Uncomfortable Guests.

Robert left the flower shop with Rochelle right behind him. A desolate dark alley was where the business genius reduced to compost had decided to open his flower shop.

A flickering lamp from before Regan was elected did its best to keep the alley bright. Robert turned around at the sign of the flower shop, Nigel's bouquet, or at least what it was supposed to be, some pranksters had added a second G to the Nigel and changed the L to an R.

"I really am back to earth." Robert mused.

"Hey, man." A stranger dressed in torn heavy clothes approached Robert. "I'll suck yo dick for ten dollars." The man, clearly homeless, compulsively scratched his neck.

"Ew," Robert replied. "five," he added. He didn't want some hobo's lips anywhere near him, but he wanted to provoke the obvious crackhead.

That's when Rochelle left the flower shop, relieved by the "fresh" air. "what's going on here?" she asked as she noticed the homeless man talking with Robert.

"C'mon man, I need ten dollars." The hobo begged.

"Seven, and you blow us both." Robert pointed at Rochelle too.

The fidgety man nodded and started kneeling in front of Robert. That's when Rochelle had enough. "What the fuck Robert." She questioned, irritated. "As for you, scram if you don't want to be arrested."

Alarmed, the addict fell on his ass. "Snap, you a cop? Look, he came on to me, said he would give me cra- I mean," his expression slacked for a moment as a wandering thought made its way up.

"Do you have any rock on you? I can name lottsa people. There is: Puffle, Snazzle, Lazy Sloth, Pineapple, and Onion." He shamelessly ratted out his friends, hoping the nice cop had some candy on her.

"I said beat it before I arrest you!" Rochelle threatened.

"Aw, look, nice lady, how about you pay me the seven dollars, and no one gets hurt," he said, taking out a shive made out of a beer can. "Where's mah money!" He intimated, swinging the weapon in his hand.

"Zap!" Robert electrified his hand and slapped the man on his cheek. A shock of a few thousand volts snaked across his drugs-addled head. A second later, when the sonorous 'Pa!' of Robert's hand had already disappeared, the man fell to the ground with a wisp of smoke coming out of his hair.

"This is on the house, he was starting to annoy me." Robert waved his hand in a de facto manner. "I mean, who asks for money after failing to provide a service, really, bad business practice."

Rochelle felt a headache raising as she looked at the electrocuted man twitching on the ground. She facepalmed and said, "You can't just electrocute random drug addicts and homeless people."

Robert quieted down and pondered for a moment before guessing what he did wrong. "oh, right, you are a cop."

"Yes, exactly, that's why you can't-"

"YOU wanted to beat him up. Sorry, sometimes I forget the national pastime for you people is to beat minorities and drug addicts. No worries, the next one is all yours, or if you can't resist, this one is still hot." Robert said with a smile and offered his prey to her,

"That's not what I meant! Everything you just said is HUGH! You know what, I need to sleep, we will continue this tomorrow." She looked at the end of the street. "That is Ellie's street. This means we are in the Tenderloin, my house isn't too far away. Let's go." She walked away and Robert obediently followed.

"Aye aye cap."

--------------

Sometime later, they reached Rochelle's apartment building on Sutter str. It was a red brick building with a white entrance, a fire escape serviced from the second to the sixth floor.

"This isn't as bad as I expected." They quickly entered Rochelle's apartment on the fourth floor. Behind a metal white door, Robert appreciated Rochelle's bland living room, an IKEA blue sofa and matching armchair, a 50 inches tv hanging on the wall, and a small bookshelf with various objects occupying most of its space.

"The kitchen is on the right, the bathroom to the left. You can sleep on the sofa and if you need me, I'll be at the end of the corridor in front of the bathroom." Rochelle said with a yawn, she quickly took off her shoes and walked to the bathroom.

When she finished and went to her bedroom, Rochelle found the door closed.

She knocked. "Robert, are you in my room?"

"Yes." came the answer a second later.

"What are you doing in my room?" She asked patiently.

"Well, obviously I'm not making breakfast," he replied.

"Let me rephrase that," she said, a vein quickly swelling on her forehead.

"Could you open the door?"

"Depends. Did we include who would get the bed in the deal?" Robert asked calmly.

"No." She growled.

"Well, I would be open to sharing the bed tho..." Robert suggested.

"Oh, I see you lied in my bed and fell asleep quickly. BECAUSE YOU MUST BE DREAMING IF YOU THINK I'LL SHARE MY BED WITH YOU, GET THE FUCK OUT!" All her frustrations and tiredness finally exploded, and she started punching at the door.

"Well, good night. See you tomorrow." Robert said and applied a 'Stop!' to the door. Every time Rochelle banged on her door, her hands would powerlessly hit the wood and produce a flash of light.

Tired of being flash banged, Rochelle retreated to her sofa, mumbling curses and things she would do to Robert. Her fear for him had disappeared, replaced by sheer annoyance.

------------------

The day after.

A refreshed Robert sat at the kitchen table eating eggs and bacon. Cheerfully, he whistled a tune and savored his meal.

Rochelle slowly woke up. The first thing she noticed was the blanket tucked around her at some point. The thought that a demon from hell would tuck her in while she slept made her chuckle and feel tender inside.

Then she noticed something hard in her embrace. A 25 cm vibrating dolphin vibrator. Her cheeks flushed red as she could guess how it had arrived.

"Top o' the morning mademoiselle. I noticed how lonely you looked and brought a friend I found on your bedstand." came Robert's voice from the kitchen.

Rochelle took a deep breath and calmed down, today she would be in control.

"Morning Robert, did you make breakfast?" She asked slowly walking over towards the kitchen. She wore a white blouse and blue jeans that were airing in the bathroom. In contrast to her, Robert sat completely naked while eating.

"Why yes. But I seem to have eaten it all. Oh, and please remember to buy some milk." He spoke without moving his eyes from the plate.

Rochelle froze, then, after a long breath said. "Well, I'm going out. Don't break anything, and don't move. I'm serious." She said, slamming the door behind her and mumbling about man-children.

"hmm, she already learned not to give me the satisfaction, shame," he observed while grabbing an extra plate of bacon and eggs and wolfing it down.

------

Rochelle came back two hours later with various bags.

"Welcome home dear, did you get the milk?" Robert welcomed her from the sofa, still naked. He appeared thin and not very muscular, a huge amount of dark chest hair covered his whole body like a sweater.

Somehow during her absence, Robert had managed to grow a thick mustache that now irritated his nose.

"Put this on." She threw a bag at Robert.

Like a child on Christmas Robert quickly opened the bag and fished out the cheapest long coat he had ever seen, a hat that wouldn't appear out of place in a noir movie, and various shirts, pants, and socks.

"I... Love it!" Robert quickly dressed in his best imitation of a noir detective. "Life is a bucket of shit with a barbed wire handle," he said in a deep voice.

"What?" Rochelle asked, startled by his change of personality.

"That's life. Whichever way you turn, fate sticks out a foot to trip you" Robert replied, walking to the door.

"Oh god, how can you get more annoying the more time we spend together?" Rochelle face-palmed staring at Robert spouting lines from old noire books.

"Look poppet, we have no time to waste. Right now a criminal is waiting somewhere for us to kill him. And I hate making people wait for me."