Emotion Control

"What! No Who are you!!".

My interest was piqued! No. I was now totally invested in what it had to say.

The weeper! It knows more about me, about my Oduduwa lineage, even more than I do.

"Oh! Now you are asking for my identity? Finally, it seems we are getting somewhere". Said the weeper, with a hint of enthusiasm on the display.

"I already told you everything there is to know about me. I am the Weeper, the hearer of all who weep. And especially your pillar meant to shape you into the best version of yourself, prepare you for what is to come in the future".

Shape me? Prepare me? It mocks me, mocks my condition.

I who is at a loss, devastated at what I have done am now invaded by an intruder with promises of what I could become in the future!!

Mother! Is this person perhaps sent by you? Is this your way of saying that you are with me and I should think only of the future?!

Please! Answer me!

"How". I said, getting my body off the ground and my soul drawn out of the darkness. "How can I do it? What should I do to make myself not feel this way?!".

"Yes! Yes!!!!". Says the Weeper, jumping up in jubilation.

"This is how it should have been from the start. This determination is what is required of you to survive. No. Not just to survive, but to do the necessary as the surviving head of the Oduduwa lineage".

The weeper's tone showed how proud it was like it was something it had been expecting from me its whole life.

"To change, be a better version of yourself, the first thing you need to learn to do is how to get rid of your emotions".

"Get rid of my emotions? You want me to be a human without a soul? A body without free will".

I wasn't sure exactly what the weeper was asking of me. If getting rid of my emotions is interpreted to its initial meaning, or just an idiom leading to another meaning.

"Hmm... I did say to get rid of your emotions, but not in the way you think".

"To Oduduwa's, their emotions are the same things as their heart. Without it, they will become nothing so of course I don't mean to get rid of your emotions".

"Then what are you...".

"I am saying to keep your emotions under control".

I tilted my head, not yet grasping what it meant.

"To Oduduwa's, they are easily addicted to their emotions. You express sadness and instantly, that is all you feel yourself experiencing. The same goes for pain, fear, love and any other such emotions".

"Do you realize how toxic that is?...".

I do. After all, it is what I am currently going through right now.

"That is what destroyed your lineage, what reduced your numbers to just two members. Emotions got the best of your people, turning them into mindless beasts until they could no longer bear with it and outdid themselves from the world".

"For those that do not end up going crazy, they eventually rise to prominence and remain untouchable by the majority. That is what you have to do, the position that is meant for you".

Keep my emotions in check?... "Are you asking me to be a hypocrite".

It sounds to me like that is what was being asked of me.

"Hypocrite? No way. What I am saying is to keep your emotions in check. You know, take control of it and monopolize it to your will and not to its will".

"I... I don't understand".

"Think of it like a switch. Emotions come in different variations at the same time and some work in response to the other. But, there are times when certain emotions triumph over others. Those emotions are what you should be particular about".

"For that particular emotions that are stronger than others, we consider them as the majority. While the variable emotions that make no significant impact should be dubbed as minority".

"For the minority-based emotion, there is no problem if it takes over your way of thinking as it is too dynamic to cause any tangible change in your actions or the way you think".

"But the majority emotion... That is what you should be worried about".

"You keep it in check by turning it into a switch that you can on and off at will. Of course, it won't be easy, but if it's you... It should be possible to accomplish. If you can find an anchor to keep your emotions in check, believe me when I tell you that you will grow beyond anyone's expectations".

A switch?... Do I need to turn my emotions into a switch that I can control at will.?

Can I do that?... My emotions into a switch?

Wouldn't that just make me nothing but a mindless puppet? Or even worse, an emotionless beast? Would it not mean that I will be going against everything I have worked hard to keep?

No. I have to do it. I have no choice but to do so if I want to escape from my reality!

Escape my reality! I am running away! Afraid to combat pain and despair! How weak-minded I am! But what should I do?

It hurts too much to bear!!

"It's your choice Raul. I already showed you the way out, now it's up to you to decide if you will grab it or otherwise!!".

The weeper's already hazy figure slowly dissipated into the dark from the foot to the visible mask.

Once again, I was left alone to contemplate my choices.