67 Drunkenness makes you spew bullsh*t

"Shut up woman, it's the last time I'm trying to comfort you" said a tired Kenshin with his head hurting.

"I don't remember asking for it" Yae replied while eating some rice, looking at Kenshin in front of her with a smile. "Don't blame me for your own decision".

"Hahh, my head is killing me, I don't want to argue right now" said Kenshin resting his head on the table. "And I need to go to work today. That stupid samurai could have decided to kill himself in his own home".

"The Shuumatsuban saw him and his friend from the Kaedehara Clan get on the Alcor" noted Yae, also not fond of Tomoya.

"Please tell me that's a bad thing for them. I don't care about Kazuha, but I hope Tomoya falls unconscious in the middle of a hilichurl pack who ingested an aphrodisiac" muttered Kenshin.

"It's a good thing, at least for us. It means that they will not step in Inazuma for a while" said Yae, poking Kenshin in the cheek.

"Stop it. I haven't forgotten about your debt. I will wait until I get better to enjoy my sweet time playing with your ears" said Kenshin while focusing on the cool table.

"Tsk" Yae said, displeased that Kenshin hadn't forgotten about it. "Take this, it should help you"

Yae handed Kenshin a talisman, one that Kenshin couldn't see which meant that whatever magic shit it could do was not related to the soul.

"Do you think I'm stupid? There is no way I would use something this suspicious" Kenshin tiredly said towards Yae.

"And still you will have to use it if you want to stop your head from hurting" Yae dismissed Kenshin's suspicions with a wave of her hand that Kenshin could only sense.

"Guuji-sama, Kamisato-sama is at the entrance asking for Kenshin" said Miyuki after a polite bow.

"Why am I the only one without '-sama'? I'm still your superior" Kenshin muttered, knowing that Ayato's presence here only meant that he would need to go.

"I changed your diapers, it's difficult to have some respect for you after that horrible mess" replied Miyuki without changing her facial expression.

"Please, my member is majestic. When I'm excited I'm taller lying down than standing up" Kenshin tiredly said before standing up with exhaustion on his face.

"Pfft" Yae scoffed in disdain.

"While it's true that your member may be way above average," said Miyuki without changing her tone and making Yae look at her in astonishment. "That is not something me or Guuji-sama care about".

"Wait wait, how do you know about that?" Yae asked equally curious and suspicious.

"I sleep like a log, and on the important days she is the one who wakes me up, it's inevitable for her to see some things" said Kenshin, stealing the last bit of rice Yae had and leaving the room, not ashamed at all.

Yae didn't say anything, she was a bit shocked about what she just heard. She tried to ask Miyuki, but she didn't let her speak.

"No Guuji-sama, even if it's you I won't say anything about Kenshin's size. If you are curious, find out about it yourself" and after a polite bow, she left the room, leaving Yae alone with her musings.

"Yae!! If you are that curious I will start fearing for my privacy!" Kenshin's shouts made Yae realize that Kenshin could still 'see' her, making her feel dismayed knowing that Kenshin knew she was curious about it.

She had seen a dick before, people tended to feel excited doing it near the temple, but she had no experience with the opposite sex, or the same to be precise. 

And she didn't know what to think about the fact that after centuries, she was starting to get curious now.

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"You look like you are going to die just by sneezing" commented Ayato. He and Kenshin were slowly walking towards the Tenshukaku, with Ayato guiding Kenshin with his hand on Kenshin's shoulder.

"I think I should have chosen the duel" Kenshin muttered, feeling his head palpitate. "I would have saved myself all this suffering".

"You are as dramatic as always" said Ayato with a wry smile.

"How are Aunt Kayo and Ayaka" asked Kenshin, thinking of the mother and daughter pair who should be in Liyue.

"Perfectly fine" Ayato said with a smile. "My mother is enjoying herself, I think she is having more fun there than in Inazuma. She likes to wander in the Harbor, trying food and seeing new things, and she also was able to thank again to Adeptus who saved her years ago. And Ayaka misses Inazuma, but she is learning from some important merchant there, so I think she is busy but satisfied, and she has Thoma with her to help".

"I see" 

"You don't".

"Indeed"

After a while, they finally arrived at the Tenshukaku, and no guard dared to stop them. People knew that the Shogun herself wanted Kenshin to work under her, so stopping Kenshin meant going against the Shogun's orders.

"Here we are. I missed your presence in this room the last months" Ayato scornfully said.

"Hahh, let's just enter, my head is killing me" said Kenshin while grabbing his burning head.

A few people were still missing, but the Shogun and Sara were sitting and waiting with serious countenances.

Hearing the door open they looked at the people who arrived, and seeing Kenshin Sara was worried about his state, while the Shogun just acknowledged his presence.

Kenshin sat on the place reserved for him that had been vacant for a few months and rested his head on the table, making Ei look at him.

"Don't show such a sloppy attitude. It's a warrior's duty to take care of its own body, if you failed in that you should at least carry yourself with dignity" she said looking at Kenshin's sloppy figure.

Sara nodded, finding the Shogun's words quite sensible.

"Good thing I'm not a warrior then" replied Kenshin, but under Ei's frown he stood up and touched his chest area, where he had stowed the talismans Yae told him.

When he took them out, Ei looked at them in surprise. It had been a very long time since she saw these.

"Hmm, Shogun-sama" said Kenshin with a doubtful face. "How do I use these?". Ei was surprised to hear this.

These talismans were widely used in war to restore the health of warriors, only at the cost of some energy. Even the common folk used them frequently, how didn't Kenshin know how to use them?

Those talismans were made by the Hakushin family, but in these 500 years, the only member remaining of such a noble lineage was Yae, who couldn't make enough of them to supply the whole population of Inazuma. But she had worked during the night making them because she knew Kenshin was bound to catch a cold.

"You inject your elemental power on them and they react on their own" Ei succinctly said while closing her eyes again.

"Can you help?" asked Kenshin with a wry expression. "I have no elemental power".

"...." Ei only sent a glance to him, ignoring his petition.

"I will help you" said Sara with a sigh, and stood up.

Meanwhile, Ayato was sipping on his drink, looking at the scene with a curious expression. He found this more interesting than the meeting after all.

"Thank you. See?, she is trying to help while you obviously know more about this thing" Kenshin sent a disapproving glance at Ei, who ignored him again.

She was still angry that Kenshin interrupted the duel. Didn't he understand that the duels were a sacred thing, where 2 people would make their ideologies clash to show whose determination was bigger? It was only natural for the defeated to die, as the loser had proved that his determination was not good enough.

"Kenshin, just shut up" said Sara, putting the talisman on his forehead and applying the elemental power.

"Hmmmm, this feels good" Kenshin moaned under the cool stream entering his body through his forehead.

"Kenshin, how can you be so shameless?" asked Sara with a red face, as Kenshin's moan was quite indecent.

And even Ei looked at Kenshin with a frown, asking herself how could this man be her only chance to get enough food.

"Huuh" Kenshin felt his head spinning, and his head fell onto the table again.

Yae had not made a single talisman in 500 years, and the last time she made one she was still a kid, so she just repeated the same motions she was used to.

But after 500 years, her power had grown enormously and she didn't take that into account. The result, an overcharged talisman.

"Kenshin?" Sara asked in wonder after seeing Kenshin unmoving. Even Ei felt that something weird happened, and looked curiously at Kenshin.

"....." Kenshin didn't reply for a while, making Ayato intrigued, Sara worried and Ei confused.

"MUAHAHAHA!" Kenshin suddenly jumped with a bright smile. "I FEEL THE POWER!!!"

"K-Kenshin?!" asked a worried Sara. "I thought the talisman was only supposed to heal him".

"It was supposed to" replied Ei, taking a look at the talisman, and letting out a sigh after realizing the problem. "Miko overcharged it".

"Is that dangerous?" asked a worried Sara.

Ayato was just having fun, looking at Kenshin and wondering what kind of trouble he was going to make. Today they will receive a special visit after all.

"It's not" replied Ei with a sigh. "He has too much energy right now".

"Indeed purple woman!" shouted Kenshin, pointing at a surprised Ei with his finger. "And all this power is making me want to have a duel with you!".

"Are you sure?" asked Ei seriously. Hyperactive or not, a duel was a serious thing, if Kenshin insisted, she would duel.

"Of course!" Kenshin nodded, ignoring Sara's panicked gaze at seeing the Shogun nod seriously. "But I can't fight at all, so we will have another competition!"

"...." Ei was stumped hearing that. She never had a duel that didn't involve fighting, but a duel was supposed to be a competition to prove that you were determined enough to fight with your life on the line, ready to defend your ideals right? "What would the duel entail?".

"Shogun-sama, please ignore him. Nothing good will come out of this, he will just play around" pleaded Sara. She was a fighter herself and understood the Shogun's understanding of a duel, and Kenshin was definitely not going to take this seriously.

"Then instead of a duel, a friendly competition!" said Kenshin while pointing at the ceiling with one hand and the other one at his waist.

"..... I can agree to that" Ei nodded, thinking that this would be an unofficial duel without some punishment involved.

Had Kenshin offered this competition without putting the notion of a duel in Ei's head, he would have been slapped all over the room.

Ayato took out another drink and introduced his straw, ready to see an interesting play. The Shogun was formidable in a lot of things, but Kenshin was too good at fooling around.

Sara thought the same and realized that this was not going to end well.

"Then answer me!" Kenshin said with a girly twirl. "If a normal person practices martial arts, what does a cripple practice?".

Ei was stunned at the question. They didn't set the rules, the prize or even what would the competition entail, and yet she found herself faced with a question she had no idea how to answer.

But she decided to seriously answer. A grave error, as thinking was not a thing Kenshin himself was doing.

"A crippled person should also be able to practice martial arts" Ei answered seriously. She had met a lot of extremely formidable warriors who lacked an arm. Martial arts were not always about fighting, they were a way to understand life. Why couldn't armless people meditate or exercise?

"Puu puuu" Kenshin crossed his arms. "The correct answer is partial arts!"

"Pfff" Ayato spit his drink all over the table, holding back a laugh while Sara looked at the ground, not wanting to hear how Kenshin was disgracing himself in front of the Shogun.

Ei had a dark face hearing this. What Kenshin had just done was mock the valiant people who lost a part of their body in the war, and she was going to teach him that.

"Your turn!!" said Kenshin with a bow that made his head almost touch his feet. Ei was disoriented by the sudden need to think of a question, but she complied.

After a bit of thinking, Ei finally asked him.

"What do you think Eternity is?"

"Idiocy!!" Kenshin instantly answered. "My turn, what do spicy food and life have in common?"

Ei felt angry at hearing Kenshin call the thing she was living for idiocy but decided to answer the question, she would teach him a lesson later.

"That both are difficult to get used to, but only once you have can you enjoy them" she gave a somewhat philosophical answer to a silly question.

"No!! But close!!" said Kenshin with a huge smile. "Both are good at the start, but when shit arrives you have to clench your ass!"

"I'm not going to continue with this" Ei said with a dark face.

"What does a burnt cake, a pregnant woman and a frozen soda have in common?" asked Kenshin with his arms extended in a T form, and standing on his toes. 

Praise the sun, cultured people would say.

Ei didn't answer, she was approaching Kenshin to teach him a much-needed lesson.

"Someone forgot how to pull out on time!"

Sara and Ayato facepalmed. They felt their IQ was halved by that.

"Pfff!".

Everyone, even Kenshin looked at Ei with surprised expressions. It couldn't be right.

"What is the hardest thing to do in a funeral?" asked Kenshin curiously. He could sense Ei's embarrassment at having laughed, but he could also sense how funny she found that stupid joke.

Ei, who didn't expect Kenshin's joke to be 'fun', was too surprised to react so she stood silent.

"The cor-"

"Kenshin!" Sara cut what was a joke of very bad taste.

"Well, the birdie didn't find the joke funny, but you liked the first one" Kenshin said with a shit-eating grin

"No" replied Ei calmly.

"Lie" Kenshin's words made Ayato and Sara look in disbelief at Ei, who looked at Kenshin with a calm gaze. "Come on, you know you are dying of laughter inside, don't look at me like that".

Ei didn't answer, she was feeling embarrassed by Sara's and Ayato's pointed stare. She couldn't let her image as the immovable God disappear in smoke right?

"Muahahaha! Kenshin wins again!" shouted Kenshin, extending his arms in a grandiose gesture.

"You didn't win, we didn't even have rules" said Ei with a frown. Now she understood what Sara said when she mentioned that Kenshin was going to play around.

"And yet, the judge has decided that I'm the winner. I had to swallow my loss before, now it's your turn to suck it up!" said Kenshin with a vicious smile.

"We don't even have a judge" Ei refused to admit defeat like this.

"Sure we do. Ayato, who won?" Kenshin pointed at the bystander who only wanted to have some fun.

"You, of course. I declare Kenshin as the winner!" Ayato raised his drink, almost as if he was toasting.

"On what basis?" Ei was still not convinced.

"You gave up first" Ayato pointed out.

"....." Ei couldn't refute that, so she sat back down with a calm expression once again. "I will gracefully admit my defeat" she said, making Sara nod in admiration.

Even after losing like this, the Shogun was still elegantly admitting the obviously forged result.

"Why are you acting so calm? I know you only want to scream in frustration" Kenshin said with a mocking smile, making Ei frown again.

She found this human teenager too annoying to deal with. Maybe it hadn't been a great idea to make him work here again.

"So, as the winner I can ask everything I want from you" Kenshin said, and put a hand into his chin with a pondering expression.

"Kenshin, what are you saying? You never said anything like that!" asked an outraged Sara.

"Chill birdie. Anyway, you owe me a dance. When I say it and how I want it" said Kenshin with a nod, thinking about how to capitalize on it.

"I don't know how to dance, change your wish" replied the Shogun with a frown, she didn't want to make a mockery out of herself.

"Nope, that's my wish. And I don't worry about that so I'm sure we will make a spectacle out of us" replied Kenshin with a shit-eating grin.

*Knock knock* 

Everyone turned their head to the door, but only Kenshin was curious about it.

He saw the most charming soul he had ever seen.

He had seen almost ten thousand souls, maybe even more, and there had been some impressive ones, like Morax, Barbatos, Ei or Yae, even the Adeptus were impressive.

And some like Sara's and Jean's were amazing, shining with their own light, but the soul Kenshin was seeing through the door was special.

It was a human soul, and it didn't have the elegance of an Adeptus or the sheer might and majesty of gods, but it was something unique.

It looked like a soul made of fire, not unlike Signora's, but there was nothing like a jail to limit it.

It was shining brightly, and Kenshin could see how 'compressed' it was. Normally a soul was 'compressed' when someone felt a traumatic or very scarring experience. If the person was able to overcome the trials, his or her soul would 'condense', increasing its density, and that gave the soul more power.

Jean's soul for example was big and golden, but it was not very compressed as she didn't experience any significant troubles.

Sara's was a bit more compressed than Jean's, after all she had been to the war.

But this human's soul was something that was comparable to a god's in pure density. That didn't mean that this person was as strong as an Archon.

If Jean's soul was the size of a soccer ball, this human's was the size of a marble with an extremely high density, while an Archon's would be of this same high density, but the size of a soccer field.

What this told Kenshin was that this person had been able to overcome countless trials to arrive here now, and the fact that the soul was still perfectly fine and with no gaps or fractures spoke of its enormous resilience and determination.

But there was also something peculiar about her soul, something Kenshin wasn't able to understand. It was more of a tonality, something he hadn't seen before, and as such, couldn't comprehend.

Kenshin couldn't see, so he couldn't appreciate if a person was attractive or not based on his or her aspect, but as he could see souls, that was what he could use as a way to determine a person's 'beauty'.

And this type of soul belonged to a person that he was very interested in.

Basically, you look at a woman's face if you are 'pure of heart', and at the.....'arguments' if you are honest, while Kenshin's way to determine how beautiful or charming a person was is through the soul.

*Creeek*, the door slowly opened, screeching due to its oldness, and 3 people entered.

One, Kujou Takayuki, leader of the Kujou Clan, and at the same time, the Head of the Tenryou Commission. In charge of the Police and everything related to the safety of Inazuma.

Another one, Hiiragi Masato, leader of the Hiiragi Clan and Head of the Kanjou Commission. In charge of anything related to diplomatic relations and money.

And the third stopped, seeing a boy of around 15 years old in front of her with his head bowed and a knee on the ground.

"Please my lady, grant this foolish peasant a chance to get to you your Excellency better. If you are a guy just fuck off".