94 It's All Me 2

Tana wasn't the same when I met her again... the years had taken their toll and the life in her eyes was gone. She no longer covered the scarred half of her face and didn't even try to appear presentable. it seemed like even walking was strenuous for her most days but, she still offered me a weak smile and said,

"Welcome to the glass palace, if you need anything, please ask me." She ruffled my hair leaving me alone in the hall with my brothers.

"Tana is so gross and annoying." Zaikel, the Lightning Incarnation of this generation commented. I glared at him,

"I didn't get that impression at all... she seemed sincere." He laughed loudly and some of the others joined in,

"Are you like super naive or just blind?" That's when I punched him. He turned his head in the direction of the hit and sat silently. The room grew quiet and a second later she was powered up and charging at me at a high speed. I'm nowhere near as fast as him. I couldn't even see him move but I knew what he was going to do ahead of time so I was ready. His fist phased through me, causing him to stumble and crash against the wall behind me.

"You don't know her, so shut up." He turned to me ready to yell again when Valin, the youngest of us all stepped between us and said,

"Stop fighting, we're all stuck here, we should at least try to get along." I frowned and walked away. Multiple things were bothering me, the fact that I got reincarnated... because I died, Zaikel... how worn down Tana looked, and the fact that she didn't recognize me at all. Did I even make an impact on her? I know all the incarnations look similar to one another but it's still disappointing.

I pretended to know the bare minimum required so that I could spend extra time with Tana.

"You told me you would practice all night and yet you still fail to do the most-" I cut her off by saying,

"Have I told you the name my parents gave me?" She paused and tilted her head,

"No... and I don't see how it's relevant to theories on sleep gas."

"They named me Hyzi." Her eyes lit up knowingly... she hadn't forgotten me at least. "It means daylight... or hope. They wanted me to always look to the future positively."

"Oh... that's... a wonderful name." Her tone had changed completely but the emotions I was sensing were too complex to place.

"I read that the Chosen of Smoke from Generation 2 had the same name!" She sat quietly, staring at her lap. "Isn't it a cool coincidence?" I kept my voice light-hearted so I was shocked when the tears came out her eyes. She hurriedly started wiping them away with her wrists and said,

"Oh I am sorry, please forgive me. I ... can't... I can't seem to stop."

"... Oh... were you close?" I asked, even though the answer scared me.

"Yes... we were friends..." She took a deep breath and sat up, fanning her face to dry the remaining tears.

"Can we be friends too?" I asked, as soon as this question left my throat her aura shifted and the Tana I knew curled up deep within herself as something else took over.

"Of course, we can be friends!" This thing stated cheerfully, "Oh, have you heard of the Power Ceremony." It asked. Her curse was now swallowing her whole body but there was a barrier up, keeping me from being able to touch it.

"What is the Power Ceremony?" She then gave me a thorough explanation, hearing it made my face feel hot... because imaging her performing such a ritual with countless other Chosen made me angry. It made me jealous, it made me want to cry or hit something. "Why are you doing that?" I inquired, shocking the spirit that took over.

"Wow... no one ever cared about, why before. I... want you to be strong, when you leave the palace you need to be strong to survive. Even if I train you with all my might, we're outnumbered so you need an edge... I wish there was another way... or that you were allowed to do it with someone else but... I'm the only one who knows how and... I'm not allowed to reveal it to anyone outside the palace." My question seemed to bring her back, "I'm sorry... I don't know why I even brought that up, let's get back to our lesson, hmm?" I knew everything she was telling me because I had learned it all in my past life and even then I hid everything I was capable of, just to spend more time with her. Unlike in my past life, if Tana felt like I was showing interest in her she'd avoid me to the best of her ability. She made sure to arrive for our lessons on time and leave on time even if I claimed I needed more help. I guess I scared her away.

We were left alone together for the first time in a while after Netalai chose his "Right" to vow away. He chose to get rid of his inhibitions and it seemed like his personality did a complete 180 as soon as it was completed. When we choose a vow we can feel something flip inside of us, maybe it's our body's way of keeping us alive by making it harder to go against the promise we made.

"Isn't there something... That you feel like you could live without?... Like Cera gave up feeling physical pain, that may be useful."

"Yeah, I won't notice I'm dying until it's too late." I can't believe Cera chose something so dangerous... what was he thinking?

"... Well Raijian gave up lying." I scoffed, I need to lie just to get through a normal week. There's no way I could choose that...

"No thanks that sounds inconvenient. I rarely lie but... one day I might need to. I want to... lose my sense of taste. They never season the food here and the poison I need to drink is also so bitter, I'm better off without it." If I don't eat, drink, or inhale toxins daily I'll get sick, and my powers will lose potency. The food they give us lately is terrible, it was better in my past life so maybe taking away the seasoning is a way for Vetro to subtly punish us for something, he is very petty.

"There has to be something you love to eat... there are still 5 hours left, maybe I could get a treat for you before you make this choice... Taste is one of the 5 major senses and the power you gain will be immense but... your brothers have only given up bits and pieces, that won't impact their life so greatly, I just think-" She was talking so much that I was entranced and gave into the urge to kiss her, managing to change my target to her cheek at the last moment.

"I've made up my mind... but thank you." She touched her cheek and her eyes lit up so I knew she was flustered... and her face was bright red. I thought she'd have more immunity against me because I'm younger, I could get addicted to seeing her make this face. "... Do I have to leave, now?" I asked, and then I touched where I'd kissed, tracing my fingers over her stitches.

"You should go," She shouted. I was hurt so I decided to tease her by saying,

"Wow... are you blushing?... At your age?" She hid her face from me

"Do not mock me!" Her response was so cute I couldn't help but laugh, then she peeked out at me and I got onto my feet.

"Fine, I'll go." I settled on losing my sense of taste and I could feel the effects instantly. A surge of power swirling inside of me and my perception of the smells in the room felt altered as well. She silently watched me as I left, but I could hear her heart racing, I must have caught her off guard today... good. Netalai was waiting near the exit and he approached me and said,

"I want to be friends with you." I was stunned at first but once I settled down I patted his head and said,

"Sounds good... what do you want to do?" He beamed happily,

"Can we play cards together? We can talk during... You seem really cool, I want to know more about you." Without those inhibitions, the words are just spilling out of him.

"Sure." He then left cheerfully and I sat on the floor near the door for a few minutes... It just hit me how bold I was, I have to be strategic in this life, I can't die again so I'll need to tear down the entire monarchy. I shouldn't be so obvious... The first step is figuring out exactly what I can do now. After leaving, I saw Netalai waiting near my room, he waved at me.

"Is it okay if we hang out in your room?" He tilted his head as he asked me this and I nodded, "Alright then I'll be right back." He stated with a smile and as he turned to leave I called out,

"Hey, since we're friends. You can call me Hyzi... It's my birthname." He turned to me and smiled,

"My birthname is Fyriga... but I prefer Netalai. You can call me Nelly if you like." He sounded shy as he added the last part,

"I'll be waiting in my room then, Nelly." My response perked him up again then he rushed off to do whatever he was planning... It feels like I can trust him. I don't think anyone here ever sincerely tried to befriend me, even in the past, except Tana. Netalai began visiting me regularly, to play cards, vent his grief towards Rytem or just joke around. I imagine this is normal but even in my past life, my brothers kept their distance from me, especially the Chosen of Lightning. He was always pissed off when he saw me... I guess that hasn't changed.

My brothers all escaped the palace one day, except me. I needed to stand out as little as possible so I stayed in put and created a crack in my bedroom wall while the barrier was down. I could send my clone through the crack and trade consciousness to look around, and since it was a clone, changing my appearance was a piece of cake. I witnessed things I hated like my brothers being punished for escaping, multiple times but I had to stay out of it, to fly under the radar, while I gathered various complex toxins from outside the castle... my target doesn't play fair so neither will I. Vetro has been asking me to kill him for a long time. I know he hid some type of device in my body in the past so my primary focus was locating it and destroying it without him noticing.

The only time I broke my composure was when I found out that Tana had performed the ritual with Zai... why did she invite him?! I knew that when she was near Zai the essence of Lightning would take over and she'd behave amorously... I knew she wasn't in control but that didn't stop me from starting a fight.