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We drove into the village. As we passed each house, the villagers took a moment to stare us down. I tried to smile at them, but after the third sour expression I receive, I shifted back to looking forward. I wondered if they recognised me. Perhaps it was because my hair was long that they turned up their noses. My childhood hair had the roar of a mane, but I had tamed it since. That must be it. My hair was too tame for them to recognise me.

I could feel the blood pumped at the back of my skull as we pulled up to the cream-coated house. It was still crooked and looked to be unevenly balanced on its foundations. Time, however, saw the bite-sized house of my girlhood memories mature into an elephant with a full breast of windows and extravagant wooden window panes. It was a house fit for a king, in this case, a Chief.

“You’ve got one week! One week then I’m picking you up,” Lucas said in a serious voice, looking at the formidable house. I ran my hand through his floppy blonde hair. He was a well-groomed lad with tailored fine clothing that fell onto his frame like the petals over a flower bud. I followed his gaze, also looking at the house. It was far too big to fit into my memories.

“I know. I know. I have to do this. I’ll regret it if I don’t see him,” I reiterated. He sighed but relented. I knew his overprotectiveness was well-intended. Looking out for my well-being has become first nature to him over the years.

“I get it, Tam-sun. But I’ve still got half a tank. So, just say the word and I’ll Tokyo Drift our asses outta here!” he reminded me for the fifteenth time since we hopped into this tuna can on wheels. He wore a cheeky smile that only barely eclipsed his dimples. I knew it was a mistake watching that movie. I nudged him, chuckling. There was no point in delaying my dramatic return. I bust open the antique door and ducked out of the vintage Beatle. Lucas’s taste in automobiles was not helping me today.

I looked at the house once more before turning to my nervous brother. From the way the village folks stared us down as we drove in, I was not optimistic about how they would react to a ghost in their midst.

“Do me a favour, Luke,” I stared into expectant his crystal eyes and tried to translate my concern to him, unspoken, “stay in the car.” I was grateful that he understood. I reckon that my seriousness was rare enough to carry weight.

“Thanks for everything, bro,” I said with a soft smile. He just rolled his eyes and waved off my gratitude with a laugh. We parted ways and made our way up the grave soiled pathway to my childhood home. He made sure to wait until I reached the door before he started his engine.

I wonder if Zeeny was still a pudgy little guy. When I heard about my baby brother’s upcoming wedding, decided to take the first portal home. I needed to be there on his big day and see the man he became. The door opened before I had a chance to knock. I heard rustling and hurried movements by the windows and then I was pulled into a bone-crushing embrace.

“Oh, my grandbaby is home! Praise the Gods!” I tried to return her affection, but my surprisingly strong grandmother had me in a death grip. I was gasping for air as she swung me from one side to the other. Finally, she let my feet touch the ground. Only for to be swept up into the arms of the next, presumably long-lost relative, and so it went until a familiar voice boomed through the room.

“Is that my little adventurer I hear?” came my uncle unearthed and full-breasted voice barrelling over the smaller and less formidable voices in the room. He stood visible and tall above everyone else in the room. His broad shoulders were pulled back and the once round jaw was filled down to points. He was cloaked in a proud and loud black beard. I took long strides towards the pillar of a man and jumped into his huge arms. He brought me close to his chest and laughed so wholly that I felt his joy vibrate through my entire body as he, too, rocked me from side to side. Like mother like son. I smiled up brightly as he put me down.

“Where is the groom to be?” I asked zealously. I was bubbling with excitement to see my brother after so long! I looked to my uncle and noticed that his iridescent smile had dimmed, and he looked almost sullen. My expression soon turned to a look of confusion when I met the bright brown eyes of an unfamiliar boy to his right. He had the pre-stubble of an adolescent boy, but his broad shoulders and prominent brow ridge contradicted that assumption. He had squared cheekbones and a large strong nose that reminded me of my father.

Razeen?

I looked at the young man I now recognised as my baby brother. Only, he was not a baby anymore. In my absence, the gap-toothed toddler had grown and transformed into a man. A man with the promise of a beard on his top lip and the upper body of a Zulu warrior. It was clear that he didn’t know who I was. I don’t blame him; he was barely old enough to spell my name when I left.

“Zeeny, it’s me. Tamsyn,” I said with a quivering voice. I was biting back the flood of tears pooling in my throat. I moved to hug him, but he held his hand out to stop me.

“No one calls me that… Tam… syn,” he sounded like he as testing out the weight of my name on his tongue for the very first time.

“I didn’t even know I had a cousin, but this is awesome,” I could hear the joy in his voice. Cousin? Loud waves of violent white noise crashing against the inside of my skull. He smiled at me once more before excusing himself to tend to something in the village. I watched him with blazing breath and a hernia forming between my eyes. I nearly tore my head from my shoulders with the speed that I turn to looked towards my granny for answers. Had they really not uttered a word about me to my brother since I left. It’s one thing to not speak of me but to remove our relationship completely was unthinkable to me!

“Don’t look at you grandma like that, child. It was my call,” my unclear clarified. He smacked his lips and tensed his jaw before crouching down to meet our level better. My uncle ushered me out of the family room, towards the back of the house.

“He was a boy and he needed to be a man. I did not want Razeen to long for a sister on the other side of the world. That would only distract him from his duty,” he spoke down to me. His voice was steady and unembellished as if he was describing the blueness of the sky. I, on the other hand, was pissed beyond words. I stormed past my screaming uncle and out of the back door of the house. I made a and sprinted to my stream. It was the only place I knew no one would find me. How could they take it upon themselves to erase me from my brother’s memory?

I collapsed on the muddy soil and kicked off my shoes so I could tether myself to the soil. I tried to remember what my teachers had coached me to do in times like these. All of their lessons ricocheted and did summersaults around my mind without any clear direction. They were moving too fast for me to single out any particular piece of advice. I closed my eyes in the hope that my thoughts would transform from a tumultuous rapid to a more manageable stream. I felt the world shake beneath my feet slightly. The blood in my ears pulsed until it felt like it was vibrating at a rapid hum. My lungs were started to heat up and the air in my lungs was turning to steam. I tasted the familiar rusted flavour of fury at the base of my tongue. I knew if I opened my eyes, the world would turn to ask. So, instead, I clenched my fists and did release short shots of air from between my parched lips.

I felt my blood boil and the stream almost leave my skin. I knew it was only a few moments moments before I would explode and burn down everything in the vicinity! I was trying my best to control my breathing but to no avail. It was boiling and about to run over at any moment.

The icy cold water pierced my skin and extinguished all the flames seething in my veins. I shot up onto my feet and came face to face with a petite girl wearing a look of concern.