22 The A-Team
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19th September 1996 (Thursday)
Ricky Stirling (POV)
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The sound of me clicking the end of a pen filled the room, as I waited patiently for 'my' marketing team to return from their lunch.
They ran out the door an hour ago.
A whole fucking hour.
It's almost like they're trying to avoid… working for me.
No, it-it's definitely that.
You know a really irritating consequence of increased intellect coupled with Observe?
It's that I can't live in denial, no matter how much I desire to.
At any point in time, if anything happens, a single glance is all it takes to deduct every essential and non-essential tedious little detail about it.
A really good example of this, 'my' team is acting skittish and using delay tactics in an attempt to extend their break, not cause they need more rest or anything.
They just want to spend the least amount of time they possibly can around me.
I mean-, I get it, I really do. But that's not the problem. Nope, the problem is that I know exactly what they don't like about me, and how to change it… an unintended consequence resulting from my shockingly high WIS.
Now, I like to joke around… a lot. Not cause it's in my nature to be funny or anything, it's just that… after becoming 'The' Gamer, the world to me has been robbed of its mystery.
There seldom occurs a situation which is capable of providing the barest amount of stimulation to me.
In short… I'm bored, constantly.
So to combat this conundrum, I made strategic modifications to my behavior patterns over a period of time. If before, I was a kind, intelligent, mature beyond his years cute little kid, now I am the same, but add the quirky factor and dial it up by 10 at the very minimum.
Essentially, I acted in an extremely erratic, or an unpredictable manner, joking at the most inappropriate times, throwing random ass comments in the middle of a train of thought, cracking a series of jokes with references so abstract, that no-one ever understood them, etc.
I do this, not because I enjoy the act of doing it or anything, but mainly due to the reactions I gather from the occupants of a room, when they're exposed to my particular brand of madness.
Every time, I make an extremely dark joke, or roast a random famous personality with clever word play, their reactions, the raw emotions they exude on their visage, it… makes me laugh, on the inside.
And it has the added benefit of staving off my boredom.
Now, I keep it to a minimum whenever I'm involved in anything work-related, but continued exposure for days on end… you know what? I think I understand 'my' team's plight all of sudden.
Sigh, It's just that, I had been getting so comfortable with them, as we threw around ideas, and optimizing our strategy, before finally implementing phase 1.
Oh the strategy… Just thinking about it makes my spine shiver.
Why? Cause it's just so beautiful, so grandiose in nature, so… exquisite.
Yep, that's the word I was looking for, exquisite.
Just like the revised version of PA, the marketing strategy is my breakthrough, my mastermind initiative, my…
Oh who am I kidding?! It's just a seamless amalgamation of the marketing strategies implemented for PA and Blair Witch Project from my OTL.
I optimized the process as per current market conditions, and designed all the intricate details with the help of my very experienced team, but the general outline…
I can't believe it, I'm quite literally making history. When film historians study my rise to success, they'll no doubt stumble upon this, and call it revolutionary. Because for 1996, that's exactly what it is.
I'm laying down the groundwork for viral marketing tactics in general for decades to come… one small step for me, and a giant leap for future marketing majors.
Or minors. You never know really, considering how degrees end up becoming more useless than the paper they are printed on eventually. I'm sure at least some people after minoring in marketing will realize what a fucking scam college is, and just directly opt for employment.
Hm… should I capitalize that in the future? Perhaps, set up a whole new series of requirements for potential employees?
Sigh… I really have to stop daydreaming about the future, I've been doing it a lot recently it seems.
And right then, they enter.
My oh so cherished team, the people who'll be responsible for helping me practically mint tens of millions less than a month after I turn 19.
Just for this, I can forgive them in advance for not actually buying me one, I know for a fact they won't.
No worries, I'll still buy them exactly what they like, using the all powerful emotion of guilt to sow the seeds of loyalty, when I inevitably become their boss in the future.
Not in the near future, my dad may look old, but he's still pretty spry for his age.
Then again, he drinks alcohol excessively, smokes cigarettes, premium cigars, and takes edibles made out of cannabis. Also the occasional meth and cocaine, depending on whose company he is in.
He's in his mid-50s right now, and honestly… I'll consider it a miracle if he makes it past 70.
Well, that took a depressing fucking turn now, didn't it?
Anyways, my team consisting of 8 members in total excluding me, filed into the room one by one, their eyes wide open, as if they had pulled an all-nighter, and then downed 3 shots of coffee to keep going through the day.
Which they had.
But hey now, before the accusations of me being a slave driver start piling up, I was awake the whole time with them, just saying.
You see, my still developing leadership style is inspired heavily by one of the greatest leaders of all time (whose biopic was an enormous disappointment by the way), Napoleon Bonaparte. Well, one aspect of it is, which is 'lead by example'.
So if my team's got to stay up, then I'll be with them every step of the way.
Full honestly though, pulling an all nighter doesn't exactly have the same effect on me as it does on everyone else.
Of course it doesn't. Why would it? I'm the 'Gamer' after all.
For me, sleep deprivation is only a measly status effect that reduces my wisdom by an insignificant amount till I get some sleep.
And due to my CON, I don't really need a lot of sleep.
In fact, since I turned 16, the amount of sleep I've needed every night to work at optimal levels has been reducing in an extremely systemic way.
I know, cause I dedicated a diary to studying my sleep patterns.
Right now? I only need to sleep for 6 hrs, 52 minutes every 36 hours to stave off the status effect titled 'Sleep Deprivation'.
I snap myself out of my inner thoughts as I raise my head and stop fidgeting with the pen, taking a headcount as they enter, making sure everyone is present.
Goddamnit, I feel like a school teacher of all things, taking attendance as my dear little 'students' enter the classroom sloppily, wishing the break was longer.
But no worries, for me and my team are the furthest thing away from a group of rowdy kids.
We're a well-oiled machine at this point, with every single member specializing in a key aspect of marketing.
The various roles that are present in this team are:
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO): The head of the marketing team, responsible for overseeing the entire marketing strategy and campaign, aka me.
Marketing Manager: Walter Unwin, a bonafide veteran of this industry for the past 3 decades, his job is to manage the day-to-day operations of the team, overseeing various campaigns and initiatives.
Publicity Manager/Publicist: Now, I really wanted Gary to occupy this position, but he refused vehemently. The reason being that his expertise lies in marketing books, not movies. That's the reason. It's totally not because he doesn't want to work with me more than necessary or something… Shut Up. Anyways, so Agatha Blauman got the job, and she is more than competent enough for her role. A little rigid for my taste, and she tends to think inside the box, but nevertheless, she's been a great help.
Digital Marketing Manager: Now, this position is quite new to be honest, due to the recent influx of online activity, but Yash Wardhaman, my newly hired man, will play a pivotal role in the upcoming weeks, considering a bulk of my marketing efforts will be focused on online hype build-up.
Creative Director: Now, this role usually takes up a prominent place in a standard marketing team, but not here. I kinda filled up the role, and I believe I've been doing a stellar job myself. I mean it's not that hard okay? As a creative director, I just have to oversee the development of key visual and creative elements of the marketing campaign, including posters, trailers, and promotional materials. For me, whose CRE stat had exceeded 50, it was a cakewalk.
Advertising Manager: Now, this guy is responsible for planning and executing advertisement campaigns across various channels, including but not limited to TV, print and fledgling online platforms.
Event Coordinator: This guy, who has been planted here directly by daddy dearest to ensure I don't fuck up my debut, plans and executes promotional events, premieres, and other activities to build buzz and engage the audience. Now, he might be the corporate equivalent of a babysitter, but I gotta admit, he knows what he's doing. I mean, the impromptu Q&A at Comic-Con? Walter mentioned it to me in passing, but I later found out it was his idea all along. Aaron Fletcher, an extremely pale guy in his early 40s, with slicked back black hair… hmmm, he looks kinda handsome I guess, in a classical sort of way or something. Who knows, though? In the end, it might just be his piercing blue eyes, and curled eyelashes that have that kinda impact, not to mention the ridiculous amount of product he puts in his hair, and his manicured fingernails… oh damn. He is… no wait, he has a wife, and 2 kids… damn. Can't believe I just stumbled upon a closeted homosexual with a wife and 2 kids. No-No-No, you know what? Let's not jump to conclusions, he might just be Bi… you know what? I don't care. I really don't, where I'm from… anyone can be any damn thing, and frankly, that's one rabbit-hole I don't wanna get remotely close to.
Anyways, next on the list is…
Market Research Analyst: This mousy woman… who is trying to rock Jamaican dreadlocks for some unholy reason, conducts market research to understand the target audience, assess competition, and provide data-driven insights for my strategy, in short… She does math, and provides me with the refined data and tangible conclusions that could be drawn from it.
Partnerships Manager: Now this geezer's job was interesting. He is essentially responsible for securing and managing partnerships with brands, influencers and other entities to enhance the film's visibility. Now, due to the nature of PA, brand endorsements are non-existent, so Michael Forger's job will be to round up the critics and a select few authors and film directors who have established themselves in the horror genre for a test screening. Then a few negotiations will follow, which will result in a series of puff-piece articles, praising the film to high heavens.
And finally, last but least, we have the…
Distribution Liaison: Mrs. Sophia Hernandez, she works closely with the distribution team to coordinate marketing efforts with the film's release strategy. Now, her role is quite interesting really, considering the fact that we're not going for a wide theatrical release until 31st October. Nope, according to Phase 6 of our 9 step strategy, we'll be opting for a limited theatrical release in a few hundred selective theaters, to generate positive word-of-mouth and exclusivity among the common populace. Sophia is gonna coordinate the release, ensuring our marketing complements its efforts in the right direction, a role that requires experience and expertise, both of which she's got in spades.
So there you have it, my team, the recipe for launching my career.
Most of them were assigned to me by Higgs, his expression not betraying his disbelief in this venture, but a quick Observe told me exactly what he thought would occur with me at the helm of marketing.
No worries though, I'm sure we'll laugh about it someday over a drink or two, in the future, years from now.
