48 Liza: Survival of the fittest

Liza: 18 years, South Korea

It's been three weeks since I've arrived at Korea. I walk the crowded streets looking for sign boards and notices labelled, "Help wanted" or "Job vacancy". If I wanted, I could borrow money from Olivia, but then again I decided not to do that. She had already done so much for me. I didn't want to depend on her forever. I wanted to do things on my own. However getting a job in Seoul, without any qualifications whatsoever, was proving to be difficult.

"Sorry you are not qualified for this job. Thank you for coming by." This was the common response. Rejection after rejection. No one is willing to hire but I have to keep pushing. I cannot give up. I have to survive for mom.

I look up. The clouds turned grey and before I knew it, water drops started pouring from those cotton balls. The situation seemed ironical. I was someone who used to love the rain but now I despise everything about it. People who has a roof under their head are the luckiest ones in the world. They are the ones who can truly enjoy the harsh rains and ice cold winter. They find beauty in them. Whereas for the homeless. Its a different story. Rain, snow, and cold in general are their worst enemies. That feeling of damp wet clothes hugging your skin while you shiver in cold. That feeling was unbearable.

I return back to the motel I was staying in. "Ma'am you have to submit your final payment today." says the motel manager.

I take a look at my purse. Only twenty thousand won left.

"Can I pay you tomorrow?"

"No ma'am, we already have a someone waiting. If you can't pay then I suggest you leave right away" says the manger bluntly without any emotions.

The manager must have already been used to dealing with difficult customers. In a way, I could empathise with him. He was trying his best to feed his family. Just like me, he was also trying his best to survive this brutal world. Therefore I didn't try to argue or compromise with him, instead I simply obliged to his request and pay him the twenty thousand won that I had left.

"Thank you ma'am. Do you want to stay longer?"

"No, I'll leave tomorrow."

I open the door and enter the room. I fall onto the floor and stare at the cracked ceiling. I'll have to check out tomorrow. I had no other choice. All the money had been exhausted. I didn't even any left to buy food.

The only valuable item I have left with me is the gold bracelet that my mom gifted me on my sixteenth birthday. It was the only memory I had left of her. Rest of them were burnt down when the house caught fire.

I could still hear the helpless screams of Maa, calling out for help in my ears. I could only do the part of being an onlooker just like others. I couldn't do anything to save her.

Maa...

The memory pierce through my brain like a pointed nail. I cry my heart out. For the first time in my life, I felt the pain of hunger pangs. My stomach was screaming out for food. I couldn't do anything about it.

I scream louder....

Maa...Maa...

Suddenly, I felt something cold hit my forehead making me shiver in pain. I look up. Rain water was dripping from the zig zag fissures of the cracked ceiling.

Hunger...damp clothes...ice cold floor...freezing skin....pained eyes...tired legs...

I sigh. My visions getting blurry. I have to survive.....