Confusion

Sunday, November 10th, 2019,

I was on a call with one of my sister's friends who was also my friend, but we weren't as close anyway, she always helped me and her name was… actually let's leave her name for a later date, but for now let's call her One, anyway I told her the story and she told me in the unique voice that I could never dream of replicating 'Are you ok?' and I was so confused for a second, but then I realized what she meant and without me replying she said to me 'Just sleep on it Sean, see you tomorrow.'

The day after,

It was the 11th and I tried blending into the crowd slipping past jizz road and See-man avenue and finally I entered the school and headed to form, but while walking to form every step I took I felt more pressure and then more pressure until finally, I felt like I was going to burst, and there was one more step before entering the room I was frozen everything was racing through my head and then Eden came from behind me and his long hair was covering one of his eyes and he told me something I haven't forgotten even until this day 'if you're going to keep blocking the entrance then just move.' This resonated with me on so many levels because it made me realise that wasting time on such trivial things was a waste of time and with that, I felt like a new man. A man with confidence and the pressure left me and I entered. The second I walked in, sir without missing a heartbeat asked me to get my planner out, after all, it was Monday so we were doing a planner check.

(The thing was that when he asked this, I felt so much relief because I realized that it didn't matter whether Smilte was a highly regarded person after all it didn't involve them, this was my life and it was my journey, not theirs).

When the school day finished I went to Smilte and with no words coming out of my mouth I asked if she wanted to play a set of tennis and surprisingly she agreed even after I aired her on Friday with this we played a casual set and I won 50-40 making it an extremely close match, but after it, I asked if her invitation for me being her boyfriend was still valid, and it felt as if an eternity had passed till she answered, but it was only about 3 seconds and she said 'It is if you don't pull something like that again, is that a deal?' she said referring to Friday which made me nervously laugh.

'Of course.' I said trying to hide my smile and to relieve the tension I asked if she wanted to want to walk down See-man Avenue to which she replied 'You sure are a kid.' She said that with a picturesque smile that I could only dream of seeing.

TO BE CONTINUED…