35 Those nasty boggarts

Time flew by quickly in Hogwarts as the students settled in for either their first year or just fresh back from a nice summer vacation. The first week of school was typically seen as a refresher course on what was covered in the previous years to test the students retention abilities.

In charms and transfiguration the professors ran the third years through their previous courses in order to flex their magical muscles in a sense as most students couldn't practice safely on their break. Astronomy and History however continued forward with the regular topics so the students just attended another class and did self reading.

Herbology class was actually difficult for most, all the plants and fungi the students had cared for in the previous year had been under the tender care of Madam Sprout. She had the class evaluate the growth of the specimens so she could decide if they should be passed to the lower years for their syllabus or pushed to a Newt level to offer them a challenge of some sort.

Doesn't sound difficult? Well mandrakes can kill with a screech once they mature and no one knows precisely if they achieved it over the summer break. Neville was praying to magic that these new earmuffs work, he spent all his birthday money on them after he saw a well done article in herby hobby weekly. A herbologist gossip rag essentially.

The next class that the students endured was Snape who is feeling particularly vindictive. After all now his three month escape from the dunderheads is over and now they're back staring at him slack jawed. So he selects a potion that was referenced only once in their previous two years that he noted would be harsh to brew and assigned that to the third years. They covered it after all, so they should be able to brew it! He was magnanimous enough to leave the instructions on the board in his usual bat like scrawl.

Jon and Mordred parted ways to sample the new topics in their separate new subjects. When they met in the common room they were buzzing with ideas on how to apply what they learned. Meanwhile their professors were sharing a bottle of whiskey in Minerva's office. None of the women who taught the subjects expected the royal duo to have already a wide plethora of theoretical knowledge. They had to answer question after question of different applications which they'd either never considered or never heard off. Certainly strained their brains.

The last subject that the third years cover this week is DADA or defence against the dark arts. Professor Remus Lupin brings a new kind of energy into the class. He evaluated what the students already know. Some cobbled together spells from first year that Quirrel struggled to teach due to his speech impediment and all self taught knowledge because Lockeheart was a dickless fop.

Most of the students spent the next two weeks having an accelerated crash course on their first two years that brought them upto level. Lupin assigned essay and publicly corrects their answers in the next class to get the right answers into their heads. Next he has them display the spells on a mannequin, finally he ran them through mock duels where they fling spells at each other like chimps slinging shit then have them display the level equivalent shield charms.

Jon, Mordred, Harry and Hermione just run through the motions and read ahead. The first three have tested their magic in life or death battles while the last is a nerd with a fixation on being the best. Whilst Lupin was subtlety suggesting to Harry other uses for the spells Jon spoke to Mordred.

"So we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?"

Mordred nods "yes some people have indeed gotten quite fat over the summer" she responds a little too loudly causing the women to rest their palms over their stomachs. Mordred smiles mischievously before Jon cuts her down as per usual.

"No I was talking about the walking talking dare to the gods teaching the class". He deadpans.

Mordred tilts her head in a manner that has some of the simps in the room drool. "You got anything specific or are you exaggerating his moustache. Thing looks like some fuzzy Amazonian caterpillar died on his lip so just buried itself in there."

Said teacher had his eyebrow twitch at that, werewolf enhanced hearing has its perks. Jon replied "while that is on the list I would say his name is a major one."

"His name? Not his clothes that make look like a mangy mutt?"

"Yes his name Mordred, his parents must have wanted to piss off every wolf god imaginable. Remus Lupin, Wolf Wolf. It's like he's begging to have a werewolf encounter. Lupa herself would alert every canine creature within a hundred miles of his presence."

Remus freezes in his place at this. Mordred chortles at this "yeah he does kinda smell like wet dog now that you mention it. Also he never wiped the brown smudge off his nose since we've seen him."

"You saying he's a brown noser or that he just enjoys sniffing somethings arsehole."

"Both? The Hitler haircut he's rocking isn't exactly indenturing him to me. He needs to be taken to a place that would clean him up, wash him, give him a nice shiny coat? I can't think of any spa that would offer a service like that." The werewolf in the room has veins slowly begin to bulge in his forehead.

"No but I know a good dog groomers that would" Jon says calmly. Remus feels like he could snap a wand! Or a wrist! Whatever comes first!

"Alright class I think that's enough practising! Gather round! It's time to review one of the most common pests a wizard deals with." Professor Lupin announces.

Jon turns to the Gryffindor boys and smiles "so he wants us to attack him off the bat. It isn't even a full moon yet." The boys laugh, they think he's talking about the yearly Dada teacher attack. Professor Lupin however only hears werewolf prejudice.

"We're reviewing the common Boggart, this creature is theorised to use a legilimentic probe to assess the victims fears and transform into them so as to scare them away. Some people believe that they feed on the fear so that why they make their victims try to soil their beds in fear."

Neville shakily asked "like a dog?" Remus locked onto him immediately and escorted him upto the shaking cabinet. From there professor Snape made a guest appearance and was outed as a transsexual to the school. "Bout time! He's been in that closet of his ages!" Mordred announces causing laughter. The open crack at snivellus did nothing to abate his anger. He just smiled in a lopsided grin and slowly made the children face their fears.

Large insects, giant clowns and several magical creatures later was presented at the front of the class. The boggart began twirling while Mordred raised an eyebrow, she didn't feel a probe on her shields.

The boggart stopped spinning and showcased a grey haired Mordred in her red outfit. Her skin was heavily wrinkled and her chest was flat as a board.

"Oh my magic! She fears growing up without a set of tits!"' Shouted Jon that made Mordred snap at him "shut up snow fucker!"

Rapid spinning occurred before another clown appeared in-front of the captive audience. "Ohohoho hey there Gerogie! Wanna play a game? Is this your little boat?" Asks penny wise the dancing clown before it launches at Mordred with its face shifted into many of the horrors from the movie. Mordred just frowned as it stopped infront of her.

Mordred said "I was startled by the jump Scares in that movie. Not real fear just a temporary reaction, I've seen far worse than that.

The boggart not receiving its intended result again spun around again and showcased an armour individual standing tall above Mordred (not very difficult says Jon while Mordred glares). A mature Artoria Pendragon looms over Mordred and states coldly.

"I refuse to acknowledge it, you will never wear this crown as you are unworthy." Mordred just stares blankly being replying "been there done that asshole! You got anything better or is this it? Riddikulus!"

The brooding Artoria transformed into a chibi Nero Claudius that began Umuing at an intense pace. It was legit vibrating in place causing some people to laugh. The girls asked who the two people were so she said "my dad and my aunt". When lavender twirled her hair "your dads hot!" She just snarled and pushes her to the peanut gallery.

Lupin was surprised, the boggart failed on three separate occasions! Either it's tired out somehow or that girl isn't normal. He really should have spoken to McGonagall about her before he started teaching the class. He shook his head and watched as Jon walked forward gracefully.

He stood in front of the Umu bride as it began to spin. It took far longer than the others to decided on a shape before a massive black snarling insect abomination rose up in-front of the class. Several people screamed as the freshly transformed Xenomorph extended another mini mouth that drilled acid.

"What the bloody hell is that thing?!?!" Screamed Ron weasely.

Jon shrugged "that's a xenomorph, common pest in Westeros. Was startled by one when I was like four when my stepmom told me stories about how they plant their eggs in people and burst out of their chests when their born." The class was horrified.

Jon then spoke "fire and bullet can certainly kill them though. Haven't been scared since I was a brat to be fair."

The xenomorph snarled before spinning into a heavier solid shape that main Jon yell for everyone to back the hell up. Infront of the class was a stone statue of an angel.

"Nobody move and do not take your eyes off that!" Jon yelled. The class was alert but just stared at the statue. Malfoy scoffed "really? A Christian statue scares you? What is Jon afraid of the cross" he mocked as he walked towards it. The class slowly eased up and at one particular moment everyone blinked while Jon was looking at Malfoy.

Draco yelped as a stony hand clasped his tie and locked it in place. He yelped and began to sweat "what?!?"

Jon snapped his wand and sent a cutting charm at the tie before pulling the bitch boy away. Professor Lupin was aiming at the statue as his instincts were screaming for him to run.

"Mr Snow what is that thing? It doesn't seem to be a boggart anymore."

Jon continued to stare at the angel so Mordred explained "that's a Weeping Angel sir, it's also nicknamed the gentle killer. Though that's complete horseshit if you've ever encountered one".

The class stared at the angel and listened raptly as Mordred continued "the Weeping Angel looks like a Christian statute but that's just how it blends in. The monster is Quantum locked, it can't move as long as it's being watched and remains stone. A muggle can't kill a stone without getting close after all."

Malfoy tried to stand taller "it hunts mud bloods then?"

Mordred stated coldly "because their easier pray, it's called the gentle killer because it sends its prey back in time and often is known to trap them. It feeds of the paradox of someone being displaced you see. It wants you to live a long life so it gets a bigger meal. Essentially it ages you to death."

Jon then spoke as he continued staring at the Angel not having blinked once the entire time "The DOM learned about these freaks and hunted them down and exterminated the lot. When an Angel tries its luck on a wizard it can't send them back as far as a muggle due to the natural magic resistance of wizards."

Malfoy and some Slytherins puffed their chests until Jon killed that pride "so they snap wizards necks and eat them the old fashioned way." The pure bloods were really scared now.

Hermione being curious asked "how did they get wiped out or discovered? I've never read anything like this?" Several of her classmates glared at her as if to say 'really?! Right now?!'

Jon however obliged "during the time period known as WW2 a platoon of Grindlewald's acolytes were vandalising a muggle church. That was one of these things hunting grounds where they best blend in. Killed half of them before they killed it when no one was looking. A stray bombarda saved their lives.

They brought this info to Grindlewald who wanted these creatures captured and analysed. When more men kept dying or disappearing only for decade old corpses to be found he stepped in personally". The classes attention was enraptured as Jon narrated whilst he transfigured mirrors to surround the Angel closing it off from all light only with a small hole available.

" the dark lord crafted a spell to track them and hunted them all in Europe personally whilst his followers exterminated the ones in the Americas at his instruction. He tracked the Angels to Greece where in ancient times they posed as statues of the gods to hunt back then.

People just assumed the gods spirited them away back then. Records left by priests who were actually their victims showed the results. The victims tried to make the temples they inhabited fade into obscurity so no one would come near. Unfortunately the Angels migrated, they killed the priests and the victims then learned that the weeping statues like to kill for fun. When Grindlewald read accounts of ancient wizards who studied them he decided to exterminate the species.

The ICW caught wind of this and agreed so actually followed his footsteps. This move gained him some more followers during the peak of the war. The unspeakables later discovered that when an Angel is ground into a fine powder or sand it could manifest chronomatic effects. The Weeping Angels are the main ingredient of time turners which is why the things are so rare. No source of ingredients to make more."

The mirror coffin shook as the spinning noise reoccurred. The class was shocked into silence and could understand why Jon would fear a thing like that. Hermione was horrified that the thing dangling from her neck came from such a monster.

When the spinning stopped a chill began to spread into the room. The mirrors containing the Angel shattered. Infront of the class stood a blue warrior of some kind wielding a blade of pure ice. It's presence was like a dementor some noted internally.

The Night king of Westeros graced Hogwarts with his presence. The wards of the castle flared and alerted the professors that they needed to be at the defence classroom ASAP.

The boggart slowly turned to Jon and reached for its weapon. As it grasped it a *snickt* noise echoed out. Longclaw buried itself in the creatures chest cavity and it shattered into fine powder. Jon cast Ventus and blew the powder into the cupboard from where the boggart was released.

Jon turned to the stunned class "Class dismissed, I'm getting some hot chocolate". He gathered his things and left the room snapping everyone from their stupor. They grabbed their stuff and rushed out to follow his lead. Chocolate is good for dementor exposure and that certainly felt like it.

Before Harry could run out Lupin stopped him "Harry meet me later, I'm going to teach a special charm incase something like this happens again."

Harry nodded looking quite pale before he left the room and the other professors rushed in. "Remus what in the name of Merlin! Did you bring to the school?!?" Came from McGonagall as Remus just sighed. His anger at the werewolf jokes long forgotten. He firmly decided to just let Jon Snow and Mordred Pendragon say whatever they want. He can dock Slytherin for their points instead. "REMUS LUPIN!!!" Shouted McGonagall.

Remus sighed "maybe I am cursed by Lupa".