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DEAR DIARY;

Monday;

23:00

We haven't really been talking for a while now. Since the picture stuff, the lie and the fight. Even when we did, it was just the "hi, hello, how was your day" kind of talk. Nothing important.

For a whole year now, we hadn't really talked like we used to.

We would talk all day and night .We never got bored of each other, there was always something to talk about, his life ,my life, our life together. What it would be like if we got married. Everything was in the past now. It all seemed useless to even think about.

I couldn't even believe we talked of getting married when i was only 16. How desperate for love I must have been. How much I wanted to feel the warmth of another on my skin. To place a kiss on his sweet lips, our tongues interlocking, with me caressing his hair as much as I wanted to with no one to stop me. How much I had imagined what would happen between us.

It was different now, we'd grown, we'd learned. We knew life gives more than we expect, or even hope for. We knew life wasnt all about the things we had hoped for each other. The life we dreamt about for ourselves.

Sometimes I even wonder if we were still friends or strangers that had never met or once told each other how badly they were in love with each other. Even when we do get to talk, there was nothing we could talk about, nothing more to say.

Today was different, I wanted to talk to him now, maybe clear up a little of what we had in the past. I was feeling really terrible for everything, so I picked up my phone, and scrolled through it searching for his number. I found it and typed in "Hi, its Catriona" I wondered if I was doing the right thing, rekindling a relationship that was long dead, even if we never dated or did any of things I had imagined we would, it was as though we did and in our hearts we knew. I hit the send bottom not knowing what to expect and within few minutes his reply came in.

"Hey, Miss Cat" and that was it. Nothing else. I had expected him to say more, to ask how I was doing, how i've been all these while. Its been months and how could he just say "Hey" like everything was okay. What was I supposed to say to his Hey.

I starred at my phone, his name written in bold letters and my mind wondered off to the first time we met, the first time he called out my name. I had gone out to meet a friend who was friends with him. I was introduced to him. I stretched out my hand to shake him, but he took them and kissed them instead like we were still living in the fifties.

"Miss Cat" he said looking into my eyes. "A lovely name for a beautiful lady"

"Thank u" redrawing my hand from his grip "Its Catriona to you. Only close friends may call me Cat" I said trying not to sound rude.

He looked at me, this time he let out a chuckle from the corners of his lips. I imagined what kissing him would be like, what he'd taste like.

I had never kissed a guy in my life, except one time I was 5, and other dares in school which didn't even last 5 seconds. I've never had a true kiss, other girls in school said it was fun and I really hoped he tasted like vanilla.

After that day, we had a lot of hook ups, I never invited him home. We met at eateries, malls or sometimes his place, but never mine. He wasn't pushy at first. He was caring, kind, nice, had very red lips, with cute dimples you just wanted to deep your hands into and he was very tall, everything a girl wanted.