasn't gone to Mondstadt. Liyue is more or less similar to Inazuma, but Mondstadt is complete anarchy. He will not return as a human but as a feral beast.
"I stopped in a nice place called Wanchu Inn, or Wangshu I don't care. The landscape was amazing, green plains, clear water, majestic mountains and those black spots everywhere"
Black spots?. Is that a new crop or something?. I will ask Ganyu about it.
"And I met another adeptus. This one was a bit edgy and quiet, but he was very cursed. And I mean VERY cursed, his curse was second only to the hilichurl one. He is known as the Conqueror of Demons, or spear boy"
I...don't think I like where this is going. I know from Ganyu that the Conqueror of Demons has been protecting Liyue since it's inception so I can be assured that he won't harm a child, but Kenshin is very annoying.
"So of course, I had to ask him. But we were interrupted, something I came to know later was a Remnant of the gods dead during the Archon War started spewing monsters, and spear boy destroyed them. Of course I was looking so when the spear boy turned to leave, I had to remind him. Hey spear boy, aren't you going to clean that?. Yes, as I am sure you realized by now, those black sport everywhere were the Remnant of fallen Gods!".
I really don't like where this is going. Please Kenshin, please, tell me that you didn't get close to that, it's a whole mess you shouldn't be getting into.
"I was curious so I touched it".
Dammit Kenshin!.
"But I couldn't touch it".
Ufff. I don't know what would happened to you if you touched that. With your ability, interacting with a powerful millennia old soul can bring untold disasters to your own soul.
"It avoided me so I jumped to hug the black wriggling and bubbling sludge"
Dammit Kenshin!. That's even worse!.
"Well a few things happened but guess what?. I was able to erase the Remnant. I am so awesome and you had me cleaning the toilets of the shrine. Show some shame pink woman!".
I am not even able to get angry. Kenshin being able to cleanse the Remnants, something even I can't do tells me that Kenshin's ability is extremely powerful. The Shogun mustn't know about it, or she could kill Kenshin for some stupid reason like protecting Eternity. I will need to go Liyue to explain this to him before he comes back.
"And I smelled an opportunity. I had no job and no money, but I could do something nobody else could do. Wasn't that the same as saying I have the monopoly of this ability?. I can charge whatever I want!. But I don't care about money right now, so I went back to Liyue Harbor. And I made a Contract with the God of Contracts".
What the hell Kenshin. You don't know how important Contracts are in Liyue, and you got into one with the God of Contracts itself?. This is only his second day in Liyue, and got into the worst position one could get into. Depending on the Contract, I may need to plead to Ei's for help in this matter.
"It is a pretty safe Contract, don't worry. But now, for a few weeks, I will be cleaning Liyue from corpses of dead gods spawning homicidal and irrational monsters".
This is madness. I can't do anything about it, but that sounds not like a safe plan.
"And you know what I'm the most proud about?. I added a clause in the Contract where the big Boss, the God of Geo will protect me from anyone that seeks to harm me. Do you understand now, little overgrown fox?. I'm untouchable in Liyue.
Hahaha, you can send all the shrine and they will packed and returned to the sender. You can come here but if I refuse to go back you can't do nothing but get your probably wrinkled ass spanked.
Muahahaha, and even further, if you send the Shogun, while these 2 overpowered Archons fight I will flee to Mondstadt. I'm invincible!".
.....
While things are a bit different to Kenshin's expectations, it is indeed true that things got complicated. I was going to send the Shuumatsuban to pick him if things got weird, and with him dealing with those Remnants, I was going to send them to bring him back just after reading this. But that is now useless too.
And I have to explain him that my ass is as smooth as it was 500 hundred years ago.
...
That hurt a lot.
"Miyuki!" now that the shock was waning, every insulting comment on the letter was making me angry again.
"Yes, Guuji-sama" she entered and bowed respectfully. If only Kenshin was a tenth of a good child as Miyuki is.
"Send this letter to the Kamisato Clan and tell them that I expect them to send it back tomorrow morning.
"Yes".
I'm not going to suffer alone.
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On Xuanyun Peak.
"Master, what is this?" asked a quiet girl with white hair.
"This one doesn't know, this one found in on the entrance of this one's home" answered a big bird.
"Shenhe, open it. It must be a present from someone that knows me" the big said in a haughty tone. But she couldn't hide the excitement she felt, who doesn't like presents?.
"Hmm" the now named Shenhe carefully opened it. She was having a bit of trouble holding back her strength these days.
"Master, what's this?. I can't read it" she gave a piece of paper to the bird, who just moved her head to look at it. She doesn't have hands after all.
The bird felt even more excited. She felt that whoever sent this really knew her, and that she enjoyed more a challenging puzzle than some exquisite tableware.
"'How to.....' Shenhe, tear it off. This one needs to leave for a while. This one is going to find out who sent this" the bird said in an angry tone.
"Master, will I be alone" the girl asked in the same plane voice.
"...." indeed, now the bird realized that she could leave her problematic student alone.
The bird just fumed and went to her room. Maybe she would forget this mockery during the night, but she was aware of her impeccable memory, so she doubted.
"...." Shenhe just looked at the paper, and like her teacher ordered, she tore it of, letting the now smaller pieces of paper scatter in the wind.
One of them read 'How to cook the best Sweet Madame!'
