21| cries

Melinoe

"Would you call me to tell me you're alright? Cause I worry about you the whole night." -James Arthur, Safe Inside

***

It had been more than week since I've returned and I still hadn't seen Damon.

Since I last saw him. And I hated myself for wanting to see him and talk to him. To actually give him the time of day but at least this time I had an excuse. An excuse that was the most risky thing to reveal.

I sat down on his bed every night just hoping he would come in any time from that door and tell him about this baby. But I didn't know what I'd do the moment he'd enter that door. Where would I even begin? How would I tell him? Because definitely  'hey I'm pregnant' is not the the way to go. 

But it's clear we wanted nothing to do with each other but a part of me felt like he needed to know about the existence of the small peanut inside of me that was growing. That in mince months I wouldn't be able to Jude hide it at all. What if I were to have a contraction in the midst of something? What about how my body would change during those months.

"Oh no what did I get myself into?" I muttered with a frown.

After all I couldn't really blame anyone but myself. I was also to blame  for actually going ahead with everything that happened. The fake girlfriend  thing and when I remembered the night one year ago. It all felt strange that I didn't remember any of it. People had told me I had gotten drunk but my mind was empty.

I sighed and got up.

He wanted nothing to do with me. So why was I even stressing myself in having a conversation with him? I meant nothing and our memories meant nothing to him.

I took one last glance around the room and placed my hand on the door knob, but not before feeling someone else move it from the other side. The door immediately swung open and I came face to face with a face that I hadn't seen in more than a month. The familiar blue eyes bored into mine with no emotion at all.

Some struck inside of me at the stare. It reminded me of back when we just simple acquaintance, simple strangers. Now it's like were strangers one again, except this time... with each tigers secrets. Truly more with his secrets than mine. He just "knew" me based on what he saw.

And he told me of me all the things that he thought of me and I couldn't imagine on what others thought. "Why are you here?" I didn't want to let it get to me, I didn't. But that hurt.

" I need to tell you something." I bit my lip and fiddled with my fingers. "Please me quick. I'm busy," my brows knitted slightly together and I honestly couldn't believe it,

"I- I need to-" I exhaled loudly and that's when I began getting hot flushes.

"I- I- I'm going to be a-" a mother? Should I say that? How would he react to it? If I told him about this, it'd be a completely 180. Would he reject the baby that was growing  inside of me?  I really didn't have the answers to any of my questions because Damon was unpredictable.

"I'm- I'm pr-" the door swung and my eyes landed on the figure that had just stepped in with a phone in their hands. It was Lisa our help. "Ma'am," she wanted.

"Figure me for barging but I need you to tell you this." My brows knitted as I watched her, confused. "Lisa what's going on?"

"Ma'am I don't know how to tell-"

"Just tell me Lisa."

"It's- its your mother..." My heart stopped. I could still hear her sniffles as I looked away from her. "What happened to her?" My voice care out hoarse.

Silence.

More silence.

I shut my eyes before repeating, "What. Happened to her,"

"She was in the plane and all of a sudden there were issues with the plane and- and the plane crashed."

It was silent.

So silenced that you could even hear a pin drop.

I didn't even know what to do or say. My body felt absolutely weak as all the surroundings were now a blur.

Don't fall

Don't fall

Don't fall

I kept trying to repeat those words whilst my palm rested on my forehead. My body began moving by itself and the dizzy spells got even worse. "It can't be," I shook my head but that only caused the dizziness to worsen.

Unintentionally my head dropped from my forehead and I could barely see anything anymore. I could no longer control myself as my body prepared to fall.

I expected to feel some pain at the back but instead I fell into a pair of arms and everything went black.