12 Chapter 12 – Confusion

I once saw a documentary about how the maternal instinct was crucial to the success of the human race, both due to physical and chemical factors and emotional and intellectual factors. In fact, if it weren't for the strong connections that mothers have with their children, the human race would hardly have come this far.

Yes, there are countless other factors just as important, be it our opposable thumbs, our bipedal posture, our large brain, communication and language skills, our social behavior and cooperation, etc... There are several other crucial factors, all equally important.

But that doesn't mean that any of them are less important, in fact, the most important skills that allowed us to evolve were precisely those that seem least important.

That is, what would be the point of having more strength and agility if we didn't have the ability to draw? Or have a big brain if we didn't have the ability to form organized groups? This is the magic of evolution, there is no single factor for something to happen, an extremely complex and organized set of factors is necessary.

That's why I've always liked studying a wide range of topics and not just a single subject. It's fascinating how there are details and useful information that we can obtain just by studying different versions of the same subject. Nothing is as limited and exact as mathematics, we can be sure of that.

Anyway, a very interesting subject, but not so well known and also not much studied, is the maternal instinct. A surprisingly strong set of emotions, sensations and behaviors, perhaps it is even stronger than being in love.

And just like I said before, it is an important factor in human evolution, even though it seems so subtle we could hardly dismiss its importance. Furthermore, it was not just for humans, the maternal instinct is a fundamental part of biology and plays an important role in the survival and healthy development of species.

I don't know if I can have an exact definition for Maternal Instinct, and I can't even be sad about it, to this day we don't know what love is, but it doesn't prevent a whole culture of love from existing in societies.

But just like love, the maternal instinct manifests itself through behaviors, emotions and sensations. To cite a few examples…

Mothers often have a strong protective instinct that leads them to take steps to ensure their children are safe and out of harm's way. They also invest time, energy and resources in the development and well-being of their children without obvious reward.

The strong tendency to protect and care for children can also be an example, after all, mothers are predisposed to do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety and well-being of their children.

Unconditional Love and Affection, Protection and Care, Emotional Connection and Protective Instinct... All of these can be included as characteristics of the maternal instinct, but there are some others that are also very interesting.

However, I think it is unnecessary to explain more about the subject, I prefer practice over theory. In my previous life, I was the 3rd child in a family of 6 children, a relatively neutral position in the family.

Not too old to be burdened with other siblings' responsibilities and not too young to receive more care. Furthermore, growing up in a poor family, it was hardly possible for my mother to be constantly giving us affection and attention.

As a single mother, she had a lot of difficulty and challenges raising and supporting 6 children, a true warrior. But as she overcame the challenges life threw at her, she began to develop a much more rigid and callous personality.

Many things happened to me and my brothers because of this, whether it was the shared joys, the sadness of each of us, or the strength and help we shared. It brought us together, strengthened us, taught us and motivated us, I don't regret anything about my previous life.

I was taught by my mother to never care what other people think of me, what matters is what I achieve and my actions. She also taught us that no one is more important than our family.

And above all, she taught us that honor, respect and gratitude are not bought, much less sold, they must be earned.

A truly admirable woman, I think all mothers are, she may not have been the most loving mother, but she was enough to make us feel loved and important.

I hope she's okay.

My death, of course, was very… abrupt.

…

Anyway, I know about my past life, my love for my mother and my brothers, my life path and all my experiences. That would be more than enough for me to feel extremely uncomfortable about being a baby again.

And yes, I'm uncomfortable with the situation, especially when there's an extremely beautiful woman who calls me her son and I don't know anything about her. She is not my mother, she adopted me as a baby, but I am someone who already has an awareness of identity.

I don't know how to react to this in the right way, should I be happy? Sad? She doesn't seem like a bad person and she seems to love me like a mother. And there's also all the time I spent without consciousness in this body and she took care of me.

AAAAAHHHHHHH This is very confusing… Too confusing.

I understand, that babies don't have a life history, they are at an early stage of development and can adapt more easily to a new environment and a new family, but that's not the case for me. I already have a life story and different types of experiences

Furthermore, babies are not very likely to form meaningful bonds, this would make it much easier to form a safe and healthy bond with adoptive parents.

But all this does not apply to me, I am an adult in a child's body, my personality is already fully developed. I don't know how I should face this situation now that I've started thinking about it.

I shouldn't think about this topic right now, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable with the look Mom has been giving me since Abigail took me from Aglaya.

I feel guilty knowing that I will never feel as strong a love for her as a real mother and son. But I'm sure she will love me like a true son, you can tell that just by looking at her.

However, I also feel extremely nervous as I am still a baby and will be completely dependent on her for a few years of my life in this place. Inevitably, we will form a connection and a relationship, as the best way to form a strong, lasting relationship is with constant contact and emotional support.

How will this work? Should I reveal my past to her and be honest? Should I keep it a secret? But if I don't reveal it, wouldn't it be the same as betraying her trust? But what if I don't feel familial love for her? Or worse, if I happen to fall in love with her? What to do?

There are also several other factors that could influence my life in this place in very different ways than my previous life. Magic, different races, different people and different cultures and customs.

Plus, I can't help but feel worried about Mom and the other girls. They don't seem to be bad people, on the contrary, Aglaya and Mahara seem to be in an extremely delicate situation.

Mom doesn't seem to be well either, after all, what kind of accident could happen that would make her prefer to isolate herself? Do I have the right to take her attention for myself? Even though she is a dragon, she seems so fragile and dependent to me...

Unfortunately I have no choice or any kind of solution to my situation, I am completely at the mercy of circumstances. But I will not stand by and watch the situation unfold and somehow get worse.

Even though I'm a baby, I should make sure the people around me are happy, that's the least I should do. If I am going to receive care, love and affection from her, I must also try my best to reciprocate.

Just like in my previous life, I will return love with more love, affection with affection and affection with affection. And not just explicit love, after all, love and affection are demonstrated through actions and not just through words.

I was taught that actions are much more important than words, and that is what I will do. But I was also taught not to ignore the despair, sadness and pain of the people around me, these things are illnesses that eat away at the soul and destroy the person. They must not be ignored or nurtured, they must be fought with fire and steel.

That's what I'm going to do. And I'm sure it won't be difficult at all.

My emotions may be all messed up right now, but I have to remember that today is the first day with this new family. It wouldn't be fair to myself to be calm and calm in my situation.

In fact, I want to scream until the air in my lungs runs out in an attempt to alleviate this confusion. But since I can't do that, for obvious reasons, I'll try to solve the main cause of my confusion...

Let's go to mom's lap.

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I hope you can help me correct any spelling errors in the chapters.

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