on a starry night

Chapter one

DAMI

Sitting on the long bridge looking into the dark ocean, I don't care if people were not supposed to sit on bridges or if people are staring at me, I just want to drown in my sorrows and this particular spot looks pleasing to my mood at the moment. Cars buzzed past behind me, people walked by and I can hear their hushed noises and gasps no doubt thinking I'm some lunatic who has a death wish but I don't care what people say, I'd do what I want where I want it. I know I should get off the bridge soon before some people decides to call the cops on me but I couldn't and just when I started to think of jumping into the dark sea and save people the stress of worrying and going through the trouble of calling the cops, I heard someone talk to me, I removed my earpiece and stared the guy down. He wore a simple jean and a sweat shirt but oddly with a face cap and a bag pack which are all black including his fine sneakers which despite myself could not help but admire.

"uhm… I said can you please point me to this address?" he extended a sheet of paper toward me and at that moment, my brain began to work real fast moving from suicidal sad to angry, how on earth will someone ask a person quietly sitting on a bridge with her look screaming 'I don't want to be disturbed' directions! I quietly got off the bridge and took a good look at him, although I couldn't see his face very well in the semi dark walkway.

"look mister, do I look like a tour guide to you?! I would suggest you go look for one Mr. undertaker! Bloody idiot" fuming with anger I stomped away not bothering to look back at the stranger still standing there.

Walking back home its already midnight and I know I'll be scolded for coming home late but despite this I still took my time to walk as slowly as I can. This is my best time of the day, the cool night breeze, the quite, the almost empty street lit with colourful lights under the stars… and what makes it more relaxing is my music, I mean I love music, music makes me happy and most relaxed… not just any music but Feran Thompson's songs. I love Thompson I could die for him, I wasn't always a music person, well… that all changed three years ago when my father died, he was the best thing in my life and when he was gone everything went with him. I was in my room for a whole month wallowing in my sorrow, everyone including my mum tried to get me out but gave up couple of weeks after I have lashed them with all the anger in me. After a month of craziness and grieve, I decided to take a walk. Mum and my siblings were in the sitting room when I came out dressed, I would never forget the look on their faces when they saw me. I murmured that I was going for a walk and quickly walked out before they called me back but they didn't try to call me, I guess they were just happy I came out after all and as I walked into the night that looked just like today's, I heard the best thing I have ever heard… Thompsons 'faults' it was playing at a nearby store and just like that the colours returned to my life and I felt alive once more. It didn't take me much time to run to the almost closed store and asked for the CD and when I got home rushing to my room and playing the album on repeat first with an earpiece and then on loud speaker everyone knew my grieving days were over. I ate dinner with my family that night.

Deep in thought, I didn't realize I was almost home and just like that my happy thoughts were gone once more 'I should have jumped into the sea, if not for that nosy stranger' and that's where it hits me, I was rude to the guy I shouldn't have done that he was just asking for directions it could happen to anyone 'wait, why I'm I feeling guilty? I will certainly not see him again and let him think whatever, I'm done caring what people think' I thought to myself. Attempting to touch the door knob the door sprang open and I almost collided with Eni.

"where have you been?! I was just about to come looking for you" of course she was.

"can I at least come in first?" I pushed her aside.

"mum is going to kill you"

"you haven't answered any of your calls" she said as I went in.

"my phone died" and just as I was about to open the door to my room, mum came out of the kitchen "Dami! Come over here!" I walked slowly to where she stood "explain yourself"

"mum I believe I'm an adult and I can take care of myself" her face turns expressionless.

"oh right I seemed to have forgotten that, but you should understand that even grownups are not out by this time of the day! I called Ani and she said she left you locking the store and here you are walking in four hours later" she said

"a late customer came so I had to reopen" I quickly said in defense.

"and you couldn't call to tell me that? Here I was actually worried about you"

"my phone died" I replied

"if you want to continue working at the store you will come home not later than an hour after you close and as long as you live under my roof and call yourself my daughter you will abide by my rules"

Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears and I couldn't help but feel bad "I'm sorry mum"

"I don't want your apology! You never listen to me anyway, we wouldn't be in this situation if you had" she walked away to her room and shut the door.

It was always my fault.

As I got ready for bed, I couldn't help but think how it would have been if I wasn't so self-centered before Thompson sang me to sleep.