49 Dread

Shi Yen woke up next to Yuan Shun, sleeping against her in the morning. She watched as his chest rose and fell in shallow breaths. His hair was a beautiful mess, toppling over his eyes.

She reached out to trace the sharp lines of his jaw, trailing down to his chest to feel his steady heartbeat.

She wondered how she could have hated someone so kind, humorous, and vulnerable. For a long time, she had felt nothing until she met Shun. She may have felt rage and anger towards him at first, but it was something—an emotion. And then he opened other parts of her that she had left behind and long forgotten.

Shi Yen found one of his hands, interlacing his fingers with hers. Yuan Shun stirred. He collected her in his arms in his sleep, and Shi Yen's heartbeat raced. She felt more aware of him, shyer, ever since she discovered what the depths of her feelings were.

She had never depended on anyone for so long, but with Yuan Shun…she felt safe. And yet she was keeping secrets from him—dark and haunting secrets. She remembered just being in a crowded room with her organization, and they parted when she walked by, giving her space, not out of respect, but out of fear.

Would Yuan Shun be afraid of her if she were to be upfront about her unusual past?

"Your heart is beating rapidly," his crisp and drawling voice sounded.

Shi Yen reddened, snapping out of her dazed stupor. "You're cheeky," she said.

Yuan Shun shot her a sleepy grin. He squeezed her tighter, breathing near her ear.

Shi Yen released a breath. "What do you want to do today?" she questioned him.

"I want to stay in bed…with you."

Shi Yen let out a breathy laugh. "We should meet with the others," she said. "They must be worried about you."

"I just want to pretend as nothing happened," he said.

"Then we'll spend the day having lots of fun to keep our minds off everything," she told him.

Yuan Shun looked at her, sincere and earnest. "I don't deserve your consolation or your sympathy."

Shi Yen frowned. "Don't," she breathed. "Don't be hard on yourself." She grabbed his hand, rubbing softly over his skin. "For once, stop thinking."

Yuan Shun shot her a lazy half-smile. His expression was still worn and sad. It made her heart ache. She felt like doing nothing more than making all of his problems and suffering go away.

He kissed her knuckles, warm and affectionately. It made Shi Yen imagine a glimpse of their future—long and happy together. But she didn't want to get her hopes up. All of this was new, and it frightened her.

Yuan Shun would be repulsed with her past. If not, then she'd be dead when the Emperor finds her. She didn't understand why, but she lately had been feeling a sense of dread following her everywhere she went. She had been so careful, and yet she felt like a phantom was close.

And she'd been preparing to face him, but the idea of leaving behind Yuan Shun just when they found each other made her eyes sting. She fought back the urge to cry.

Noticing her expression, Yuan Shun questioned, "What's wrong?"

Shi Yen shook her head. "Nothing." She swallowed the lump in her throat. She'd been so damn emotional, and it was Yuan Shun's fault—he'd been unravelling her piece by piece that she hadn't even noticed until she was left bare.

She stole a quick kiss from his mouth before she stirred out of bed, dragging him out. Shi Yen guided him to the connected bathroom. She then helped him remove his clothes, and he did the same to her.

Naked, Shi Yen turned on the shower, entering it with him. She washed and scrubbed him clean, and he returned the favour. Water was everywhere, and they were skin on skin. But they didn't do anything besides kiss.

When they finished, Yuan Shun put on a fresh pair of clothes, and Shi Yen used the same shirt she borrowed from him to sneak back to her room and change.

They then met with everyone else in the kitchen.

By the look of their friend's expressions, they were each hungover expect Yuan Xinyi, who were serving them lunch.

Shi Yen then found Shizi. She picked her up in the air and Shizi licked her face, lashing her tail. She fed her before she went to sit next to Yuan Shun.

Fang Qi was wearing dark sunglasses. His head titled back with his dirty-blonde hair tousled and mussed over the rims. He groaned slightly, and Yuan Xinyi gave him a drink in response.

He gulped down a green smoothie drink, wincing at the taste. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he told her.

Shi Yen watched as Yuan Xinyi reddened, and she was disappointed that Fang Qi didn't realize the effect he had on the girl. Yuan Xinyi ignored his remark and pretended as if it was nothing.

That day, they toured the city, visiting restaurants to try local dishes, drinks, and to spend time as a group.

In the evening, they built a campfire in an area that wasn't too damp or dry. Surrounding it, they gazed into the flames and watched a moth get lost in the fire.

…

For the rest of the trip, they made the most of it. It was the most fun and relaxing trip Shi Yen had ever been in, and she felt like she didn't want it to be over.

At home, it felt surreal.

Before the trip, she and Yuan Shun were at each other's throats, and they returned as lovers.

She went straight to the laundry room to do a load before she washed up and took Shizi with her to crash on the bed.

In her sleep, she could have sworn she felt a hand smoothing out the strands of her hair from her face gently. She leaned into the softness of the form that enveloped her. She heard a man's voice, low and dreamy, ask: Is it okay to get my hopes up?

Shi Yen may have whispered back: "yes," but she wasn't too sure.