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SHINOBI: The RPG

A min-maxing Self-Insert ruins himself at character creation because S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Story Written by Fulcon.

Leylin_Farlier · Anime & Comics
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93 Chs

Around the World: Written in Stone

"I'm just saying it's a good idea to turn around and not come back," I explained with a raised eyebrow. Kneeling down, I pulled a large rock out of the earth. It was about three times the size of my head, but that made the point I was going to make more obvious. "Last chance to go, or I'll put you all into a coma. With this rock."

There were eight bandits surrounding me and they all erupted into laughter at my threat. I was eerily reminded of bandits from Skyrim and raiders from Fallout, people who could not really be bought, bullied or reasoned with, people who only wanted to plunder and pillage until the player character ruthlessly butchered them like the subhuman meat-sacks they were.

The leader, a man dressed in a dark brown poncho and what I could only describe as a sombrero, fixed me with a cold glare. "Get 'em, boys."

I let out a sigh, attaching chakra strings to the rock and shooting it like a rocket, hitting the bandit leader in the 'button'; the place on the jaw that when directly struck would immediately floor an opponent. Then I swung it around and it collided with the knees of the bandit trying to throw shuriken at me. Then I pulled it straight up, knocking him straight into the air and onto his back.

Another bandit swung with kunai in hand, held in reverse. I pulled my rock in and spun around, launching it into this poor bandit's chest three separate times in rapid succession, knocking the wind out of him, then onto his face, sending him sprawling onto the floor.

Three down, five to go.

Right after I finished dealing with the first joker who thought it was a good idea to fight me in melee range, two more who were dual-wielding trench knives attacked. I ducked and span, bringing the rock around spinning and hitting both of them in their knees and hitting them both in the head with enough force to, you guessed it, put them into comas.

…I'm nonlethal, not harmless.

Three more, where'd they go?

Oh, they're running.

There was a chance they'd simply disband and go bug someone else, but that would mean inflicting them on someone else. So, they don't get to run – I gave them that chance already. They were homeless nin, so they got further than a chakra-less human would, but they were below academy level, so that wasn't saying much.

I send three sets of chakra threads tying around their legs, causing them to trip. I reel them in and with my now blood splattered rock, knock each of them into comas.

That's eight bandits present and accounted for. Unconscious and in comas, will be knocked out for one maybe two days? Actually, are they okay? They're not going to die on me? He's fine, he's fine, he's fine, he's…

Medicine Check Success: 100/50.

…he's fine. They're all fine.

On my search for Iwagakure, I came across this village which was being attacked by bandits and while the families all hid inside their homes, I decided to drop in and try to convince these bandits to leave.

Now they're unconscious and at the mercy of the law of the Land of Earth. Given that this is likely not the first time they've raided and sacked a town, and have more than likely committed murder, the penalty would be death.

Being perfectly honest, I agree with that law. The punishment must fit the crime, I just don't believe I'm the one who gets to decide who lives or dies.

The village was reasonably small, a few buildings chiseled out of the mountain-side. I could see people slowly starting to peek out of the windows.

"It's safe, everyone can come out now," I called out. "They're not dead, just out cold."

One of the doors opened, and gradually, an old man stepped out. He was bald, but had a long, long white beard. Tanned skin was thickly wrinkled and his eyes quickly darted from me to the bandits at my feat.

"Are you alright?" I asked, letting my concern reach my voice.

"What do we-"

"Are you alright?" I cut him off, wanting to enforce that I concerned about his wellbeing, not the money he might've been able to pay me. I've enough money to set myself up for life, I don't need any more cash. If I were strapped for cash and starving, maybe, but now? Nah.

"I-yes. Yes, I am alright," The old man replied. "I'm Fujioka Ryu, Mayor of the town."

"Good to meet you," I replied with a nod. "Anyone in the village injured?"

"Seven injured. They beheaded the captain of our militia in front of everyone three months ago," Fujioka spat on the bleeding face of the bandit's leader with a hateful glare. "And then executed the rest."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I replied with a frown. None of these people, that I could see, had anything that could be construed as chakra or jutsu-capability. "Anyway, let's get to treating the injured and you can tell me more."

"I couldn't ask you to do that," He said, the people in the village started to come out of their homes. "We're a poor village and we don't have much with which to pay you."

"I insist," I replied with a frown. "I don't need a reward, I just want to help. Besides, I might just be the best doctor to come through your village in a long time."

"If you don't want a reward, then why do you want to help?" The Mayor asked, squinting.

"Helping feels good," I replied with a shrug. "Besides, I can, so I want too. Alright?"

He was quiet, then let out a defeated sigh. "Very well."

I'm glad I had switched my outfit out a while ago for a brown jumpsuit and blank hitai-ate. I wouldn't have been able to get in by wearing something that tied me to Konoha. They would've fought to their last man to keep me away from the people who needed help and…yeah.

The mayor was slow, but I decided it best to school my impatience. Even while eyes of suspicion and curiosity were trained on me, following my every move.

The largest building, obviously the town hall, was made of the same dark stone the rest of the village was made of. It had three pointed pillars on the roofs, swirled from base to tip. The doors were about twice my height, and they swung easily on their hinges.

Inside, laid down on cots, were seven people, four men, two women and a small boy. Stab wounds and lacerations on all. I quickly got to work. "So, what was stopping you from hiring Shinobi to take care of them."

Medicine Check Success: 100/65.

Medicine Check Success: 100/90.

"We had been saving up," The Mayor replied as I mended the toddler's cut up arm and filled in the hole that had been drilled into his stomach. "But they found the funds we had been putting away today. We had just about lost hope until you arrived."

"And they wouldn't come help you on an 'I owe you', would they?" I asked with a frown, moving on to one of the women, a deep gash on her stomach.

Medicine Check Success: 100/85.

"No," The Mayor spat on the ground. "No, they wouldn't. Why would they? With how poor we are, we don't pay much in taxes so the Daimyo wouldn't compel them to help either."

"And you couldn't make the proper payments on a loan, could you?" I asked, moving onto the next woman, her arm having nearly been severed, hanging on by the barest hint of bone.

Medicine Check Success: 100/95.

"It would've broken the village," The Mayor shook his head.

"Make sure you keep the cash you've been saving up to jumpstart everything," I said with a raised eyebrow. "Alright?"

"Y-yes," The Mayor bowed. "You are most generous, Shinobi-san."

"No, I'm just stupidly wealthy and don't need any more cash," I replied, moving on to one of the men. This one had both of his knees broken in with what looked like a hammer. "Back to what you were saying before. It sounds like you've tried to go to Iwa and the Daimyo."

Medicine Check Success: 100/90.

"I have," The Mayor nodded.

"So, if you don't mind me asking," I began carefully. "How do you get to Iwa?"

"Well, as village leader, I'm not supposed to divulge that information," The Mayor replied, glaring out the door. "But no one here cares. They're down the road to the west. Pass through the canyon and take a left at the fork, then there's a dirt road that leads over a bridge that looks like it's being held together by nothing but a few strings. Sturdiest bridge I've ever walked across, but you wouldn't know to look at it."

"Ninjutsu at work," I replied absentmindedly, moving to the next patient. Ribs smashed in, miracle his lungs hadn't been punctured. "So, how would I get a passport?"

Medicine Check Success: 100/60.

"Every town leader has one," Mayor responded. "As well as those the Tsuchikage or Daimyo consider worthy enough for one."

"You mean the ones that give them the most money?" I asked with a frown.

"Correct," The Mayor became lost in thought. "Why do you need one?"

"Trying to infiltrate every hidden village," I replied non-chalantly. "Personal challenge."

"You're going to get yourself killed," The Mayor warned sternly. Well, I say sternly, but that's what it is behind the shock of such a brazen claim.

"Not if I get in legally," I replied with a grin.

The Mayor huffed and folded his arms. "I suppose that's true. You been to any yet or is Iwa your first?"

"Suna and Konoha, actually," I replied. "I just need a passport to Iwa and I'll be on my way."

Final patient. Cracked skull and concussion. Not too hard, actually.

Medicine Check Success: 100/90.

Okay, pretty hard actually. But thankfully, patching up brain damage is something I can do.

"Well, I don't know how you'd get one," The Mayor said. "The Daimyo's not fool enough to trust someone just randomly strolling into his court with a large sack of money and that's double for the Tsuchikage."

I let out a sigh. "I was hoping that wouldn't be the case. Thank you for your time, Mayor."

The Mayor sighed and stroked his beard. "Look, it's not that we're not grateful. We are. This is just a fool's errand. How you even got into two Ninja villages is beyond me, but I'd abandon this quest of yours before you land into something you can't back out of."

"I appreciate your concern," I told him with a smile even though I wanted to ram my head into the floor. "I will consider what you have said."

"Excuse me?" In walked a new participant. A tall, rail-thin man with an excellent Fu-Man-Chu mustache. "But I heard this fine young man had a problem that I might be able to solve."

Thank you, Luck Stat.

"A pleasure to meet you, Shinobi-kun," The man said, with a bow that I returned. "My name is Watanabi Shiki and I'm a merchant with the Gato Shipping company. Scouting out potential clients and sites to set up offices here on land. Perhaps you've heard of us?"

"I have," I replied with a nod, remembering the Land of Waves arc that started the Naruto manga. "A pleasure to meet you, Watanabi-san. You said you had a solution to my problem?"

"Indeed, I do," He said with a large grin. "You see, my employer was able to secure the services of one of the men in charge of creating passports and I have several…blank cheques as it were."

Just like that I've run into a corrupt business man wanting to help me out. But there's always a catch with people who are corrupt, businessman and politician alike. "So, what have I done to obtain such a favor from a distinguished businessman like yourself?"

"You smashed the faces of the thugs who attacked the town and nearly killed my guys," Watanabi pointed out with his thumb over his shoulder. Then he pointed at the three men I just patched up. "And you fixed up my guys, saving us tens of thousands of ryo in medical insurance costs…for no reward, am I right?"

"I don't need ryo, no," I replied with a shake of my head.

"Excellent," He replied with a grin. "Provided all parties are agreeing, we pay one passport for services rendered."

"I think it'd be a great idea if you made a payment to charity," I replied, gesturing with my head toward the mayor. "Good for the company image, I'd say."

The Mayor got this very uncomfortable look on his face and honestly, I felt the same way. There was no real way I'd be able to get a passport legitimately and unless I wanted to waste this chance I had to see the entirety of the elemental nations by just sending clones in every time, I'd need to enlist the shadier element. I've always hated corruption, in my previous life and in this one.

Would rooting out corruption later in my life count as repentance for using it now?

…I hate that line of thinking too.

But, actually wait a minute.

The worth of this journey isn't even in seeing what conditions are like in the other villages. I know what conditions are, or at least I can make educated guesses based on their separate 'Wills', Konoha propaganda notwithstanding. The real treasure is taking a measured look at living conditions in each land as they stand.

So, I can send clones into the villages, get the documents I want and still examine the affect that the village has on the surrounding area. So, my clone approach works, I just needed to slow down and be patient.

"Actually, I think the Mayor is right," I lied, shaking my head. "I've already got two villages down in my quest, I think I'll just quit while I'm ahead."

The Mayor sighed in relief.

"Oh. So, we don't need to worry about payment at all," Watanabi replied with a shrug. "Smart move, Shinobi-kun, if I were honest with you."

"I mean, you could still make that payment to charity," I replied.

"That's unnecessary," The Mayor interrupted sharply. "We don't need blood money."

"I bow to your principled nature," Watanabi replied with a grin and an actual bow. I knew he was only happy about saving money. "Now, how long until my men wake up?"

"They'll be up within the hour," I replied with a shrug.

"When they're up and about, we'll be taking our business to where it is welcome," He reached into his coat and withdrew a business card. "If you ever need anything else, please feel free to contact me."

"I'll do that," I replied with a nod and smile. "Thank you for your generosity."

Quest Added: Written in Stone.

Find Information on the Iwa-Konoha conflict: 0/3

(Optional: Find records of the Great Shinobi Wars: 0/3)

(Optional: Don't get spotted once.)

The land of Earth reminded me a lot of my old home.

In my first lifetime, I grew up on the wide-open plains in the mountains of Midwest America, a place that randomly broke out into huge pine-forests with one of the largest cities in the nation inexplicably rising out in the middle of the mountains. As I soared over the peaks and valleys of the Land of Earth, I only found myself feeling homesick.

The Voyage Home was a quest, and I will complete it.

Iwagakure was surprisingly hard to find, if only because the village matched colors with the rest of the mountain range. It reminded me of a modern-day city, actually. It didn't have skyscrapers, but the dozens of peaks with buildings built on top of those peaks evoked that image. Bridges tied the buildings together, providing footpaths for civilian personnel in the village to do what they needed.

It was remarkably similar to Konoha in that regard, actually. I wasn't sure they even had a civilian population, the Academy never talked about it. Just a society of hardened warriors that wanted nothing more than to murder Konoha and burn its forests to the ground. That's propaganda for you.

The infiltration operation was going to take longer than it had in Suna for the simple reason that I already knew my way around Suna. I've never been to Iwa so I don't know quite where everything this. But that's alright. This time I think I'll join my clones in the village, if only to observe the civilian population that I didn't know existed.

So glad I turned down Watanabi's offer, honestly. It would've been pointless for me and just soiled me for accepting the help of a corrupt business man. He was only trying to get me on the company's payroll, anyway. Understandable, but I'm glad I refused.

The village's capital building was easy to identify. It was the largest building with the symbol for Iwa engraved on it's roof. Alright, so. Team of five shine-clones, head on inside. Work fast. Work silent.

Shine Clone Jutsu.

The five emerged around me and zipped to the village below. I descended as well, slowly. I noted the messenger hawks started flying in formations above the village. Iwa's ANBU were mobilized. As long as none of my clones make a stupid mistake, it'll go down as a false alarm after I leave.

As I floated down the bridges and streets of Iwagakure, I saw that the civilians had…all started to go inside? At the same time? They were locking the doors, shutting the windows, trying to still their breathing.

I blinked, trying to understand, when it hit me.

Perception Check Success: 10/7.

Oh yeah.

The Yellow Flash.

They likely put procedures in place while the Fourth was off earning his nick-name in case he managed to get inside the village with FTG. Suna hadn't acted this way because none of their men fell to the Fourth. But Iwa did and if they didn't quite understand how his FTG worked, they might've thought he could appear in their village if he found it.

I wonder how long it took for them to figure out that he needed special kunai to warp too. My own variant of the FTG doesn't cause a flash, now that I think about it, which explains why people thought I just went invisible when I used it if they didn't know I had it.

Landing on the ground, I pressed my ear to the door of a home, with five people inside.

Perception Check Success: 10/6.

I heard a child whisper. "Mommy, how long until the alert goes away?"

Charisma Check Success: 10/7.

"I don't know," Was the reply, from a parent trying to keep calm in front of their child but unable to hide their nervousness from other adults that were listening. "We just need to sit here, okay? The Ninja are searching the village, they'll let us know."

We need to finish this quickly.

I drifted off, searching the village until I found two people who had not gone inside. They were standing in front of a fountain with a small rock at the top, the pool around it being filled with rocks that looked exactly like this one.

It was a father and son, I hazarded a guess, both Iwa Shinobi. The father was bald, but with a thick, dark brown beard that I was immediately envious of, while the son, who couldn't be any older than nine, had his hair cut in a short mohawk.

"Shouldn't we be heading inside, Father?" The son asked with a frown.

"My orders are to guard the monument," The Father replied sternly. "That doesn't change if the village is under attack or not."

Monument?

Oh, this is the Will of Stone Monument. I had heard this had existed, but no one in Konoha has ever seen it in person. Wow! Alright, this makes sense now.

"Now son," This father began, stepping up to the edge of the monuments pool. He gestured to the stone that sat on top of the monument. "What is this?"

Ooh, a philosophical lesson. Awesome! I'm going to sit in, this is fascinating!

"It's a rock," The Son replied.

"That's right," The Father nodded. "What does it mean?"

"It symbolizes the stone determination all shinobi must have in order to protect the village and those inside it," The Child recited, sounding annoyed. "Those with the will of stone can't be moved when staying still and cannot be stopped when they are moving."

Interesting. So, the ideal Iwa shinobi embodies both the Unstoppable Force and the Immovable Object when it is required of them.

"That is right," The father said. "Now…"

He reached out and knocked the stone off the top into the water. Then he grabbed another rock and placed it on the top of the monument. "Has anything changed?"

The Son almost blurted out the obvious, that of course it had changed because he knocked the first stone off and placed a new one on top. "…no. Because there is still a rock on the top of the monument."

The Father slowly broke out into a smile. "That's my boy. Very good. Because we must all be as stone, so that we can carry on when others cannot."

Interesting. So, is the metaphor here that absolutely everyone is replaceable in the grand machine, or is it that everyone is capable of filling any role with distinction with enough grit? I believe that it's actually some mixture of both. A pure meritocracy.

A nice contrast between the Will of Fire and the Will of Stone, actually. The Will of Fire is primarily focused on compassion and believing in the power of love to bring about peace for everyone, while the Will of Stone requires everyone to be as stone; you will do what is required, or we will find someone who can.

I actually like them both. If one doesn't work, they don't deserve the fruits of the labor, but if they can't work, one should share in as much as is reasonable. They're like two extremes of the delicate balance between fairness and compassion.

…come to think of it, it's easy to see how the Will of Stone could be used for evil, grinding up and spitting out people. But has there ever been a time where the Will of Fire has ended up screwing us over?

There's something in the back of my head, a nagging thought of something I used to know but forgot in the thirteen years that I've been alive in this crazy world. I honestly didn't think I could forget things with 10 int, but hey. There we are.

I've forgotten something. But I need to remember. This honestly really bothers me. A lot. What could I have possibly forgotten?

It's probably something really, really important too.

Maybe I'll remember later. For now, I think I should leave and wait for my clones to finish their work. Need to think about this. I need to remember.

Quest Complete: Written in Stone.

Completed: Find Information on the Iwa-Konoha conflict: 3/3

Completed: (Optional: Find records of the Great Shinobi Wars: 3/3)

Completed: (Optional: Don't get spotted once.)

…well. Alright then. Iwa thinks Konoha started the third war too. But that's because they caught a black ops team operating within their borders. Identified as black ops, highest classification. Half the team was killed, the other half captured, who quickly found ways to commit suicide in captivity. Identified as potential members of a shadow organization that's technically illegal in Konoha but used as justification to start the war.

Crap, they're talking about ROOT. They suspect ROOT was a thing and it is a thing. I mean, the so-called 'attack' was written off as propaganda in the Hidden Leaf because the Hokage never ordered any such operations in Land of Earth…but they weren't operating on the Hokage's orders. They were working on Danzo's.

I've never even seen Danzo. What does the guy look like? Isn't he on the run because of the Orochimaru experiments we found and aired out for the…clans…something stinks. And it's got to do with that thing that I can't remember.

They're also scared positively stiff of me. That's not unusual, I'd be scared of me in their position too. I don't ever plan on starting or participating in a war with them, but it's understandable. But they're mobilizing for war. A defensive war. They think Konoha would like nothing more than to start a war, destroy their village and take everything they had.

Inside Konoha, I can tell you that there are people like that.

Quest Updated: Around the World.

Completed: Complete 1001 Tales in Suna.

Completed: Complete Written in Stone in Iwa.

Complete Ashes of the Past in Konoha.

Complete Myths of Olympus in Kumo.

Complete Rivers of Blood in Kiri.

Complete The Iron Rod in Tetsu no Kuni.

Okay.

So, I'm heading out before something happens and I get caught and start that war I don't want to start.

Hiruzen walked through the trees, as quiet and undetectable as a shadow.

It was mid-morning, the suns rays shining through the canopy above. The grass below gently shifted with the breeze.

Until, eventually, Hiruzen came to a clearing. An old, familiar clearing. One that he remembered well, remembered as the day the Second Hokage had chosen him as his successor.

Here, of course, stood another old man. His entire right side was covered in bandages, a golden brace on his wrist. Danzo turned to face his old comrade, the x-shaped scar on his chin as noticeable as any other day.

"So, it's finally come to this," Danzo sighed, looking at his old teammate with weariness.

"So, it has," Hiruzen replied. "It's been an age since we've been here."

"It has been a long time," Danzo agreed, a small frown on his lips. "Everything I've said. Everything I've done. It's all been for the sake of Konoha. For the sake of the village. You know this."

Hiruzen sighed. "I don't know why it's taken me this long to admit it, but I don't believe you. I don't believe I ever did."

"And why is that?" Danzo asked with a sneer. "Is it because I do the things that you won't? Because I performed that unseemly business that ensures that the village, that every village, is kept strong? The reality that work cannot be done without dirtying your hands is one that you've always rejected, Hiruzen. You're weak."

Hiruzen glared viciously at his old comrade before taking a breath to calm himself. "Danzo, let us be honest, here in our final moments together. You've never been interested in the good of Konoha, you've only been interested in the good of Danzo. Continuing the operation of ROOT against my orders, kidnapping children and orphans for use in your emotionless army, exterminating the Uchiha clan-"

"They were planning a coup!" Danzo explained, pointing severely with his good arm. "They had to be destroyed, down to the last man woman and child so they didn't destroy the village from the inside."

"They were planning a coup because we had put them in a compound," Hiruzen replied with a weary sigh. "Because they were being held accountable for the actions of Madara long after that monster's passing. Because Sensei demanded they be watched, that they never be allowed to become what Madara was. It was a vicious cycle, they did something, then we did something, and it continued and escalated until they all ended up dead."

"That's simply the way the world functions," Danzo snarled condescendingly. "The way men are. The only way to ensure peace is to burn it out of them. Their anger, their hatred, their capacity for revenge. Burn it out. Leave only loyalty and duty."

"And yet you never stopped resenting me for being chosen by Sensei," Hiruzen replied. "You never burnt out your regret for failing to volunteer, you never removed your fear of death, you never changed yourself to be that unthinking, unquestionably loyal soldier that you seem convinced Konoha needed. Only others, and only when they served you. Why was that, I wonder?"

Danzo started to shake, his only eye wide open and glaring as he undid the golden clasp on his wrist. "Konoha needs brilliant leaders and loyal soldiers. I am no soldier anymore."

"Come to think of it," Hiruzen mused, making the hand-seals for the summoning jutsu in the sleeves of his robes. "You became rather insistent about the Uchiha being locked into a compound on a suspicion, not because of anything they had done. Not anything big. So, tell me…did they have something on you?"

"They were simply traitors in the making," Danzo snarled, starting to undo the bandages, revealing…Sharingan. "I simply removed them and distributed their power to where it could best serve the village."

Hiruzen blinked. Blinked once, then twice. Staring there, at the pale flesh of Danzo's arm that had many, many red eyes staring out at him. Solid red eyes that were implanted into the flesh, that moved, functioned and saw much like normal eyes. "I see. You merely desired their power. That makes sense. Did my old student help you with that?"

"A traitor as well," Danzo replied. "Why are all your student's traitors or soft-hearted cowards, Hiruzen? Tell me that!"

"I believe you are the last person that should be judging others for cowardice, Danzo," Hiruzen replied, the summoning jutsu primed, Enma ready to pop in when the fighting started. "I had wanted someone who could compensate for my soft-heartedness, Danzo…clearly I made the wrong choice when I picked you. I see that now. How ironic is it that the man who demands absolute loyalty is the one who's committed insurrection?"

"There is nothing more to say," Danzo stated with a cold glare.

Finally, the two men charged.

The Previous was a Fanbased Work of Fiction, written by Fulcon. Naruto is owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the Official Release.

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