20 We Were Doing Alright

This is the part of the story where the main character complains about wearing high class clothes and deflects or diminishes his own achievements because he is just so bashful and humble. The hero is just a simple man, a man of the people, the common clay of the world. You know… a moron.

Naruto surely groused enough to prove his relatable protagonist status as the two of us were required to dress appropriately for dining at the table of the Daimyo. As for me… where have these silk robes been all my life. I tucked my black hakama pant's into my nicest pair of sandals and belted it over a layered red kimono. The white coat with an orange lining and the Kanji for Fifth Fire Shadow down the back might have sourced most of Naruto's complaints for the evening.

It finally dawned on Naruto that I might actually be the Fifth Hokage.

The young blonde complained about the thorough grooming, scrubbing, conditioning, and coifing we received before they stuffed us in monkey suits to meet a smelly old guy. I can see why people were so handsy with the bastard as the show progressed. It was a weak as toothpick stilts attempt to get some laughs, but the little fucker deserves a good smack or two at least three times a day.

"Naruto, are you aware that there are over three hundred citizens in the Land of Fire for every Shinobi in the Konoha Ninja Corps?" I asked the whinging boy, "They generate the vast majority of the income we so enjoy here in the Village. Now I want you to remember this before we see the Daimyo. No matter how much of a fop or an ass he seems, that man is at least in theory in charge of six million people. The Hokage has enough trouble just being in charge of the eighty thousand people that live in Konoha and those in our various bases. It doesn't matter that we could topple the man's government in an afternoon, cause even if no one objected to it we'd still have to be responsible for all those people… and fuck that. So stuff all your complaints down your throat with the expensive food and luxurious teas, sit tight in your silk underpants, and plaster a big fucking smile on your face like there is no where else you'd rather be. You want to be Hokage someday? This is how Hokage do."

And with that we entered the banquet hall where the Daimyo sponsored a feast in celebration of both the victory over our enemies and the finest Chunin Exams he'd ever attended. Turns out Hiruzen actually took my idea for story lines for the finalists and ran with it. He rigged the finals using transformed Chunin and a boat load of Genjutsu and the result was the most satisfying Chunin Exams ever seen.

No boring fights, no poor sportsmanship, no sudden surrenders. It was all clean entertainment and it allowed the village to fix the betting game. It was wins all around.

Though ANBU ran the perimeter the hundred red coat samurai the Daimyo brought with him on this trip secured the venue from just within the property line to the side of the man himself, a very soft late fifties man of flexible spine quality with a fan shaped head dress dangling a fall of golden tassels like all the other Big Five Daimyo - though a few of the lesser Daimyo copied the style without much blowback.

"Ah yes, the guests of honor." Chirped the Daimyo as a big grin split his sagging face, "I am quite excited to meet the pair of you. It is so rare for Shinobi to perform such valorous deeds. Defeating two attacking villages at once with only two ninja. Surely I now have something with which to shut up that cantankerous fool from the Land of Lightning. Always going on and on about how his village is the most secure in the world because he has his Killer Bee. Ha, now I have my Army of Two and he can choke on it. And my people have actual feats defending invasion. Ha!"

Old dude, don't be picking fights between us and Killer Bee. Those are some hands so heavy that unless you have a gimmick that stomps him like Kisame, then you are in for a bad time no matter who you are.

At the table with the Daimyo sat the Captain of his Samurai guard - a harsh man with his hair pulled back into a top knot and a red and gold surcoat over his heavily corded lamellar armor - as well as Sarutobi-sensei, his son Asuma, my mother Tsume, my sister Hana - both sitting next to an obviously uncomfortable Jiraiya, and Naruto's entourage consisting of Sakura, Kakashi, and Konohamaru.

Naruto and I sat next to the Daimyo who looked at us with a seemingly genuine fascination.

"Young Kiba, you look quite different than the most recent pictures of you that have circulated." the Daimyo noted.

My fusion with Kuromaru and Baru had lasting side effects on all of us. Baru's started another growth spurt, his chakra potency massively increased, and he has started using basic words to communicate. Kuromaru now looks much more youthful and has gained enough vigor to give Guy and Lee a run for their money - something my mother is quite put out by. My outward appearance had kept the feral transformation of the All Fours Technique - in fact I no longer gained any benefit from the jutsu - and a second pair of smaller red fang markings appeared on my lower jaw just within the two upper fangs developed by chakra adept Inuzuka descendants.

Under the hood things had changed even more, far beyond the what-big-teeth-you-have chompers behind my lips. Something in the way our bodies interacted while using Soldier Pills and putting out that much chakra turned my network bestial, which is were the Inuzuka get their biggest benefit from the stimulant. Human's have a chakra network, but animals suffuse their every cell with the energy. When an Inuzuka uses a Soldier Pill the network leaks back into the cells and their chakra doubles from this change.

I walk around like this now. It's the new normal, and now that it's natty rather than medically induced moving my chakra storage from a circulatory system to my entire body and my chakra production from a few key organs to every cell meant my capacity and regen rate shot up through the roof somewhere into the stratosphere.

Plus I can now smell chakra like I could while in the fusion transformation, just cut down five fold from every chakra source within hundred miles to every source within twenty miles of me.

I'd received an honest to God Naruto style random power up. I'm living the dream, people. We all saw them happening on the panels of the manga or our tv screens and we all were either hyped every time it happened or pretty stumped about how poorly conceived and implemented it was, but let me tell you… it's fucking dope when it happens to you personally. When nature, nurture, circumstance, and luck mix together to give you a random bullshit power up oooouuuuu it feels good.

Plus I am pretty sure Kuromaru and Baru are biologically immortal now, so that's cool too. No one likes it when their dogs get old and die.

"Kids these days." I grinned at the Daimyo, "You look away for a year or ten and all of sudden they look totally different."

"I was just saying the same thing to Kentaro here." the Daimyo laughed, "I looked away from the Land of Birds for a time and then got surprised when my meeting was with this pretty young thing dressed as a man rather than her father. Happens all the time."

"Sounds lively." I chuckled.

"Now that I think of it… you should probably head on down there and sort the place out. Some up jumped advisor is totally wrecking the place. Probably killed the Daimyo too. Make sure to bring the pliers and yank his balls in different directions till they tear off. That always sends the message loud and clear." The Daimyo mused while causally assigning a foreign dignitary to death.

"Sounds like exactly the kind of mission Kiba should take during our transition period." Sarutobi accepted the task on my behalf, "Just be sure to get back in time for the mission protecting Yukie Fugikaze."

"Oh I love the Princess Gale movies." the Daimyo exclaimed in good cheer at the announcement of the famous actress as a future client.

"We're working on getting her for the Make Out Paradise movie." Jiraiya boldly announced, making Tsume and Hana quite embarrassed, "It should start filming after the Violence movie."

"Exciting!" the Daimyo crowed, "I love it when things come together like that."

I realized while Dad, Sensei, and the Daimyo happily discussed the future of the Make Out series that with my own contributions the four most politically powerful men in the Land of Fire are united behind the banner of smutty fiction. Truly the strongest bonds between men are forged in the fires of perversion.

Nearby Naruto pestered Kentaro about his powers as a Samurai, and the man explained the the rigorous discipline of his training, and his spiritual connection to his sword which he runs his chakra though every day, turning a fine piece of painstakingly shaped steel into a blade that can compete with the greatest chakra metals.

"Be careful if you find yourself on the mission to protect Fujikaze." Kentaro cautioned the loudmouthed blonde, "The Samurai of the Land of Snow have always been a dour and serious group. They tolerate no insult, and are some of the finest warriors in all the lands. Their strength has only grown since Doto Kazahana usurped the Daimyo's throne from his brother many years ago."

"Wait, if this Doto guy took the throne from his brother, then why is that fine, but we are supposed to stomp the guy in the land of Birds?" Naruto questioned in obvious confusion.

"Doto is a member of the Daimyo Clan, and thus not to be touched by an outsider's hands without the express permission of the sitting Daimyo outside of open war and on the battlefield." Kentaro stated, "It was the Daimyo's duty to deal with him how he saw fit. He chose not to. The advisor in the Land of Bird's however is not a member of the Daimyo Clan, his actions are an affront to the sacred position, and thus it is the duty of the other Daimyos to see him destroyed utterly, painfully, and publicly."

"I don't really get it." Naruto grumbled and I stopped paying attention to that conversation.

"I don't want to get left behind." Sakura whispered to Kakashi at the end of the table, as far away from the Daimyo and Hokage as they could be.

"Then you will have to find a different path than the one they are on." Kakashi counseled the pink haired girl, "Kiba has put the whole world on notice with his power, but Naruto is the one to watch. In just six months he has gone from a near completely untrained academy student to one of the most well rounded Chunin I have ever seen. With the way he trains with his shadow clones and his own insane affinity for ninjutsu there is no telling where he will be even a year from now with his abilities."

"So what should I do then?" Sakura insisted on a straight answer from the man.

"Play to your strengths just as hard as he plays to his." Kakashi responded, "Your memorization skills are well beyond those expected of a Chunin, and your chakra control is naturally perfect. Even with all the growth you've done it has never once changed. So obviously the best route to take would be as a medical ninja."

"But Kiba is already a medical ninja, and he has almost as much chakra as Naruto." Sakura complained at the obvious unfairness of the situation.

"But Kiba needed many years of study and religious chakra control exercises to maintain that level of precision." Kakashi explained to the girl, "He grinded away at the skill set in the same way he has grinded out all of his skills, with many hours of dedication and hard work. You will have a much simpler time catching up to him and eventually surpassing him in the field as you are naturally inclined to it. Play to your strengths, Sakura, but don't forget to grind down your weaknesses. Take the best of both Naruto and Kiba and forge your own path."

"Thanks Sensei!" Sakura smile beamed with joy.

As I looked around at my friends, family, mentor, and boss all eating together in the village we just saved from devastation, I knew that we were doing alright.

For now at least.