Chapter 36

As soon as his cup was empty he got onto his feet and said,

"Bye." Then marched over to the trashcan, I followed him and said,

"Why don't we do something else together? I'm off today so I'm not in a rush." His eyes moved in my direction, and then he pulled out his phone and replied to a text and said,

"No, I have plans." As he moved towards the exit, I grabbed his sleeve. What's wrong with me, why can't I just let him leave?

"If you need anything else, tell me." After that, I finally let go and he didn't reply... It feels like it was yesterday when we were together... The Valin who I lived with cherished me, so it's hard to imagine him being promiscuous... but the version of him that was never with me; ranted about wanting a girlfriend and being lonely. Thinking back now, it was clear that he was joking to alter the mood but back then I was taking him seriously, and thought he had 0 charisma. Well, it doesn't matter and I have no reason to be bothered. I texted Zai letting him know I would be on the way home soon. Once I returned Zai had a meal prepared for me.

"Welcome home." He greeted. He looked the same as always, handsome, ethereal, and yet my heart isn't doing the same backflips it usually does... I just need to push through the next 6 days and everything will return to normal. I'd stop wondering about who Valin was texting, why he was too "busy" to spend time with me or if he was planning on meeting that girl again... or if he called Lisa. I'll be able to not care about any of that.

"You cooked?" I asked, making sure to add excitement and cheer to my voice.

"I got bored waiting on you," Zai replied. I scoffed then made my way to the kitchen to fix my own plate. "How did the cafe trip go? Did he make a scene?"

"You'll be shocked to hear, he actually noticed I was uncomfortable last time and made efforts to fix his behavior." I was smiling, as if telling a funny story but Zai looked pale

"You're right... I am shocked. That's... weird." I'm trying to be honest and open with him about what's going on, my intent is to stay faithful until these lingering memories subside but judging by Zai's face I might be being too open. We spent the rest of the day together and eventually, my mind was able to accept that this is the person I'm with. I had been feeling gross and detached since I'd come back. I'm so glad it was only temporary. Zai changed the subject, telling me how Mark had set up a photo shoot for me in a few days. It feels like forever since I worked.

"For the album cover?"

"Yeah, and for articles they plan to release before your debut." This is really happening... I always wanted to make millions happy with my voice. "I'm happy that you only sing for me." The memory of Valin saying this suddenly hit me... in that moment, I didn't care if anyone else heard me sing, I was content with just him.

"O-oh... I'm feeling nervous I think... I need to lay down." It's true I was feeling nausea,

"Okay..." Zai sounded worried but he didn't stop me from rushing upstairs. Even if I explained to him what's wrong he'd never be able to understand. Before I would feel weird going so long without sleeping with him or somebody but... sadly, Valin is a very talented lover and he may have ruined me until these God dang memories disappear. I know if I sleep with Zai, he'll definitely know something is wrong. I wish I could forget everything right now, that would make my whole life easier. My phone vibrated so I checked to see a text from Lisa, it was in all CAPS,

"VALIN CALLED ME!!" I had no idea they exchanged numbers... he did say she was pretty and I left them alone on more than one occasion and he was so well-behaved at that get-together that it was sickening,

"Oh, so you were serious about him? I thought you may have just had too many drinks lol." I texted back, I wanted to sound more excited for her but each message felt insincere so I couldn't send it.

"Of course! He looks so cute! And he seemed really sweet."

"Don't let my little bro fool you, he's a menace," I replied.

"I'm a big girl, Snowe. I'm just so happy that I get to see him again. He's taking me out tomorrow, to be honest, I don't know if I made a good impression on him before, so this time I'm going to be sober and try again. Oh! And I heard about the photo shoot! I hope the pictures turn out awesome, sneak me some photos of the look you go with!"

"I hope it goes well too..." I replied but my eyes were filled with tears... my heart is too divided for this conversation. I'm so glad Zai isn't in this room with me right now. I laid down and drifted off to sleep for a while, it didn't feel like long when Zai came into the room and sat down next to me, he ran his fingers across my cheek so I opened my eyes and looked up at him. Then he kissed me and I fought down the part of me that didn't belong to him, I'm not telling him no tonight. It was sometime around Noon the next day when we separated from each other. Zai looked at the time and cursed before saying,

"Sorry, I promised to meet up with Rai today." He kissed me once more and I smiled before he walked away into the bathroom... I still feel so unsatisfied. I lifted up my phone and saw I had a message from Lisa, Richard, and Valin. I checked Valin's first it was just a corny math joke

"Why doesn't anybody talk to circles? Because there's no point." I giggled at how bad it was and replied,

"Your jokes suck." He actually replied instantly saying,

"You got something better?" I readied my fingers to respond when Zai came back into the room to get dressed. He dropped his towel on the floor and even though I'd seen him naked before I looked away bashfully.

"Glad to see you're in a good mood. Hope it lasts till I get back." He commented while pulling his clothes on, then he pecked my cheek and left the room. That's when I replied to Valin saying,

"I'm not the one acting like a low-rate comedian." He sent a laughing emoji and then texted,

"Fine. What did the carrot say to the rabbit?" I thought about his question, it's an obvious setup for another joke. But I couldn't think of an answer so I said,

"What?"

"Nothing, because it's carrot. Idiot." I laughed out loud and thought about how to reply this time, seems like sassiness gets his attention better. "Zai just got here, not going to be available for a while." Zai only mentioned seeing RJ... but they're indeed all in a business together. From what I've seen, Valin's way with numbers was so impressive that he did most of the heavy lifting in all of their projects.

"You actually got a laugh but the joke was still lame. Hope the meeting goes well." There was no reply this time so I sat on the bed quietly, staring at my phone. Zai returned home around 6. He caught me sitting on the bed quietly and sat down next to me.

"Have you been in bed all day?" He inquired.

"I... guess I was just lonely." Zai laughed and put his arm over my shoulder.

"Even though we're together every day? You're so silly." Zai is back but I haven't heard from Valin at all. Oh yeah, I forgot what Lisa told me. He has a date today.

"Lisa told me she's going on a date with Valin tonight," I noted, Zai didn't seem too interested in what I just said instead he had an amorous look on his face and rubbed his hand on and in between my thighs. "Would Valin devour her?" I whispered.

"... That's something that only weak Afarions need to do... she'll be fine," Zai assured. His hand moved up towards my crotch so I said,

"Before that, I need to eat." He yanked his hand back, got onto his feet, and, said

"Okay... I'll prepare something for you." Then he smirked while leaving the room... Just 4 days left. Zai made me a quick meal, then insisted on taking a shower together. During which he couldn't keep his hands off of me. Our time spent there made an excellent distraction so I didn't complain, and just kept reminding myself over and over in my head that this is my husband. It was 20 hours later when Zai finally got his fill of me. He seemed surprised that I could finally match his vigor. I could tell he was happy as he lay there next to me panting. "You've... really grown... I should get back to training you in combat tomorrow." His hand grazed my cheek as he stared at me lovingly. I placed my palm against his cheek and smiled at him in return,

"I look forward to it." That's when I remembered to check my messages from Lisa and Richard. I rolled over and grabbed my phone. Zai cuddled close to me; planting kisses on my shoulder, then biting my neck. I'm lucky I don't have anything to hide, even if he peeked at my phone's screen.

Lisa: "Which outfit looks better?"

She attached 3 photos of dresses, since I never got back to her she texted me again saying,

"It's fine, I chose the red one! I'm so nervous/excited so... Nervited? I'll let you know how it goes! Text me if you want the updates!! ♥♥♥" I replied asking her how it went. Then moved on to Richard's text which said he emailed me a sound file he'd like me to listen to. It's late so I don't expect Lisa to get back to me until tomorrow.

"Snowe..." Zai whispered my name, sat up, and asked, "Are you ready to continue?" I yelped and covered my face.

"Are you trying to kill me?!" He laughed, putting one hand on my hip, tilting my body towards his.

"I don't want to waste the time we have right now... I hold back so much when you're working, Snowe. You don't understand." He spoke while kissing down my neck. My heart tingled, I could feel my feelings toward him growing.

"You're wrong... I do notice and I do understand..." I placed my hand on his shoulder and he took that as affirmation to continue.