Chapter 24: Hidden Emotions

Tamaya heard Evelyn declare they got tablets. "I suppose I should pick nine next time so I can see what your fantasy is Kis…" she grins, trying to lighten the mood as opacity descends. Expecting him to reply she finds his mind seems elsewhere as he keeps their distance.

The isolation puts his head on straight as he finds himself gazing away from Maya. It's twice now he's tried to confess his love to her and this time she literally shut him up with a finger to his lips. He starts regaining control over his body again as he waits for a click of a drawer or something to crop up in their currently sparse surroundings. He doesn't hear her voice as he realizes he can't imagine explaining this to his pastor even God about any of this! He looks around at the walls in confusion.

She can feel the tension building as she decides to come up beside him and brush some of his black hair out of his face. He quickly flinches and looks down at her with a scowl. Right now he clearly didn't want to be touched. She can see his eyes drift towards her perky breasts then bounce quickly back up with a frustrated sigh. 

"What do you want?" He seems to ask one of the walls.

Maya waited a moment but with no words prompted them, she whispers, "You." She didn't want him pulling away from her. She takes his hands gently caressing his palms with her thumbs.

This stops his mulling as he looks down at their joined hands. Looking into her eyes, he can't help but show some of the hurt in his. "I know. I-I'm weak to you Maya." It's then he sees words gratefully appear behind him. He lets one hand come up and caress her neck touching her collar as he feels one clink around his neck. "I care too much to ruin what we have out there. I know you're a free spirit but I-I can't be that out there."

"What?" She looks at him confused, frustrated by his words, the sadness in his eyes, "Stop pulling away from me Kisho." It's then she reaches up feeling her bare neck and sees the collar on his, "Goddammit stop being such a white knight!" Quickly she leans up kissing him square on the lips as her hands caress up his chest.

His hands come to her waist and gently pull her away, "Stop Maya."

She catches him looking up into the air that guilty look on his face, "Is this about God? Notice he's not here Kisho. We seem to be getting a breather. Why can't we do what I know we both desperately want? Please be my first my o--"

"N-No!" Kisho backs away with tears in his eyes. Angry and frustrated he just feels like a toy to her. "I know you probably think having sex won't make things any more awkward out there, but it will. I made a vow to my God. I know you don't think much of him Tamaya, but if it's my choice I'm not breaking that. Not even for you. I've never wanted a casual...well that! I want to be with one woman and one alone my whole life! Mrs. Hisaiume."

It's then their surroundings start to shift into the night sky. Tiles slowly flip revealing green grass except for where they stand. A blanket is laid out in the middle of the room. Maya is in tears now as she stumbles back onto the grass falling onto the blanket trying to get words out. Kisho wants to run to her but slowly takes a step back as the last tile flips to grass. It's then his collar tugs him forward as he falls to the ground. He catches himself with his hands as his face hovers just over her beautiful breasts.

They stay frozen for a moment before she finds words, "I-I know I'm not good enough to be her. You want your perfect Christian wife. I don't know if I believe in God. Least not after this…" She gestures around them as she slowly pulls herself out from under him and hugs her knees. "Wh-what the hell is this scene anyways? You-your fantasy?" She wipes tears out of her eyes.

He slowly sat up taking a breath as he looked around. His head is spinning confused by her words. "N-No...I don't know what this is." It's then the stars shift into words and tell them to lay down. They are both confused as he starts to tell her something but she cuts him off coldly, "They want us to stargaze Kisho." He quickly focuses his face above wanting to grab her hand. To tell her she's wrong. Instead he remains silent following instruction.

The stars ask them, "Want the other's secret? Pay attention."

It's then some dazzling displays go across the sky. A few comets fly by. Some stars burn bright and blink out. Even a few constellations dazzle brightly for a moment. Soon the sky turns to a dark blue blank canvas. Cream text appears asking various questions. How many comets, stars that went out, what constellations were shone. Kisho answers the first one and there is a counter showing a check mark under his name. That's when they realize only one of them will know the other's secret. For a moment he considers letting her win but a part of him has to know what she could possibly hide from him all these years. She beats him to guesses on comets, though with constellations he realizes she was better at these.

Tamaya names the first zodiac sign to appear, Capricorn, but realizes she might want Kisho to know her secret. It could clear up some of the confusion. Staring at the sky did give her time to think over his hurtful words. Stumbling purposefully she lets him win.

"Yes!" he declares before looking over at her saying a quick, "Sorry." Even he didn't realize how adversarial he has gotten towards her. In the beginning he was certain the two of them would be closer for all that had happened but instead the two strangers, Asher and Evelyn, seemed to fare the best.

"It took you longer than it should to get Aquarius. You know that's your sign." She tries to let a little grin show as she reaches her hand out for his. She's grateful when she feels him grasp her hand. This distance had to end.

Slowly the blanket they're on rises and expands to bed height as grass flips back to tiles. All the walls switch back to white gradually as the secret appears on all the walls. Kisho can't believe what his eyes see as he hears Tamaya say out loud nervously, "I have always been in love with Kisho, only him. Prom I stayed home heartbroken and tried to kill myself by overdosing on sleeping pills. In the hospital I vowed to reconnect with Kisho. I studied hard to get into the same college as him. Even though he doesn't love me that way, my heart aches to be by his side forever even if it's unrequited."

She looks over at him and sees his eyes tear up as they start to flow down his face. Quickly she finds herself in his crushing embrace. "Wh-why didn't you tell me?!" he asks, the terror apparent in his voice. "I couldn't put that on you. I was depressed and it wasn't your fault. Also it makes me sound like a crazy stalker. Besides I've had lots of therapy since then. I'm okay Kis." Her hands run through his hair.

"It is my fault!" he frowns realizing all that could have been. He calls out, "Put my secret up, please?" It takes a moment but the words shift to his. He pulls back from her looking into her eyes, saying, "I am in love with Tamaya Shin."

Her eyes grow wide as she looks back at him in shock, "Since when?!"

"Since forever!"

"Wh-why didn't you- oh right your birthday."

"Yeah…" he blushes deciding to finally cut through the bullshit, "So you don't just want me to fuck you? Y-You want more?"

"Well doesn't fucking usually go with being your Missus forever?" 

His face goes bright red as he dumbly nodded his head. "Y-Yes. I only want you to be my...my wife."

"Is that a proposal?" She asks with a nervous grin, "Cause if so then yes!"

"Yes...well no! I mean I'll do a better one once we're out of here." He gestures around before realizing their opacity was starting to fade. For the first time ever he seizes this moment. Pulling her close he whispers in her ear, "I love you Maya." Quickly he snatches up her lips grateful to God for the misery they're in right now if only to finally learn of their mutual love.