2nd - Ongoing

Working has become tiring, getting tips is nice and I loved learning how to make new drinks at first but nowadays it's hard to just leave the house. Maybe I need to take some time off. Why am I even working so hard anyway? It's even harder lately since I can't seem to get my mind off Valin. I returned home and opened the door to find him in his usual spot on the couch, he was shouting,

"How the F**k did you miss?! He was right there! There's no hope for you, just uninstall the game." I shut the door causing him to look up in my direction and say, "Bye" While closing his laptop and removing his headset "Welcome home! How was work?" His expression turned sweet, if he had a tail, I'm sure it'd be wagging. I sat down beside him and said,

"It was boring... And it's getting hard to get up in the morning to go..." Should I mention it's because I miss him... or would that be too clingy?

"Then quit." I gasped and turned to him,

"What?! But I need to make money and build a resume! I need things and I need to move!"

"... Just stay here... I'll get you whatever you need." He mumbled this out shyly while avoiding eye contact.

"But... What if I trigger you again... aren't you worried?" My heart hurt bringing this up because part of me felt like maybe he forgot what happened between us, I'm afraid he'll realize how dangerous a relationship with me could be when all I want is to stay with him. My question caused him to click his tongue and say,

"Neuroplasticity," When I stared at him confused he expounded, "I had to change the way I think about you... I can't try to feel what you're feeling but I can care about your happiness just because you're important to me. If you can be open with me... I'll be fine. I can care about your feelings, I just can't relate to them. So never be afraid to talk to me, I'm happy to know your thoughts, no matter what they are. I'm not dumb enough to make the same mistake twice, and I'm not a fan of pain."

"You're... really putting in effort... but I... also want to keep working so I can get something for you...A gift!" I blurted out, while nervously playing with my fingers. He perked up suddenly and closed the gap between us.

"Something for me?" I nodded and said,

"What would you like?" He tapped his chin and glanced at me.

"...nothing... Though I'd accept anything you give me." I could tell he was holding his tongue, something he only learned to do recently.

"Tell me! I'm saving up, even if it's expensive I'll try!"

"I... want to... hear your sweet voice screaming my name." I blushed, "I want to have my way with you, for hours on end in multiple positions, until you can't take it anymore and mold your body to mine completely. I want to see how pretty you'll look gagging on my ****..." I didn't need him to go into so much detail!

"I... meant something that I could buy... w-with cash!" I replied, making him frown.

"Nothing." He grew quiet then sighed and turned the TV on.

"...Okay um... what... are we?" I asked, for clarity. It's about time we had this conversation. I need to know before I say what else is on my mind. I can't be afraid to ask him forever.

"... You're my girlfriend, aren't you? I thought that's why you moved in with me." I punched his arm,

"You never asked me out!" He rubbed where I hit and replied,

"I asked you to live with me! Of course, I want to be with you, we kiss every day... and you said you liked me... Did only I think we were together?... That's kind of embarrassing..." I kissed him suddenly and said,

"We're together!... I want to ... be with you too..."

"Oh, that's good." He replied only slightly relieved and just continued browsing for something to watch. He doesn't get what I mean, or he'd be acting more excited... Do I have to be even more direct?!

"Let's... have sex, Valin." He crushed the TV remote in his hand as soon as I said this and I yelped. Shaking away the shards of plastic in his hand, he silently picked me up and carried me into his room. After gently laying me on the bed he got up and touched the headboard and the walls. They began glowing for a second and released a low humming sound. "What are you doing?"

"Putting up a fortification barrier... Would be a shame to break our new home and bed."

"You're making me, more nervous! Just so you know!" I shouted. Then he stood at the foot of the bed looked down at me fondly and said,

"You're so cute... Spread your legs." I had never heard him sound so commanding. I shut them tight because of sheer nervousness. I feel like my heart is going to burst!

"Val!" He quieted my protests, by pressing his mouth to mine, his hand slid under my skirt stroking me outside my underwear, at first then when my muscles relaxed they moved underneath, touching me with so much precision it was like he knew my body better than I did. I no longer wanted to argue, and his lips now only muffled moans. I felt my thighs part instinctively and it was then that he stopped kissing me and moved his mouth elsewhere. He wasn't exaggerating when he said he wanted to kiss every part of me. I had already orgasmed twice before he even penetrated me... I woke up the next day locked in his embrace, I have no idea how much time has passed. Valin was smiling at me and playing with my hair,

"I guess cuddling isn't that bad." I looked up at him and sat up, pulling the covers up over my chest.

"I... don't want to go to work today," I said,

"Then don't," after his response, I mounted him and leaned down, determined to return the same passion he had shown me earlier. Locking my lips to his. Needless to say, I know I'll be chewed out for skipping work, but being with him is so intoxicating, that I'm not ready to stop yet.

The next morning Valin came with me to work and we kissed outside the back door of The Happy Cafe before separating, with him walking off to the library.

"So you're saying you were sick?" My boss asked,

"Vomiting profusely ma'am, I couldn't even reach the phone." Kari tapped her desk,

"Doesn't your boyfriend live with you? Couldn't he call on your behalf?"

"Uh.. n-no... he was sick too... we were very sick together." I stammered out. My lie is making me flushed!

"Alright... I still have to write you up for not calling first." I hung my head and apologized, then joined my coworkers to help open the shop.

"I saw you and your man making out, outside." Aliyah teased. I blushed and said,

"Oh... I thought we were alone."

"I thought he was the shy type, but he looked real comfortable with you." My heart was racing, I found myself about to tell her what really happened yesterday but... I need to stick by my lies at least.

"He does get social anxiety, pretty bad."

"At first I thought he was just rude, but then I saw how he is with you, I knew he's nothing but a big softie." I walked away from her, feeling flustered.

"Oh stop, I'm trying to work!" She laughed,

"How young is he anyway?"

"He's only 3 years younger than me... so 21," I replied

"Yeah? That's his car that you drive to work every day too, right? If he was a little taller he'd be perfect. What is he, 5'9?" That's when I stopped walking and looked at her.

"He's already perfect!" She stopped stocking the shelves looked at me and said,

"Aww, you're so in love!"

"Shut up!" I shouted back in frustration. Aliyah then changed the subject to an affair the manager was apparently having with the new hire, she saw them kissing in the cold storage. When my shift ended and Valin came to get me his shirt was off, but he had on a tank top underneath, as he walked in, many eyes that had ignored him before, couldn't look away. He came directly to me and asked,

"Are you ready to go?" He was clutching his shirt and a thick book titled Quantum Theory.

"Yes... put your shirt on." I instructed and he groaned and rubbed his hair. It had gotten longer, it was only about 3 inches but now it was curling slightly on the ends.

"fine." He got dressed and waited for me at an empty table. As I packed up my things, Aliyah came to me and whispered,

"I see what you were saying now..." with a flushed face, eyes locked on him. I walked away from her and left a note on the manager's desk. Then I met up with Valin and left. As soon as we were out the door his hand was on my ass,

"Hey! Sir, we are in public!" He pecked my cheek, removed his hand, and then said,

"Don't call me sir... ma'am." He's right, I don't enjoy the "ma'am"... lesson learned. "If it makes you feel better you can grab me too. Touch me as much as you want." I blushed and looked away from him, "What? That's not the issue? hmm..." Being in the car alone with him was harder than I thought it'd be. I felt tense and excited. So as soon as we were parked I took the chance to grab him by the collar and plant my lips on his. We barely made it into the door before going at it like rabbits in the entryway. I would never have believed that this man could cause me to feel such intense lust, if I knew it would be like this, I never would have said no to him. We even ended up taking a shower together, falling asleep, and curling up together on the couch with a movie playing in the background. Valin woke me up early the next day and said "You're going to be late for work."

"Oh... I quit." I replied grumpily,

"What? Why" He asked,

"You said you didn't want anything. And... it's embarrassing to admit but I can't stand being away from you for hours.. so I quit... maybe one day, I can work from home... or do something else." I replied with a yawn. Valin yawned in response and sat up smiling.

"I'll order us some food then, what are you in the mood for?"

"I'll pay for it... I want burritos and nachos... and mango salsa too!" I was worried he'd be disappointed that I stopped working so soon but he didn't seem disappointed at all, instead, he seemed rather happy. "I used to want to be a singer." I admitted "But... that dream seems so far away now."

"You're still a singer, even if you're not famous. Your voice is beautiful.... and I'm happy that you only sing for me." I turned to him "You sing while you're cooking and cleaning, you even dance sometimes. It's adorable. And don't worry, if you still want to be a singer... I will support you." I didn't realize he had been watching me, now I'm self-conscious. Valin sat up from the couch, gently pulling away from me. Then he walked over to the desk and began writing in a book.

"What are you writing?" I asked out of curiosity.

"These are my Snowe notes... I want to make sure I keep the info up to date." He answered, continuing to write. I got up and said,

"Is it okay if I see it when you're done?" He didn't respond but after about 5 minutes he handed the notebook to me. The first page was an intricate sketch of me, along with notes about my likes and dislikes, some I never told him. My favorite foods, along with my favorite restaurants and most ordered meals. My favorite flowers, perfume scents; the movies that I reacted to the most. "did you draw this?" I decided to ask first,

"Yeah... oh I'm sorry is that something I should have asked permission to do first?" His response made me laugh, which caused him to pout.

"I just... it's so detailed, you're a great artist." I complimented.

"I like art." He admitted, still pouting. If he opened up by telling me he liked art first, I think my first time meeting him would have gone even easier.

"I wish I could draw," I said turning to the next page, which was a drawing of me asleep on one side and on the other side, things to avoid saying, topics that upset me, topics that cheer me up... I almost cried... I just realized how hard Valin fights against his vow, just to be with me and keep me smiling.

"I could teach you," Valin offered, pulling me from my thoughts. I wiped away a tear that was trying to sneak away and said,

"You must like teaching." He shook his head in denial, then said,

"I don't... but I have more patience for cute things and nothing in the world is cuter to me than you." His words struck my heart directly. The next page had a list of my favorite places to be kissed and a reminder in red that I'm shy and inexperienced, as well as other intimate things that I was too bashful to read so I closed his notebook and handed it back to him. Once he took ahold of it, I gave him a kiss stunning him momentarily. Then, because I became shy, I walked away and flopped onto the sofa.

"Sometimes you're so sweet... I can't stand it." I admitted, covering my face with my hands. Valin lay at my side, pressed up against me, and stroked my forehead before kissing it.

"... I like to study multiple things... math, chemistry, physics, music, art, but you are my favorite subject, I love learning new things about you." Valin's response seemed to be an attempt to double down on the sweetness assault. I moved onto my side so he'd have more room on the couch and grumbled,

"I must be incredibly boring compared to those subjects," He chuckled slightly before leaning down over me and smiling down at my face.

"That is true... that's why it's so perplexing that I find you so intriguing... maybe... because it's just because I love you..." My whole body heated up as if I was in front of a blazing furnace. He gently kissed me and as he pulled away I whispered.

"I love you too..." Causing both of us to blush in unison, "What if... your book gets full and you run out of things to learn about me?" I questioned, softly.

"Impossible... we're both constantly changing and I plan to witness every subtle change you go through for the rest of our lives." He's turning me on again but I have absolutely no energy left to do anything about it...

A little while later the doorbell rang, assuming it was our food I opened the door, but Zai was the one who was standing there.

"I heard you moved in with Valin... It's been a while." He eyed me so I covered up, and then he stepped inside.

"What are you doing here?" Valin hadn't the bedroom yet since he had to get dressed, so me and Zai were alone, for the moment.

"Wow... you look good... better than the last time I saw you. How've you been? I just wanted to see you, if that's okay." Me? Not his brother? I feel like we barely had 2 conversations before he left,

"Don't compliment me and... that doesn't make sense..." I replied feeling baffled

"I tried to stay away... But I failed... I..." Then he hugged me tight and I could feel his heart racing against me, his warmth. "If I knew you'd end up with Valin I would have never left." I pushed him away,

"You should go..." I declared, feeling disturbed.

"Please, just talk to me."

"Go!" I yelled, then he hung his head sadly and disappeared in the wind. That was strange... has he really been thinking about me this whole time? I remember how I felt when I first saw him... when I first laid eyes on Smoke, I thought he was handsome so I was shy, when I first saw Raijian I noticed his looks but my heart felt cold... perhaps because of the situation I just escaped from. But when I saw Zai for the first time, our eyes met and I felt a rush of energy throughout my whole body, I found myself wondering how it was possible for one person to be so beautiful... but I ran from him at every chance, every time he started a conversation with me I felt a voice telling me to leave, to reject him, and this voice didn't shut up until he was gone.

The food arrived a little later, around the same time Valin came downstairs. We sat on the couch and ate together, watching the news. The weather always seemed to fascinate him. I think talking about what just happened might kill the mood. I want to get my mind off Zai so I asked, "Valin... would... you ever get married?" He scoffed and said,

"Nope. What's even the point?" I felt a bit saddened by his answer, and then he turned to me and pinned me to the couch by my shoulders. "But... I do want to have a big family... and to have lots of children with you." I gasped and he started kissing my neck, "... We can start right now."

"D-don't say that," I mumbled frantically, then looked away as he undressed.

"Why?... I know how Infaniyan's work... so if you get pregnant, it's only because you want to have my baby." In order to prevent unwanted children, Angel cast a spell on all her descendants, so that we're all infertile until our mind is receptive to the idea of pregnancy. So he's not wrong... He opened the robe I was wearing and smiled,

"I haven't even thought about that before," I admitted, then shuddered beneath his touch as he fondled my breast. But... the idea of children running around that look like him is a nice one...

"I want us to be a family." He said as he kissed me and had his way with me there on the couch, whispering reminders of his intentions, with each thrust and I whispered back how much I loved and adored him in return, digging my nails into his back. I know without a doubt that a child was conceived, in that moment.

I awoke alone the next day, to the sound of someone knocking, when I opened it I found Zai sitting on the front porch,

"What are you doing here again?" I whispered coldly,

"I just want to talk to you." I replied, "I feel like I missed all my chances to have a proper conversation, like something was actively keeping us apart. You don't know how happy I am that you're finally acknowledging me now." I can't deny it was true... until now it was always hard to talk to Zai, painful even...

"We should talk with Valin in the room," I replied, and then I called out for Valin at the top of my lungs.

"Wait... I don't think he should hear what I have to say. He's sensitive."

"Then don't say it... and go home." His face looked truly defeated in that instant, I felt a little sorry for him.

"Well... should we all hang out in the future then?..."

"You... came here asking to see me first, you haven't even asked about Valin... I don't trust you... your intentions don't seem pure to me, so no." I can't deny I am naturally attracted to Zai, which is even more of a reason to stay away from him. He turned around to leave once again, and I could tell he wasn't going to return this time.

"Why was Zai here this time?" Valin asked, coming downstairs with a towel on his head.

"Oh... he wanted to talk to me... you knew he came yesterday?" I inquired. Valin smiled at me and patted my cheek,

"I know everything that goes on in my house..." I looked down and mumbled,

"Oh, I told him to leave... because it felt inappropriate, he wanted to speak without you around. And... the vibe was weird... Like he wants to be with me..." Then Valin said,

"I rather not... but if he shows up again, there will be a fight." His hand moved down to my stomach, causing me to blush, "I don't want to though, I hate violence." He added, for clarity

"I don't want it to come to that either... but no matter what happens, I'm with you and on your side, I don't want anyone but you... I love you, Valin." Nothing else had ever felt truer to me. No matter how attractive Zai is to me, it's nothing in comparison to how I feel for Valin or the anxiety I feel when I imagine losing him. He grinned widely then hugged me and tickled my neck with numerous kisses,

"I love you too," I could barely hear him through the sound of my own giggles. "Also, since we are having a family together, I change my mind about the whole marriage thing. Your mind is set on being with me, I might as well make it official. Is that what you want? I feel like I should have asked you what you wanted before blurting out my opinion like that... I'm sorry." Is Valin proposing to me?! He slipped a ring onto my finger, a platinum band with a large clear pink stone. "I made this for you... I hope you like it." Wait...is he implying I'm actually pregnant? He'd be likely to sense new life earlier than most because of his element. I started to cry and before I got the chance to reply the image of him faded away and the world around me became a blank canvas...

END-

"Welcome back Snowe," the White Rabbit greeted, then all my memories blended together and I screamed. "Now tell me, what choice have you made?" she asked and waited patiently until I quieted, and calmed down from the bombardment of my memories colliding. This is horrible...