24| cries

Melinoe

"If I show you all my demons and we dive into the deep end. Would we crash and fall like every time before?" - Selena Gomez, Vulnerable

***

I opened the door and saw the familiar pair of blue eyes that were boring into mine. I sighed and bit my lip. "What do you want?" I asked lowly. "Hey are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I answered almost immediately and moved my head back before his fingers could make contact with my face. His eyes showed that he was hurt but that was the last thing I cared about.

"Damon why are you here?"

"I came to speak to you," he said softly. "What are you waiting for?"

"Can you please let me in?" I silently scoffed but let him in anyways. "Your majesty," I muttered.

His back was still facing me as he ran his hands over his face. His scent was the only thing that I was sniffing in, silently. It was seductive and intoxicating. It reminded me on the nights of our trip that contained a lot of good memories.

And bad too.

The bad ones that should've opened my eyes. Maybe they did but I just chose to turn a blind eye. "It's been so long since we've spoken," he turned around.

"Do you know many nights I've spent thinking about you? How you see doing, his you were feeling, how you were coping, how you were sleeping? Did you know how much it pained me to not know anything? And worst of all you didn't even let me know-"

"Let you know? Damon why should I be doing that? Cause as far as I know, it's none of your business. You never cared, you showed it and trust me actions speak louder than words."

"I know I fucked up, I know and I wish I could've done something about it but I obviously cannot. Gosh I'm so stupid,"

"I'm so glad that you realize it," I said emotionlessly. I didn't think I had ever gotten the chance to be cold hearted before. I've always been the one to forgive people, let the speak but I feel like I've been hurt to many times right now and I didn't think I could take any more.

Neglecting or arguing with someone may not help, but it made me better in way. If that even made sense.

"If I'm not different then why am I always there when he's supposed to be there? Why am I the one who is always comforting you when that's his job as your partner? Why does he care more his business than his own 'soon to be wife' Melinoe can you answer all of that? Or will you still have an excuse for someone who barely cares. Remember who was there for you? It was me, not him."

"But you're still like him in so many ways. In ways that you can't even fucking see. Why is that you find it hard to understand me,  If you really fucking loved me, we'd be in Italy together right now. Laughing, going out, having dinners, binging but you'd rather have this torturous feeling forever right? That's until him and I move out." I shrugged.

"What?"

"Yes. We're moving after we get married," I lied and I couldn't really tel if he bought my lie or not but from his silence, he believed it.

"Why do you hurt me?"

"Did you care when you hurt me?" I folded my arms, tilting my head to the side. "That's what I thought."

"You know... funny thing is that, I actually love you," I scoffed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That Aaron doesn't love you." My heart sunk. "He doesn't love you like I do." I shook my head continuously

"Stop lying to me!"

"Why do you always think I'm lying?!" He yelled and luckily no one was at home at all today. And I was grateful for that because they would've heard everything that we had said.

"Because that's just what I see! And because that's what you have shown me. When I have you the opportunity to actually be with me you never took it. You never even gave a reason. You could've told me why and it would've been easier for me to make peace with that. But instead, you just tell me things but you never show. And if you do show, you go all bipolar and I'm supposed to fucking figure you out. How am I even supposed to figure you out when you don't even let me in? You don't tell me anything you just simply shut up. Tell me how an I supposed to deal with that? Where's the communication. If you loved me that  much, you'd do that for me. For us. But because of you, there is no us. And you just have to pay for own mistake,"

"Melinoe-"

"You've lost me Damon." I shook my head.

"You have already lost me." I bit out. "By being a coward." I retorted and I could tell he was hurt but I wanted to hurt him more. I didn't care, he needed to feel everything I felt. He need to feel my pain, the pain I was feeling as I was grieving all my myself. He needed to know. "You'll lose me." I twisted my words. "Just like I  lost  a baby that had a baby," I said lowly.

"-what?"

"It had been living in me for almost two months and I had already grown fond of him. He was still growing, I was ready to take care of him for mine months without any body knowing but all he got was too survive was 8 weeks."

"Melinoe-"

"And it was a baby, my baby that had your DNA."