Testing Time

And then we are at it again. Time! The only thing I have in plenty. Yet I say I have too much of it, though some may disagree or say they don't have enough, but I wish I had less of it.

For it is truly torturous. Another ten years have passed, and I have been here for a hundred and ten years. It is insane, almost as insane as I have become. The voices in my head, the thoughts racing through my mind, have become so numerous as to cloud my thoughts and muffle my sanity. Or so I believe it to be so. Or maybe wish it to be?

It is hard to tell; the loneliness, maybe the voices are just my answer to keep me sane, or maybe insanity has hooked me truly. I may never know, at least while I reside here in this realm.

My strength may be improving, and I may be getting closer to my goal, but what will become of me in my final hours? After I have achieved my vengeance, will I be the same as I am now or once was? What will I desire then?

It's probably too early to tell or too early to care. Hell, I might not keep my mind in these next few hundred years.

Alas, have other troubles at the moment.

These years, I have been coming across beasts less and less. So my time has been spent more exploring than anything else. It seems that the completion numbers have been thoroughly cut down to a sizeable amount as the hundred years have passed.

Though there are still plenty around, and many monsters have bred to increase but the amount killed or eaten is still larger.

And in my wandering over the years, I have truly been in every biome imaginable, even those that can't be dreamed up. Stuff that exists in nightmares and dreams alike.

Mountains sky high, volcanoes spewing lava and acid, lakes filled with blood, and even an endless abyss going who knows where. The places are numerous, with countless places too horrid to describe or too weird to want to.

Or my mind could just be playing tricks on me with my eyes. Insanity, not the most helpful trait to have.

But I make do, though I have been starting to realize a problem. It is getting harder to acquire food.

I had died of dehydration once; I would rather not add starvation to the list. At least there is plenty of water abound, so I shouldn't have to repeat that death.

So, for now, I hunt for food! If I can find it. Luckily with my current body and strength, I can last much longer than normal without food. Already going on ten weeks without food, only water. Probably doesn't help that the current biome I am in is another desert. Been stuck wandering around here for the last six months.

And so my journey continues.

One year later!

Well, I found out how long I can currently survive without food. It seems a little over a year it is. Cause I died. My only death in the last twenty or so years, I think. Wow, it's been so long, it almost felt familiar to die again.

But yes, starvation is what got me. It was painful, excruciating so, but more than that was the annoyance of my body protesting the hunger. The pangs of hunger eating away at me, the growls being uttered from my body, and the sickening desire rising within me.

I go to the point that I literally tried to eat anything, yet there was nothing that could stay down in my stomach. Sand was no good, puked that right up after forcing it down.

Then with my already insane mind, I was like wait a minute, I got meat available to me. Let's try that on my hand there; they look like sausages.

Yes, I ate myself. Only parts. First, some fingers, the ones I thought I didn't need. Then the toes. But I realized that I was only delaying the inevitable. After all, it's not like I regenerate unless I die. So I had to die if I wanted my body whole again.

So trying to survive starvation seemed pointless, so I just laid there and let it happen. I let all the suffering overcome my body until I felt nothing. And then I awoke in perfect condition. My hunger satiated as if never gone; my body restored, and my strength was back at the top.

It truly is miraculous at how all of this is done each time I die. Even my beard and hair have reverted to what it was like. The only thing not reverted is my strength and how my body looks, such as the scars and muscles. I don't understand it, but it might have to do with the rules the god implemented in wanting me to suffer or something.

Either way, it worked. The hunger is gone, though the insanity remains. At least, I believe it so.

And now, all I can do is to continue my journey forward once more.

So I go forth once more. My journey is never over, and my suffering is constant. But giving up is not an option, not for me.

I train almost every minute of every day that I am not fighting some beast or trying to survive. And like this, another two-hundred years pass before something significant changes.

Yes, two hundred years. For I now have spent over three hundred years trapped in this realm. Death is but an illusion to me, something that I sometimes pray for, though not to any god. Just existence itself.

That is my life now.