The Second Stage

She came in like a wrecking ball!

Quite literally as Anko Mitarashi spun through the window wrapped in a tarp that she expanded with thrown kunai to advertise herself as the proctor of the second stage of the Chunin Exams.

"None of you are in a position to celebrate!" she shouted as she struck a pose, "I'm the second chief examination officer, Anko Mitarashi! Time's a wastin, people. Let's go! Follow me!"

Anko jumped back out the window she busted in, and rather than follow her I busted out the window next to it, further inconveniencing Ibiki and his crew.

"Hey, Kiba." Anko smirked as we hoped along to the next destination, "Couldn't wait to jump up the rankings and get back with this." she emphasized the 'this' with a slap to her tan trench coat covered ass.

"Have you been living under a rock?" I asked the curvy woman, "The paperwork is filed, the announcement was made, I'm the Fifth Hokage. Hiruzen wants me in a bunch of high profile events and missions during the transition phase, but if the old dude passed in his sleep tonight I'd be in charge of the village tomorrow."

"Bullshit." Anko denied, "Even with how busy I have been I wouldn't have missed that."

"Announcement was made to the Jonin currently in the village yesterday, and just like all the other big juicy secrets in the Village they leaked it like a sieve all over the place." I grinned, "So the shoe is on the other foot now, girl. I'll be the superior officer diddling my helpless little junior."

"You're still a kid, brat." Anko spat while she blushed.

"Age is just a number and I've seen the dudes in this village. I'm already bigger than ninety percent of the dudes you've ever been with." I teased, but was serious.

Dude's in Konoha are shrimps. Asuma Sarutobi, Dad, and I are the closest things to beefcakes this village has.

"Fuck yeah you are." Anko muttered, but my dogman ears heard clearly.

"Damn, girl." I growled, "You'll give a man a god complex saying things like that."

"Tell you what, Lord Fifth." Damn the way she said that was filthy, "Win the Exams and I'll be your obedient little girlfriend for an entire month."

Is that a big sign for a submission kink?

"I don't plan on letting any other teams finish the second stage." I informed her as we landed in front of the Forest of Death.

"Don't underestimate this place." Anko sniped as we looked at the giant twisted trees behind the double high chain link fence.

"This place is my pantry." I chuckled as I rubbed Baru's head, "Best place in the world to get exotic meats and fungi. Ain't that right, boy?"

Baru nodded his head with a hungry look in his eyes.

"Color me impressed then." Anko nodded and looked back at the teams as they showed up behind us.

"Oh, come on!" Naruto shouted as he saw training ground 44, "Is every stage of this exam going to be a big let down?"

"Is that so, little guy." Anko stiffened with evil purpose as she fingered a kunai in her sleave.

"I take the team camping in there for weeks at a time." I headed the woman off, "We know the place inside and out."

"Ah, so you really are going for a full examinee wipe?" Anko sighed, "Lord Third is going to be so pissed."

"Who knows, I might be willing to let some teams pass…" I offered the purple haired Special Jonin.

"Three months." she offered.

"Six." I countered.

"Four." she haggled.

"Deal." I grinned.

"Oh you dirty boy." Anko smirked as she realized I was probably playing her.

"You think I was bluffing." I smiled, "Just watch what comes next."

Anko nodded and turned to explain the upcoming test as a 'capture the scroll' battle to the death, where each team is assigned either a heaven or an earth scroll, and to pass a team needs to make it to the tower at the center of the training ground within five days with a copy of both.

Teams are disqualified if they lose a member, leave the enclosure, or open any of the scrolls until they are in the tower. With that we each filled out our death waivers and lined up to get our scrolls. We wound up with a cream colored heaven scroll and the Gate 12 position.

"What the hell was that with you and the proctor?" Temari asked as we waited.

"She just wanted to know if we could hook up when the exams are over." I told her.

"Jeez, if you didn't want to say you could have just said so." she huffed.

But I was telling the truth, girl. Why do people doubt me so much? Do I have a liar's face? Resting Liar Face?

We followed Anko out to our gate and a team from Kusagakure strolled by us on their way to theirs's and stopped to cat call us.

"Good luck in there, kiddies." Orochimaru laughed as he wore the face of an androgenous Genin he'd slain earlier in the day.

Anko watched closely as they left and muttered, "That guy gives me the creeps."

She checked her wrist watch, waiting for the exact moment to open the locked gate and let us in. 1530.

"Well… let's see it then." She goaded.

"Alright, alright, alright little buddy. It's time to show off what we can do." I smiled at Naruto as we took up the iconic hand sign and shouted just for fun.

"Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

A sea of smoke burst into being and as it settled over two thousand Naruto's appeared with hundreds of Kiba's spaced between them, clubs and swords in hand.

"Let's go wild, boys!" I shouted at the lot who hooted and hollered back, "Get us some scrolls!"

"That's just unfair." Anko gaped at the sight of about three thousand Team 7 clones taking off into the woods.

"Fairness is for other people. I'll gladly take my as much Overpowered as I can get my hands on." I chuckled, "Now if you'll excuse me, my team and I have a record to set."

We ran straight to the tower at Sakura's pace, meaning that there were already five Kiba's with scrolls in hand by the time we got there. Two earth and three heaven scrolls. I took one earth scroll while the clones burnt the others and ran back into the woods as the first chakra enhanced howls rang out across the woods to signal the rest of the clones to come dogpile an enemy. Both Naruto and Sakura knew the special howls I could produce for emergency communication, so Orochimaru was about to get flooded in angry dudes with giant swords and clubs.

The man could very likely battle for days, and with the Power of the White Snake on his side there was little threat of my clones destroying him no matter how much they cut him up as they barely have enough Chakra to fight at full physical capacity for more than an hour, let alone start throwing around jutsu.

But Orochimaru was in for a bad fucking time no doubt, and I'd get hundreds of rounds of combat in on him. Seeing the way one of the most powerful beings in the setting moves, reacts, and predicts in a protracted and heated battle.

"Let's hurry." I stated as a memory hit me of Orochimaru creating a score of his Earth Release: Shadow Clones. The kind that can keep reforming when damaged by physical attacks so long as they have enough chakra supply to complete the restoration.

I could tell that Naruto's clones were a pain in his ass rather than a fly in his ointment, but my clones were a genuine thorn in his side as we exchanged attacks and set up combinations and traps and ambushes to really fuck him up.

The man needed to drop Mud Clones twice more in his attempts to escape us, but we had his scent and came after him like an army of baying bloodhounds.

A number of teams either ate shit or ran as we battled through the forest on his way to Sasuke. He spat out more of his mud clones one final time when we encountered Team 8 and he performed a drive by curse marking as we tried to cut and club our way through his wall of clones.

"How I wanted to play with you, little Sasuke." Orochimaru whined before a snake shot out of his throat and spat out the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi, the double edged anime version, rather than the standard katana seen in the manga, "I have found myself quite suddenly thrust into a rather thrilling battle. How exciting."

The first time the true Kusanagi struck one of my copies of Kubikiribocho, the blade bit into the buster sword and dispersed the clone behind it. The next clone came in with his blade glowing a faint gold, the Earth Chakra Flow hardening the Executioner's Blade beyond the capabilities of the Kusanagi to cut unaided.

"Splendid!" the man cried as he wove between his clones and mine while engaging in a series of sword fights with his far more agile blade reaving quite the toll on my forces with its ability to also explosively extend its length.

The first time his sword tinked off one of my clones the man recoiled into a defensive stance and engaged in a few more brief exchanges, his sword failing to cut though the few openings he exploited before he finally got a solid attack through.

My clones used the Earth Spear Technique to harden their bodies in reaction to the man's attacks the same way Kabuto predicts and applies medical jutsu to a specific area to regenerate any damage dealt, except this negates it. I wasn't hundi on the technique yet, but combat experience along with sixth sense training was pushing me towards a state of near Observation Haki levels of prediction.

As more and more of my clones arrived they hung back, only attacking the man and his clones with just enough to keep him on his toes without getting in each other's way and allowing the bulk of the dying to be born by the Naruto's, each of them observing the battle with intense focus, and each wave of Kiba's became slightly more deadly than the last.

The multifarious Sannin always remained a step ahead as he revealed more and more of his abilities to me in the form of various ninjutsu, his brutal and flexible taijustu, and clever bukijustu.

"What the hell is going on here?" Anko demanded as she arrived to find our greatly depleted army fighting her legendary sensei.

"From the snakes he keeps summoning, the ridiculous jutsu on display, and the dope sword I fully intend to take for myself I'd say that Orochimaru infiltrated the exams and totally wrecked my plans to steal all the scrolls and sell them back to the teams with enough ryo stacked to afford my daylight robbery." Clone Kiba complained about the loss of income from my Plan B should the Snake Sannin not have shown for whatever reason.

"You guys clear out. I'll take him." Anko demanded with tunnel vision for her sensei down below.

"That is the most retarded thing anyone has ever said while standing in this spot. Ever." My clone chuckled at her, "I know about you, sweet cheeks. And despite that hefty hate boner you deservingly carry for the guy, you aren't facing him all by yourself."

"Fine, just get me an opening and I'll take him out." she snarled.

"Where do you want me to drive him." Clone Kiba asked.

"Get him under that tree there with the really thick canopy." Anko pointed.

"We'll get him there." I nodded and the woman retreated back into the woods to circle around to her chosen ambush location.

Clone Kiba passed the message through the remaining Kiba's waiting their turn to swarm Orochimaru, and they all coordinated when they replaced the ones that popped in battle. Slowly but surely they drove the Sannin into position.

Anko dropped on him like a cannon ball, taking the man by surprise and as she wrapped her thighs around his belly she wrestled with his hands, slamming a kunai through his and her palms and grabbing the other to use for dual hand signs.

"Ninja Technique: Twin Snakes Kill Each Other." Orochimaru giggled, "How adorable."

Is this dude about to reveal that it's been a clone this whole time?

No he did not in fact pull an Itachi on us and laugh off this whole battle as a fake out, instead he rocketed his elongating neck forward and smashed Anko's head back before snapping the wrist she used for the dual hand signs.

"Anko, in what world are you physically strong enough to restrain me?" the man laughed, "Thank you for the breather though. Fighting the Inuzuka boy is quite tiring, but I've caught my second wind."

My clones immediately pulled Anko back and got to work healing her, using up the limited Chakra of one to get her wrist and nose put back together while his compatriots continued their assault on the man.

"If this is the power of such obviously limited clones, I find the thought of settling scores with the original very enticing." The Snake Sannin smiled widely as he cleaved the head of another of my clones, "Your clan is quite well known for augmenting their mediocre abilities with enhancement jutsu. I wonder how far an absolute specimen like you can take it! I just can't wait to find out!"

As he shouted he summoned a massive snake using the tattoo on his arm and leapt into its mouth. The snake then vanished in a puff of smoke, the Snake Sannin gone with it.

"Damn it!" my clone shouted, "There are still some of us left! We need to get our sets in, you selfish ass!"

"I can't believe that guy just gets to peace out like that." another complained, "Summoning is hax! Hax I say! I need some of that in my life."

"Soooo…" a clone walked up to Anko and pulled the concussed woman off the forest floor, "Gangbang no Jutsu?"

"Fuck no!" she yelled, "I just got my ass kicked, and unless your pullout game is proven a hundred percent no clones get to fuck, ever!"

"Make sense." the clone nodded, "Disappointing, but makes sense. No Orochimaru to fight, no Anko to fuck, and we aren't supposed to take out all the teams, so I guess it's duces."

The clone put up two fingers and popped himself, leading the remaining clones to do the same in intervals so as not to melt my brain.

___________________________________________________________________________

Back at the tower I sat upon the provided bed while meditating with healing chakra flowing through my head to battle the headache of processing hundreds of life and death battles against one of the most versatile warriors in the setting. It wasn't the same as going all out against him, but I picked up a massive amount of experience in elite tier combat, and with proper processing it would grow my spirit greatly.

"Who was that guy!" Naruto shouted at me from across the room, "He was so badass! I thought you said Kusa didn't have any great shinobi. Suck it, dude. That guy kills."

"That was a former Konoha shinobi wearing the face of a Kusa Genin." I corrected the blonde wonder who didn't even have a slight bother from his clones dying en masse against Orochimaru's.

"Oh man… that's so gross." Naruto's face pulled tight in disgust.

"Still was battle straight out of legend." I smirked, "That fight was the tits, dude."

"Fuck yeah it was!" Naruto shouted and pumped his fist, "I was like, 'Taste kanabo, bitch!' and he was like 'Nah, man. Have some giant snake!' and I was all 'Feel every ounce of my club, giant snake!' and he was all…

Naruto narrated his battles for a long time after that.