TO BE OR NOT TO BE

"I don't think I can do this."

I am suddenly hit with a warm breeze as I rush out of an enchanting castle, descending stone steps until I have reached a large garden. The kind of garden seen in dreams. 

The stunning white dress that I had donned whipped behind me. From a stranger's glance, I looked like a beautiful bride. 

Maybe because I am one. 

"Briar!" a voice called froom behind me.

I turned to see my mother approaching, her face full of concern.

"What do you mean you can't do this?!" she asked with a hushed tone.

I glanced around me. The garden is large and beautiful and full of many floral species. This place would be my home.

I couldn't face my mother as I spoke:

"I'm not sure I can marry Adler."

"Hush, child. Not here," she said quietly.

She led me away, deeper into the pristine hedges. I heard voices in the distance and glanced over. Many people have begun to arrive for the wedding, striding into the castle with ease and laughter. All dressed in their finest.

My mother took my hand, guiding me into a secluded area. She turned to look me in the face.

"What is this about?" she asked.

I struggled to find the words.

"I'm not sure If I love him…" I said, stumbling over the words that fell out of my mouth.

"Of course you love him. Lord Kolmer is a wonderful man with a kind heart. What else could you possibly want?"

What else could I want? Nothing. I should not want anything else. But I felt a yearning in my soul that could not be explained.

"…he is a kind-hearted man," I mumbled.

Lord Kolmer, aka Adler, was a childhood friend. And he did have a kind heart. And I believed that a small part of me really did love him.

I remember the first time I ever saw him, over 10 years ago. I had been playing outdoors when suddenly a storm came out of nowhere. I tried to outrun the rain but fell into the mud.

And like King Arthur saving Genevieve, Adler showed up on horseback, rescuing me from the storm.

Since then, we have become inseparable. Close friends who did nearly everything together. And with my father's successful merchant runs by sea, it was not long before we were betrothed, destined to wed on my 17th birthday.

This very day.

I turned away, wanting to avoid my mother's gaze.

"But what if there's more for me?"

I looked at my mother quickly, and I saw her face drop to almost…anger.

"Listen to me, Briar. This match is the best that you will ever have. That we will ever have. Our family, although held in high regard, are just merchants. You, marrying into a noble family, will give our family the greatest gift of all: social status."

I knew she was right. But I was still filled with doubt.

She suddenly grabbed onto my face, drawing my eyes to hers.

"You are our best chance. With your beauty, we can finally become our true selves. Who we were born to be. Your siblings can become noble too. Don't you understand?"

Tears welled behind my eyes. I slowly nodded my head.

"Yes, mama," I said.

She smiled.

"Good. The priest will be here soon. Take some time. I will come to fetch you when you are needed."

She took her leave of my presence, and I began to slowly wander deeper into the garden. The flowers, and the shrubbery, were all cut with pristine care.

I continued to wander for some time until I suddenly found myself at the opening of a hedge maze. Its tall entrance intrigued me. And I felt a sudden tug in my heart.

Something beckoned me forward. Inside.

"Running away, are we?"

I turned to see a very handsome young man just several feet away from me.

Adler.