Doesn't have one.

November 10th, 2020

'Garden gnomes,

Metronome,

Make me wanna bone,

Who shot op,

I'm on top of the game,

Yea you could,

I got fame,

I'm hot heat ready,

To burst some flames hit you in the nuts,

Maker faker,

Take-her Dinero.'

Yeah, I'm a bad rapper, but Darli- oh wait I forgot to tell you that it's been a year since we've been going out and I call Smilte, darling now, this started originally as a joke, but honestly, it just stuck… Uhm I'm so cringy, well we are in the sixth form now and I'm 2 months younger than Smilte my birthday is coming up soon I'm 17 and Smilte is 18, I did my GCSE's and got 3 9's (which is the highest grade) and the rest were 8's and I'm now doing my A levels at Oxford international college the best school in all of the UK in terms of the sixth form I mean. Also, I think I might break things off with Smilte not because I don't love her, but because of everything going on in my life right now I'm not sure I can give her what she needs emotionally and physically (not sexually I'm still waiting for marriage), so by the end of the day on our 1-year anniversary I'm breaking things off.

Yeah, that isn't happening.

THE NEXT DAY,

So, we had an amazing anniversary reminiscing and all the good times like the time on her birthday where I met her parents and her father stared at me with daggers in his eyes, but apparently, according to Smilte he liked me but didn't know how to express his emotions properly and the time she got lost during the Duke of Edinburgh expedition and was found trying to feed squirrels Haribo's, oh god I'm not sure I can follow through, no I can do this after all this is best for both of us.

'Smilte, we need to talk.' I said trying to sound stern.

'Smilte? Oh well, what do you need Sean.' She said playfully.

'Umm… I've thought about this heavily and we need to break up.'

'Why?' she said, her voice was monotone as though she thought I was bored of the relationship.

'We need to break up because I don't think I can support you properly and we need to focus on our exams and careers, and I can tell you wholeheartedly that I truly lov…' I don't know why, but I couldn't bring myself to say I loved her it was as though there was something lodged in my throat blocking me.

'Ok, I wish you the best in your life, sayonara.' She said it sounded like her voice was quaking.

When I looked up for the first time in my entire existence, I saw Smilte – this untouchable figure crying, the ice queen was no longer there and, in her stead, there was a bright and impressionable lady.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen.'

'Bye...' She said as she walked away and was once again reminded of the ice queen and how she wasn't ready. I messed up; I should have eased into it.

TO BE CONTINUED…